How do I say this nicely?

J+O · December 2009

My H's side of the family always eats after each other... like if my DS comes near them while they are eating, they try to feed him, and then feed the other children around them with a fork. It bugs the hell out of me! I do not want him catching a cold from ignorance on how germs are spread. I tried to say it nicely last time, "Oh so and so you don't need to feed him I'm making him a plate right now and H is getting the highchair ready..." and instead of getting the hint, she said, "Oh I don't mind, I'm finished anyways..." Ew... so I tried to redirect DS awhile I'm trying to get his food ready because they won't stop.

Should I just say, please do not feed him because of germs? Her kids all have runny noses and so does DS now, and I know it's from them. I'm just so pissed... it happens at every family event. And it's not just her... EVERYONE does it, my MIL, BIL, SIL.... etc.

It bothers H too and he straight up says... "Ew germs STOP!" lol... they laugh and keep doing it though even though he's serious. How would you handle this? I'm tried of him getting sick because of them.

byrne15 · December 2009

if it were me, i'd leave it up to dh to say something to them when it happens again. not in the ewww gross voice, but in a grown-up way because they don't seem to get the subtle approach ya know?

olivejuice127 · December 2009

I would just flat out say you don't like him eating after people, that is how he keeps getting sick. If you see it happening again. Remove him from the situation. Sometimes ya just gotta be a b!tch in order for people to get you.

Jessibell · December 2009

If he?s already tried to do it in a humorous way and failed, I would let him say it again, let them blow him off, and then you say nicely but firmly, ?No really guys, our pedi suggested not doing that as a way to stay healthy.?

jerzeygirl4ever · December 2009

I would just be honest (in a nice manner) and say look.... I'm a little bit worried about the germs/flu etc. Call me a dork or overprotective, but it really bothers me when you guys do that. Play it off on you being "that" kind of mom or something....

Sawyerplus1 · December 2009

That's a weird situation. I think if it were me I'd just always be sure to hold DS while his plate was prepared by myself or DH, put him in his highchair and sit right next to him, and do my best to be the only one feeding him. If that doesn't work, maybe you can bring a fork for him (one of his own) and hand it to anyone who's trying to feed him.

Serendipity* · December 2009

I would just tell them to stop. It's your DS so just say, "I would appreciate it if you wouldn't feed DS with the spoon/fork you used." You could add something in there about it being cold/flu season and you would prefer him not eat after someone else or something along those lines.

murphyec · December 2009

could you make sure DS is already in the high chair when dinner starts? Or if they do that hand them a new fork that is just DS's? Otherwise you just have to be the *** and tell them it is not acceptable.

philosoraptor · December 2009

We have this same problem with my two boys. But DS1 is nearly 4 and it has become a semi-serious problem because he WON'T eat his own food any more. He takes food from everyone else's plates everywhere we go - including preschool. So I now tell everyone that DSs are not allowed to have anyone else's food because they need to learn to eat what they are served on their own plates. And I tell them that DS1 has gotten in trouble for taking others' food at school.

Leave the germ crap out of it.

secuccaro · December 2009

I would say something, and I probably wouldn't be too nice about it. I personally find that pretty disgusting and it is a great way to spread germs.

J&A2008 · December 2009

Let your H be the big meanie. Since you've already tried the nice, funny, gentle reminder about germs, how about saying:

"It's like you're sneezing in his face when you feed him off your fork. Please stop. We have plenty of forks."

mrs.magoo · December 2009

I would probably say something like:

"Oh, now Jack, we don't eat food from other people's plates/forks, that is how germs are spread and we get sick..." and then try to remove him from the situation/guide him away from people's plates...

I asked my 6 yr. old nephew if he wanted to try some pie on my plate (you know, on a part I had not touched and with his fork) before he asked for a piece himself and he said "No thank you, that's how germs are spread!" I was impressed!

exhausted_bride · December 2009

Ummmm "please don't feed my son with your fork because of germs..."

?????

jen_k2 · December 2009

"We're really trying to teach DC not to eat off of other people's plates. And we don't want him spreading any germs to you guys." Kind of reverse psych;)

MrsEmm · December 2009

we struggle with the same thing!! My MIL even said recently "oh i dont BELIEVE in that!" .... ummmm, 'scuse me?? You dont believe in the science of germs? Nice! thats why you guys are always sick & passing sh!t back & forth!!!! (sorry now Im venting too :P )

vanillacourage · December 2009

Stop letting your DS run around when they are eating. Get him situated first, or have your DH hold him while you make his plate (or vice versa).

If they come near him, just say nicely but firmly "it's cold and flu season. That looks yummy but please don't feed DS with your fork."

elevendiamonds · December 2009

You are his parents. Tell them to stop. Either one of you. Be the advocate.

Personally though, this isn't an issue I would press on about. But this your comfort level.

mattanddiana · December 2009

Maybe you could bring a toddler fork and tell people you are trying to teach him to feed himself. Then they can feed him whatever (you are okay with) but he's using his own fork. Ask for their help encouraging him to eat with a fork.

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