I need to understand

oh-zysbaby · December 2009

And since you are the smartest ladies I know, I'm asking.

I get that this board is a statistical anomaly. It is not a good sample group and therefore we see statistically more IF challenges, more problems during pregnancy, more miscarriages, etc. I get that.

What I don't get is all these early deliveries. I though they were better at stopping labor than this. Heck, Leslie is the last person who really struggled with early labor (that they were able to stop) and they got her twins MUCH farther than expected. Every other early labor we've seen has resulted in an almost immediate delivery.

Am I naive to think this? Does this happen more than I think, or is it just another statistical hiccup?

boxermama24 · December 2009

I have thought the same thing. It brings fear into my bones more than I ever thought possible. It is sad, but true - my feelings toward entering another pregnancy are far more pessimistic because of how often I see/hear of m/c, early delivery, etc. on these boards. I am only hoping and praying it's the statistical hiccup you speak of, and I'm not sure how I'll ever get over these fears having had 2 m/c's myself.

newbie425 · December 2009

My DH and I were just discussing this. I would like to think this is just a string of bad luck. I hope it doesn't happen for a VERY LONG TIME, or ever again for that matter.

*KC*luvs*RJ* · December 2009

I'm with you. I honestly thought they were better at stopping early labor, but it seems that they're not.

preppynewlywed · December 2009

I actually know 2 or 3 people in real life who delivered before 30 weeks, and all have healthy babies now.

I've been trying to figure out if it is more common than I thought or less common. I am starting to think it is more common.

With all that medicine can do it is crazy to me that it still happens. I also remember my mom being in labor with my twin brothers at 30 weeks and her being told they would probably not live {18 yrs ago}. My brothers are, in fact, alive and well with no preemie issues.

leslie13510 · December 2009

I don't know if it accurately shows statistics or not, but I know I was damn lucky they caught my incompetent cervix in time. If I hadn't been having twins my big u/s would have been done by a regular tech, and not a peri, and who knows if they would have caught it in time to get a cerclage in. If my follow up u/s had been a few days later than it was, I might have been fully effaced and it could have been disastrous. Then, my OB thinks the actual preterm labor I faced was only held off because of the cerclage keeping me from dilating. I had awesome monitoring which I am beyond thankful for, because without it there is no way they would have stayed in so long.

ValentineBB · December 2009

I was thinking the same thing.

Ace1599 · December 2009

I actually felt the same way up until last April. When I woke up that morning, I told DH, They are going to cerclage me and I am going to be on Bed Rest for the next 16 weeks. Never would I have thought 3.5 hours later, I would have an outside baby. In my case, when I got there we had no option to stop. I had no cervix left to stitch and my water was exposed. I have now been diagnosed as high risk with Unexplained PTL. Sometimes they just don't see it coming. I am not sure what GC's circumstances are because I know there is usually some other risk factors, but unfortunately Prematurity is way more common that anyone likes to think, or any of us like to say.

oh-zysbaby · December 2009

I honestly think it's the one drawback to this community. Being pregnant is scary enough, without seeing all the bad stuff crammed into one place.

I got pregnant and came here right after Blair lost Harpie. Reading her blog and seeing her pain killed me, and I was so afraid of a late miscarriage for so long.

Similarly, my birth story scared the hell out or Max or Tori, because she also had GD, The shoulder dystocia was probably not related whatsoever, and is a really rare thing, but because we read about it and know it exists and has happened to someone we "know", it becomes a real fear.

This is why I was so thankful to the preemie moms who came last night to remind us that there are successes.

oh-zysbaby · December 2009

Ace1599:
I actually felt the same way up until last April. When I woke up that morning, I told DH, They are going to cerclage me and I am going to be on Bed Rest for the next 16 weeks. Never would I have thought 3.5 hours later, I would have an outside baby. In my case, when I got there we had no option to stop. I had no cervix left to stitch and my water was exposed. I have now been diagnosed as high risk with Unexplained PTL. Sometimes they just don't see it coming. I am not sure what GC's circumstances are because I know there is usually some other risk factors, but unfortunately Prematurity is way more common that anyone likes to think, or any of us like to say.

