Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Anyone's MIL, a crappy grandma?

My MIL I think wins the prize. She is completely obsessed with my niece, it makes me sick. She totally ignores DD and anything she does, and is constantly comparing the two. Granted, my niece was her first grandchild but that shouldn't be an excuse.

Over the weekend, on our weekly phone call I was telling her the new words Katelyn was saying and things she was doing, she acted disinterested and started telling me things my niece has been doing. I even said "I can't believe she is only 16 months and doing blah blah blah." She didn't even answer me!

Even my husband notices it, he's expressed to her the way we feel many times and she just brushes it off that she treats them the same. I don't know what to do anymore. Each time we are all together I get more and more annoyed. This year we are all spending Christmas together and I know that with the pregnancy hormones.......its not going to be pretty!

 Sorry I had to vent, thanks for listening.

Re: Anyone's MIL, a crappy grandma?

  • Mine is a great Grammommy to her non-brown grandchildren....to Morgan? Not so much. I feel like Morgan is an afterthought, all of the time.

    I relate.

     

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  • It makes me so sad, because in all reality what did my daughter ever do to deserve this? Its such a shame, she acts like this.
  • It makes me MAD, not sad.

    I do feel sad for my MIL - she's the one missing out. My kid is AWESOME!

     

  • I have three adopted niece and nephews (One is Guatamalan, the other two are African American).  My child is the only biological grandchild.  My mom keeps commenting on how she finally has a blued eyed baby girl in the family.  Really mom?  All four of your children (caucasian) have brown eyes.  WHO CARES?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 
  • imageToosdai:

    Mine is a great Grammommy to her non-brown grandchildren....to Morgan? Not so much. I feel like Morgan is an afterthought, all of the time.

    I relate.

     

    How shameful.

  • imageToosdai:

    It makes me MAD, not sad.

    I do feel sad for my MIL - she's the one missing out. My kid is AWESOME!

     

    Your kid does make me smile every time I see a photo of her.  She's pretty cute, toosdai.

  • imageToosdai:

    Mine is a great Grammommy to her non-brown grandchildren....to Morgan? Not so much. I feel like Morgan is an afterthought, all of the time.

    I relate.

     

    That's so sad. My MIL is the same way to her white grandchildren (PD & one of his cousins). Let's just be each other LO's Grandmas. 

  • Mine.  They live 20 minutes away and she has shown zero interest in her grandson.  her loss.
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  • I'm sorry :( I would be really hurt if my MIL treated DD with disinterest and was obsessed with my neice or nephews. It's her loss as she is missing out on actually knowing and forming  special relationship with your DD.

    Toosdai, I really can't understand this... I'm so sorry! I would be livid. How unfortunate that your DD will be experiencing prejudice within her own family. I really want to cry for her Sad

    I wish I could fix this for both of your DDs... or at least love on them/spoil them enough to make up for their grandmas not treating them equally.

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  • Is my mom your MIL?  This is my mom to a tee.  She has always favored my brother, and she has always favored his daughter.  At my shower, my SIL had sent a package of gifts for DD, and had included my niece's school picture for my mom and I...my mom started crying about how DN was getting so big, and wasn't she beautiful...until she realized no one was paying attention to her.

    My MIL is golden.  I would much rather be around MIL than my mother.

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  • I can relate...my dd gets the short end of the stick with my MIL - her other two grandchildren live in the same town, we live an hour away. she sees them at least 4-5 times a week. They get more presents, more everything.

    DD gets crap that is for older kids, she can't even buy the right size clothing for her. I have xmas presents from last year that she still can't fit into.

    they don't see very often because I don't like staying there (FIL smokes a lot) they don't come to our house... whatever their loss, she's amazing.

  • My MIL is closer to her neices as well. She never invites us over and hardly comes to visit and then complains that she never sees the kids. I can't say I invite her over alot but DH and I work opposite shifts so we are usually super busy and super tired. She just doesn't call or make the time for us either so she should stop complaining. 
  • I posted on my local about this yesterday. We bought Lydia a sled when it snowed and she told us she'd pay us for it ($15) so it could be her Christmas present from Grandma. MIL has 12 grown grandchildren and told me that since they didn't know my husband was going to get married and have kids, all her oil money was already divided and the other grandkids got their inheritance last Christmas (when DD was ALIVE) and ours kids won't get any. Thanks for telling me, but seriously maybe just don't talk to me about it.

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