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Postpartum Depression
Married2mybff
member
Don't know if this is the right place...
Married2mybff
member
...but I thought maybe you ladies would understand/empathize better than my regular board (3-6).
I get really overwhelmed with Evan. When he cries and nothing will pacify him, I don't know what to do. I try not to just put him down and let him cry, but many times it comes to that. I get so angry that he won't stop crying that I will put him in his crib and close the door and try to tune the crying out. I would never, ever hurt him. I've never even thought about it. However, I don't like getting this angry either. Like right now, for instance, I have a paper I need to be working on for school. I've spent all morning and afternoon trying to keep Evan occupied and not crying and I have a lot I need to get done but can't. So it makes me angry. Right this minute Evan is in his room screaming. I check on him every so often, but I can't hold him because it makes me even angrier that he won't stop crying. I think in my head alot "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" and sometimes I even say it to him. Then I scold myself for it. I feel like a horrible mother because of it. Getting help with him is not an option. When I'm home alone with him, i'm home alone with him. DH works FT and goes to school FT, so he always has things he needs to do when he's at home. So I'm the only one taking care of Evan 90% of the time. I guess I'd just like to know what you do with your LO's when you get overwhelmed or angry like that.
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Re: Don't know if this is the right place...
well my first thought is that you may have some other things going on outside of just being frustrated so I think you've come to the right place. Have you spoken to your OB about this?
I am lucky to have DH helping so when I'm overwhelmed I can say YOU take him. If he's at work I just try everything I can think of to get him to calm down and it usually works but if it wasnt working I'd be finding a support system to lean on. Any other moms in your neighborhood? Or family around? Maybe you could try taking a drive and see if the car ride calms your LO down? Most importantly you need to reach out to people around you to help, it really does take a village to raise a child. In the meantime, we're all here to chat and listen!
Momma Maven In The Making!
I'm a grad student and SAHM, so I totally get this. I'm with Shane 24/7, except for every 3rd weekend when I'm in school. He has been miserable lately with teething, and there are days when I don't think I can take one more second of him crying and wanting to be held.
As far as schoolwork, this is what I do:
When he won't setle down for a nap, I put my books and my laptop in the car. I got for a drive with him and he usually falls out in 5-10 minutes. I go back home and sit in my driveway, working on my schoolwork, until he wakes up again. It's helpful to me in more ways than one, because aside from keeping him asleep, there are no distractions in the car to keep me from my schoolwork.
God luck. There aren't many people who can do teh school thing with a baby, so don't bash yourself for how you are feeling. Instead, know that you are awesome for continuing on with school even when its so hard.