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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
cosleepers/bedsharers- I need some help please!!!!
I we went to the pedi today, and I asked about transitioning her out of the bed. He suggested CIO. Yep. I know pedi's never like the bed sharing thing.. but I was surprised. He did offer the modified CIO, like 10 min then go in, 15 min the go in and so on. But I'm not even sure I can do that?! Ugh.
My whole heart wants her to stay in the bed, but my DH thinks we will sleep better in our own space. (her and I- he has no issue!) And I do want her in her own bed at some point and tend to think the earlier the better- but I do not want to CIO! I don't know what to do, or when to do it.!? I'm so torn!!!! I think I will try Healthy Sleep Habits- but do you have any other suggestions or experiences? I don't like this at all...... 
and I don't know what to do.
TIA!!
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Re: cosleepers/bedsharers- I need some help please!!!!
If you really want her to be in your bed, and your DH has no problem other than thinking you "might" sleep better, then why do it? Guaranteed you will not sleep better if you are constantly worrying about her throughout the night.
But if you do want to transition, than go for what the pedi recommends. I think my pedi would recommend something similar, but I know for a fact that his own daughters slept with him and their mother in the bed until they were 2.
wow, your LO is young. If you are BFing, honestly it is much easier to keep on BFing on demand if your LO is close to your bed.
Around 6 mos we started getting her to sleep in her pack n play next to the bed. So she would start the night there and then end up in our bed.
Eventually we were able to get her to go to sleep in her crib for the first third-to-half of the night and then she would come into bed with us.
IMO it's a gradual transition, but easier to do than CIO. You can also read the No Cry Sleep Solution.
Also, are you sure she'll sleep better without you for now? You only get this first year once, so if you enjoy it and you know she sleeps ok, might as well enjoy a few more months of it.
Again, I much prefer having LO start the night in the pack n play or crib though. That way you and DH get some alone time to cuddle still.
eesh, i moved L to the crib at 4 months and i didnt have to do CIO -- i just put her down when she was asleep and on her tummy..she was already STTN so that helped a lot -- now, she puts herself to sleep - she reaches for her crib when shes ready to go in, i lay her down, tell her goodnight, turn the seahorse on and thats it, shes asleep in 10-15min -- IMO 4mo is too young.. but then again, im anti-CIO but just so you know, there are other ways out there to do it if you're not comfortable with CIO!!
Don't do CIO just because your pedi says so. That just seems like a standard answer.
First, decide if the sleeping arrangement is a problem for you and the baby, and talk to DH about why he wants her in the crib if its not bothering his sleeping arrangement. If no one is really unhappy - why change it? Because that's what you are supposed to do? Figure out where and why and how you will all be sleeping happily.
Next, I would read No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She has a lot of suggestions.
I would try her ideas if you do decide to transition to the crib. Its not an overnight cure all - but it might help over time. You can move as slowly or as quickly as you'd like.
Also, post on the AP board because they might have suggestions for you too because most were bed-sharers at some point.
This is what my babysitter said she did with her kids - she would get them very drowsy and she would lay them in the crib, and they would fuss a little, and once they started to get upset, she would pick them up, calm them, and lay them down again. If they got upset, she would calm, lay them down, and do the whole thing over and over. She wouldn't let them lie there and cry - she would continue to comfort them, and keep trying. She said it was 3 nights of a lot of work, but they eventually started putting themselves to sleep.
I haven't tried it, but I did think that suggestion sounded better than just leaving your baby alone to cry. I can't do it either.
this sounds similar to what we did - and it worked!
DD starts the night in her crib and usually ends up with us in bed. We rock her to sleep and then place her in her crib. When she wakes up at night, we move her to our bed. Slowly, but surely, she is starting to spend longer and longer nights in her crib. She doesn't STTN very often yet. But, when she does start STTN, then she will be in her crib. Last night/this morning, she didn't come to our bed until almost 6am. That was more or less so DH and I could get a bit more sleep. I went to her room a couple times before I went to bed and rubbed her back. But she never needed to be picked up. She is figuring it out. But, she is a cuddler so I think she'll need held/slept with a lot longer than most babies.
Crib training won't happen overnight. I would start slowly and see how LO adapts. No Cry Sleep Solution is a good book. I haven't used its techniques, but I have read it. I definitely wouldn't do CIO since your LO is so young.
I don't have any "been there done that" advice since DS still sleeps in bed with us at night, but I definitely understand what you mean about not wanting to try CIO. For a baby who's used to being cuddled back to sleep every time he wakes up during the night, it would be too harsh to leave him to comfort himself. When DS starts crying, he only gets more worked up if we don't comfort him right away, and I can't imagine listening to him scream long enough to fall asleep in exhaustion.
When we eventually transition him to his own bed I think we'll do it gradually, like putting him to sleep in his Amby or crib in our room and only taking him into bed with us when he needs to nurse.