So here's my story and intro

farrellashleigh · December 2009

Copying this from our makeshift Yahoo board...

I apologize if it is redundant since I've been posting this info in the 0-3 board.

First here's the best website I've seen for explaining and being able to identify with the signs and symptoms of Post Partum Depression and Post Partum Anxiety (I had never even heard of PPA before?!) Like I said it breaks it down in "plain mama english" and was really helpful for me.

https://postpartumprogress.typepad.com/weblog/postpartum_anxiety/

Next bit of info that I was tipped off about by another Bumpie relates to medication, which I confirmed with my doctor. Reglan (generic, Metoclopromide) is often prescribed to help build up your milk supply. I started taking this along with my Fenugreek and all the other horse and pony show to build my supply. Well it turns out that one of the "possible" side effects of Reglan is depression!! YIKES!! I had no idea and it never even ocurred to me that my mood started tanking just a few days after being on the medication. Needless to say I'm no longer taking the Reglan and I wish someone had informed me of this ahead of time so I could've been more vigilent looking for problems.

And a little bit about my story. My LO is just shy of 4 weeks old, the first week and a half I was fine, hanging in there getting used to it all. On Thanksgiving I found the straw that broke the camel's back. My mood had been getting worse a few days prior and then making rounds to all of the families on turkey day just did me in. We ended up in the mountains with my DH's family at their mountain home to stay the weekend. DS had been having horrible gas which equalled horrible fussiness and no sleep for anyone, we had just switched his formula but it wasn't working yet. And the first night in the mountains was so bad I was begging DH to come home at 2 am!! He told me I was insane, that we weren't packing everything back up. UGH Long story short, I started having a melt down. I couldn't handle being out of our "routine" out of our "nest" at home. We did our best to replicate the home environment by bringing everything up to the mountains but it still wasn't the same. There were dogs barking, people slamming dishes, video games blaring, 7 adults, 6 dogs, complete and utter chaos and I LOST it. I was bawling by the following afternoon and told my DH that we HAD to go home which he finally relunctantly agreed to. And the next few days were just a downward spiral. I wasn't myself, constantly restless, wanted to get out of the house but had no motivation to do so, couldn't eat anything, bawling at the drop of a hat, no motivation to take care of my baby, it was BAD! The worst night I took 3 Advil PM and went to bed at 5:00 in the evening because I didn't know what else to do with myself, I was crawling out of my skin.

After this I decided to get in with my doctor asap, I was reading all of the PPD info and finally said "you know what, I think I may have it, I think I have more than just some "hormones" going on here" And my doctor has now put me on Zoloft, an anti depressant, taken me off of the Reglan, and I am feeling a LOT better just in the past 2 days of being on the medication. I'm so glad that I called and reached out! I still have bad periods of the day, when it gets dark is the worst because I start dreading the night feeling like it's an eternity. I have noticed that it helps if I have things to do during the day to keep me preocupied or just to get me up and moving. Even just having a doctors appointment to run to is something that takes up time and gets me out of the house so I'm going to try and keep scheduling little activities, lunch with parents, walks to the park, you name it because I think it helps. A little hard to do here with the snow season but we'll figure it out. So at this point I'm very optimistic and I think the best advice I have for anyone is first to REACH OUT, just talking about it helps, and second is to take it ONE.day.at.a.time... like my grandmother always told me "you can't eat an elephant in one bite" so you take it one bite at a time, sometimes I live by the hour just getting through that hour and then to the next.

Sorry to ramble on and on ladies but that's my story and I'm thankful for all of you here that are offering support because it really has helped me to have someone who understands to lean on.

beastmel04 · December 2009

THank you for your story! I have also noticed that just getting out at least 3x per week makes a huge difference! Seeing that there is a world of people beyond my own four walls means so much. Sometimes, DH will take ds and send me in to the grocery store for a few items. Just being able to pick up some milk and bread by myself is an incredible load off of my shoulders. I feel like I am an individual, instead of a food dispenser, diaper changer, and human pillow.

planeNsimple · December 2009

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I worry greatly about this as depression runs in my family (luckly I do not have any signs of having it but it is still worrisome). It is good to hear that anyone can go through this and people that have it are not alone. I wish all of the best for you and your LO!!!

kimsy · December 2009

I understand how you feel, and thanks for sharing your story. I have been getting very overwhelmed and feeling like I've lost myself somehow.

PPG, exercise was always my stress reliever, so H has started taking DD off my hands an hour or so a day so that I can get in some quiet exercise time. That seems to be helping, but if it doesn't continue to help I plan to talk to my doctor. I also agree with PP about getting out, even if it is just to the grocery.

tnpjuly04 · December 2009

I had PPD with DD#1 undiagnosed for 7 months - and what you describe could be me exactly. I let it get worse, though, didn't ask for help, didn't talk to anyone - I basically attributed it to me being a bad mother. It got to the point where I had my suicide planned out - and I thought that was totally, completely 100% normal. Thankfully, a friend of mine wouldn't let up that something was "off" about me and she helped me get help.

I think this board is a great idea. Many women are afraid to talk about PPD - I know I still feel very strange on these boards when I can see the signs of it in other women, and I want to reach out but don't.

Hang in there and if you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.

hipstrix · December 2009

Reglan triggered my PPD also. I was already on Welbutrin for lifelong depression, but the Reglan made it really ineffective and I had to stop taking Reglan (and stop BFing) and get on Lexapro and Atavan in addition to the Welbutrin.

I too wish my doc had been a little more vigilant before prescribing the Reglan for me. Once I had my "breakdown" everyone I talked to said, "You never should have taken Reglan given your history of depression." Gee, thanks.

TimsMayBride · December 2009

Thanks for sharing your story. That's interesting about Reglan. It happened to me with Mirena (and to my OB!) I wish the docs would be more careful with the meds and new moms. I've found tons of stories like mine on the web but it was never mentioned to me when I had it inserted.

farrellashleigh · December 2009

TimsMayBride:
Thanks for sharing your story. That's interesting about Reglan. It happened to me with Mirena (and to my OB!) I wish the docs would be more careful with the meds and new moms. I've found tons of stories like mine on the web but it was never mentioned to me when I had it inserted.

Oh no. I didn't know that Mirena had this possibility?? That was our BC choice that we were going to look into at the 6 week check... hmm I'm going to have to check into this more.

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