Wow. I can't imagine. Your son's smiling face sure is an encouragement this morning!

preppynewlywed · December 2009

oh-zysbaby:
I honestly think it's the one drawback to this community. Being pregnant is scary enough, without seeing all the bad stuff crammed into one place.
I got pregnant and came here right after Blair lost Harpie. Reading her blog and seeing her pain killed me, and I was so afraid of a late miscarriage for so long.
Similarly, my birth story scared the hell out or Max or Tori, because she also had GD, The shoulder dystocia was probably not related whatsoever, and is a really rare thing, but because we read about it and know it exists and has happened to someone we "know", it becomes a real fear.
This is why I was so thankful to the preemie moms who came last night to remind us that there are successes.

It is really funny, because I have been so laid back through my entire pregnancy thus far despite my risk level. I think it is because I've seen so many stories that I've realized there is absolutely nothing I can do about anything.

I just can't seem to get scared or worried. I almost feel guilty about it, but at the same time I'm relieved. I think seeing everyone's stories has helped me put pregnancy into perspective...whether those stories are happy, sad, or scary.

Does that make sense?

oh-zysbaby · December 2009

preppynewlywed:
oh-zysbaby:
I honestly think it's the one drawback to this community. Being pregnant is scary enough, without seeing all the bad stuff crammed into one place.
I got pregnant and came here right after Blair lost Harpie. Reading her blog and seeing her pain killed me, and I was so afraid of a late miscarriage for so long.
Similarly, my birth story scared the hell out or Max or Tori, because she also had GD, The shoulder dystocia was probably not related whatsoever, and is a really rare thing, but because we read about it and know it exists and has happened to someone we "know", it becomes a real fear.
This is why I was so thankful to the preemie moms who came last night to remind us that there are successes.
It is really funny, because I have been so laid back through my entire pregnancy thus far despite my risk level. I think it is because I've seen so many stories that I've realized there is absolutely nothing I can do about anything.
I just can't seem to get scared or worried. I almost feel guilty about it, but at the same time I'm relieved. I think seeing everyone's stories has helped me put pregnancy into perspective...whether those stories are happy, sad, or scary.
Does that make sense?

Yeah, it does. Kind of like "All I can do is my best, be as healthy as possible, and the rest isn't up to me". I think your faith helps with that significantly, but it makes perfect sense.

I am a bit of a worrier, so this isn't the direction I go.

preppynewlywed · December 2009

oh-zysbaby:
preppynewlywed:
oh-zysbaby:
I honestly think it's the one drawback to this community. Being pregnant is scary enough, without seeing all the bad stuff crammed into one place.
I got pregnant and came here right after Blair lost Harpie. Reading her blog and seeing her pain killed me, and I was so afraid of a late miscarriage for so long.
Similarly, my birth story scared the hell out or Max or Tori, because she also had GD, The shoulder dystocia was probably not related whatsoever, and is a really rare thing, but because we read about it and know it exists and has happened to someone we "know", it becomes a real fear.
This is why I was so thankful to the preemie moms who came last night to remind us that there are successes.
It is really funny, because I have been so laid back through my entire pregnancy thus far despite my risk level. I think it is because I've seen so many stories that I've realized there is absolutely nothing I can do about anything.
I just can't seem to get scared or worried. I almost feel guilty about it, but at the same time I'm relieved. I think seeing everyone's stories has helped me put pregnancy into perspective...whether those stories are happy, sad, or scary.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does. Kind of like "All I can do is my best, be as healthy as possible, and the rest isn't up to me". I think your faith helps with that significantly, but it makes perfect sense.
I am a bit of a worrier, so this isn't the direction I go.

I think you are totally right about the faith part. I just realize I can only do so much, and then the rest is God's plan.

...and I'm not really a worrier by nature, so that probably plays into it as well.

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