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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Beccaboo0713
member
Do you thing it's irresponsible to have another child
Beccaboo0713
member
when your first child ended up in the NICU and your OB says the likelihood of the circumstances that lead to NICU occurring again is great? Last night I was glancing through that epic post on 1st regarding triplets and read that because there is a chance that they will be in the NICU and a higher risk of cerebral palsy etc that she was irresponsible.* The someone responded that even if you have a single you have a chance of a NICU baby. I tried to go back and find it this morning but I think it was deleted or edited. Anyway I admit I didn't read it all BUT it got me thinking.
So I ask again do you thing it's irresponsible to have another child when your first child ended up in the NICU and your OB says the likelihood of the circumstances that lead to NICU occurring again is great?
ETA: This wasn't the only reason people deemed her irresponsible, I realize this, it's just one that caught my eye.
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Re: Do you thing it's irresponsible to have another child
DD had IUGR and my ob says it's more likely that the next one will have the same problems, but DD is healthy now, and i know that when we plan for #2 that we will have to be prepared for more care and tests during pg. i think a lot has to do with what you can handle.
My SIL had her first baby at 33.5 weeks because she had HELPPs syndrome and this is a major topic of discussion between her and her DH because there is a chance (about 25%) the same thing could happen for the next baby.
I think no matter if it's your first or your third, there is always a chance that your baby could end up in NICU. If you know your odds are greater based on passed experience, well I think that's a conversation between you and your SO. I don't think it's irresponsible as long as you know going in about the potential consequences.
i don't think you're being irresponsible! it's good to be prepared and know the risks, but your LO sounds like he's doing pretty well! i would only be worried if you possibly had to be on bed rest w/ your next pregnancy while taking care of DS#1.
I think that it's a double edge sword. Is it irresponsible? I don't think so. Is it something that needs to be thought long and hard about? Absolutely.
I had a million dollar pregnancy between all forty-thousand u/s I had, the billion appointments, multiple triage visits, and hospital admissions. Is it irresponsible for me to get pregnant again since it costs so much money to keep me pregnant (I have IC and went into PTL)?
I think that everybody within reason has a right to have a child, even people who end up having NICU babies and bad pregnancies. I have insurance (really really good insurance) so I didn't saddle medicaid or the hospital with those charges. I won't be having more than 2-3 children because of my issues, so I feel like I'm making that sacrifice.
There are many other reasons that having a child is irresponsible;having a NICU baby isn't one of them IMO.
See, this is the big conversation between me and DH. I have both his mom and my mom really close to us (within five minutes) and he has a job that can be very flexible with so DH says that we can do it but I am such a worry wart.
I agree with this also, that is why it shocked my that money and NICU potential became an argument in that thread. Though like I said I didn't read it all so I could be taking it out of context.
Very tough to answer that. I just posed this question to DH and he does think it's irresponsible. Why bring a child into the world if you know they will suffer? Granted there are a number of circumstances that may bring the baby to the NICU, but if you know the chances are high that something may go wrong why chance it?
ETA I'm thinking worse-case scenario here.
I don't think it's irresponsible but I do think it warrants a lot of thought.
I had a very difficult pregnancy and ended up with a preemie who was in the NICU for 22 days. I haven't asked my OB or MFM what the chances are for those happening again since DS was born. However, before he was born, I did ask about the chances I would have the same pregnancy and they both said there's no way to know but it is more likely that it will happen again than someone who it didn't happen to. With that being said, no one knows until it happens. We plan on having more children but both DH and I have agreed that if my next pregnancy is anything like my last, it will be the last one.
IMO, it's similar to saying you have an X chance in of having a baby with Down Syndrome or some other special issue. Women have a higher chance of something going wrong or having chromosomal abnormalities the older they get. Does that mean that because they have a higher chance than someone younger, they shouldn't be allowed to have children and only women under 30 should be allowed to have children? Or if they have a family history of something so they now have a higher chance of that happening to them so they're being irrisponsible? I don't think so.
i think its case specific- but i really dont think its irresponsible at all- jmo
docs can be wrong about things
it would only be selfish if you could not handle the first one and decide to have another or don't take precautions like you should if you can not afford or physically or mentally handle the situation that could be... (if that makes any sense)
Exactly.