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Multiples
Maybe I'm doing it wrong...
DH and I had yet another arguement last night about why the house is a disaster (which I beg to differ with by the way...a little cluttered yes...disaster, no). He wants to know why if I'm home all damn day I can't manage to do the dishes, laundry, vacuum, swiffer and grocery shop...oh, and make dinner. I get a few loads of laundry done during the week, with one load of baby laundry every day, a load of dishes a day and when I have family help I make it to the grocery, bank, and squeeze in some Christmas shopping either online or (ugh!) in the mall. But I am on the go all day with these babies. I hear about other women who get addicted to daytime soaps and talkshows on maternity leave, I hardly ever even turn on the tv! I want to know if I am alone here and really need to get my act together...what is your babies schedule, how do you squeeze it all in?
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Re: Maybe I'm doing it wrong...
I'm sorry your H is being an idiot. My only advice is to take a Saturday to yourself, leave him home all day with the babies, and leave him a list of things to do all while making sure the babies are fed, dry, and happy.
That's what worked for my DH when DD was born, and I only had 1 baby!
I love pp's suggestion!
I do manage to get everything done around the house unless I leave the house during the day. But, that is only because my kids nap at the same time and still take 2-3 hour naps multiple times a day. when that stops my efficiency will stop. If we leave the house, even for a short time, nothing manages to get done. and, we eat really easy/simple dinners. The crock pot helps a lot.
totally agree with this suggestion. maybe he's having his own version of PPD - like wishing things could be the same as they used to be and not really getting how different they are?
I am sorry but I have to agree your DH is an idiot.
Perhaps he should stay home with the babies on say the weekend and see how much he can get done, while you are not there. If he is like most men the house will be worst!
My boys are almost a year old, in addition I have an almost 3 year old DD.
I get most of my laundry washed. On a good week I am lucky if it gets folded. I am even luckier if it gets put a way. Happened like 1 time this whole year.
My house is a mess. I try to keep the kitchen clean, the downstairs bathroom and the downstairs floor cleans. That's really about it!
God forbid someone goes up to my second floor. Looks like a bomb went off in there. I can't get up there to clean it because my job is taking care of the babies. If they are upstairs with me I have to watch them and I can't leave them downstairs.
On the weekend my DH wants to do other stuff - mainly his stuff and therefore I don't really get up there to clean. I have just let it go and at this point he knows he better not say a word to me.
Especially since he can't even make a meal with all 3 kids around, yet I do it 3x's a day every day.
I don't do the food shopping anymore - he does. Mostly because he doesn't want to stay home with the 3 kids for 2/3 hours while I am out. He can't handle it - so he does it. Fine by me as he takes my DD with him so I only have 2.
Your DH has to realize that your responsibilty is to those babies, not to cleaning and such. If you are able to get anything done it is a bonus. It doesn't get easier to clean when they get older it gets harder. At least for me.
I am a SAHM, but I can't imagine if I worked, my house would be gross, well if I worked I would have a cleaning lady because I just couldn't do it.
You are supposed to be recovery from birth and taking care of those babies while you are on leave. You will never get this time back. You DH needs to get a clue and give you a break.
You are going to have to put your foot down on this and just tell him that the house is what it is and he has to either do it himself or get over it.
As for TV. I am lucky if I get to watch a half show while they are sleeping. This usually only happens if I get to fold laundry.
I used to love to read - now I don't have time - I will hide out in our bathroom for 10 minutes every night after they are asleep to try to relax and read.
Good luck!
I completely agree with all of this.
I would also say that if he won't lay off after talking, or giving him a taste of his own medicine, hire a cleaning person. Your time with those babies is too valuable to be scrubbing toilets.
While I only work PT, I still work. I also take the day(s) I don't work to do everything I can to clean the house and run the errands without having to cart or chase DD around. When the twins are born, and DH is deployed, you can bet your butt I'm hiring a cleaning person.
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no- you don't need to get your act together- your DH needs an attitude adjustment! Mine would be in BIG trouble if he acted that way with me!
leave your DH home on a sat all day alone with the babies- let him see how much he gets done.
Leave DH at home alone for the day and see what all he manages to get done. That may be the wakeup call he needs to see that it's just not always possible to do ALL that stuff (to me that's a lot to ask while trying to watch/entertain babies). While I was still on leave, I hear you about not even having a chance to watch TV. All singelton moms at work told me I'd be bored by the end of my leave - not a chance. I honestly have not been bored in the 3 months and almost 2 weeks they've been around!!
Good for you for getting done what you are!