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Working Moms
YellowBride
member
Working moms: how is your marriage?
YellowBride
member
in Working Moms
Just curious how everyone's marriages are holding up under the strain of being working parents!
-How much time do you spend together each week?
-How often do you get a date night alone?
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often?
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly?
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Working moms: how is your marriage?
I will answer my own poll:
-How much time do you spend together each week? Most nights we spend together after work and after the kids go to bed although I go to bed earlier than DH. And he often falls asleep on the couch!
-How often do you get a date night alone? Maybe once every couple months I'd say.
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? I do maybe once or twice a month. DH does more often - 1 to 2 times per week he plays sports or watches a game or something.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? Pretty much, we have a housecleaner so that helps. He takes care of laundry and I do dishes/cooking. I do think the child care decisions (buying things, signing up for things, food choices, potty training, etc.) are more up to me, but he spends time with them a lot.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? Yes and no. I feel like he is a great father and we have great family time, but I do think our one on one time could be improved. I am just so tired that it's hard to really make the effort sometimes.
-How much time do you spend together each week?
Not sure. We eat dinner together as a family every night, we talk to each other every night and sometimes we watch our shows together.
-How often do you get a date night alone?
A couple times a month
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often?
I go out alone a couple times a month. DH plays hockey 2 times a week and will sometimes go out with friends 1-2 other times a month. In the summer he is out on the lake fishing in the early am and will go out skiing for a couple hours each weekend.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly?
I wouldn't say we split evenly, but we split them in a way that makes us happy.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage?
Very happy, but it's taken some time for us to get here. Becoming a parent, and especially a working parent, was a big adjustment for us.
-How much time do you spend together each week? After the babies get to bed (around 8 pm) - we watch a show and then the news - chatting in between.
-How often do you get a date night alone? Once a month if we're lucky.
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? Before I got pregnant I would go out with my sister about 1-2 a month. DH goes to play poker with some friends more than I'd like (almost about once a week).
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? We have a cleaning lady that comes every other week. I do laundry, he'll clean the kitchen and cook most days. We split the child care - he helps me dress them, change them, etc...
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage I feel neglected often because he has his online chess games, and TV - he refuses to give this up and I feel it takes away from my quality time with him. We also have a very emotional 15 year old (my step son) living with us so this adds to the chaos.
-How much time do you spend together each week? we have set date nights - Wed and Sat. A lot of these are at home, after the girls go to sleep. We spend a few hours talking, watching movies, playing games - whatever. Other than that - we make most weekends family time so its not just us but us and the kids and we often spend at least 15 mins a night, after the girls are in bed talking, doing short massages or whatever to just connect before we do all the other things we need to do.
-How often do you get a date night alone? We go out at least once a month - see above for more details
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? DH has a monthly poker group and I have a monthly book group. Other than that, it varies.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? Pretty much. At times I do more and at other times, DH does more. I do more of the child care planning stuff and DH does almost all the cooking. We have a cleaning person but we both help with the upkeep.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? For the most part. We have had some rough spots but as the kids get older, we can find more time for us again and we are getting more sleep so that also helps. We make sure to talk often and keep the lines of communication open which is huge for us.
great poll!
-How much time do you spend together each week? not enough. we watch tv together a few nights a week
-How often do you get a date night alone? since the baby was born (5 months ago), we've gone out twice alone and it was running errands and rushed, not a relaxing night out to enjoy
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? my hubby really doesn't. I will get a pedicure or have lunch w a friend maybe 2x a month
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? definitely, he does more housework and I do more childcare though.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? not really, I love my husband but I miss spending time with him
-How much time do you spend together each week? He has school two nights a week and I work one late night a week but the other nights we are together. We watch TV, dinner, go to bed at the same time. Once we are both home we do about everything together
-How often do you get a date night alone? We try once a month
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? I go out with friends about once a month, DH maybe once every other month. We go out with friends together once a month too
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? I do alot more than DH but he does help out
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? Yup, we let each one know when we are not happy and talk about it.
-How much time do you spend together each week? We spend a good bit of time together...but alone time together is a different story.
-How often do you get a date night alone? I can count on one hand the number of time that we have gone out without DD.
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? Yes, we each go out with friends about once or twice a month.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? Somewhat. For a long time I was doing most of the household chores in addition to taking care of DD. After a few blow out arguements DH started helping a lot more. Last month DH was laid off so now he is doing most of the housework durring the day and we split childcare duties at night.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? Depends on the day. We are not like we used to be but we both love each other and are commited to our marriage and to DD. This past year has put a lot of stress on our marriage but we are working to get back to "normal" and we have made a commitment to making our marriage work. It's hard but we will get there eventually.
How much time do you spend together each week? DD goes to bed around 7:15 p.m. so we're usually together alone in the house after that, but not always in the same room. We do try to eat dinner together, though.
-How often do you get a date night alone? Two or three times a month. We made it a priority before DD was born and have stuck with it pretty well.
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? I do more than DH does. We are both involved in some local organizations with night meetings so that accounts for some of our "out alone" time. This is a busy week for me - I have meetings the next two nights and we are going to my work holiday party together Friday.
Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? Absolutely. We have a housekeeper which helps a lot. DH does all the outside stuff and is very hands-on with DD. In actuality, he may do more than I do!
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? Overall, yes. We're both pretty busy and exhausted by the end of the day, though. Once DD is in bed, I just want to watch TV and relax. We could probably make better use of that "quality time" in the evenings, but hopefully things will get a little better once she's older and more independent.
-How much time do you spend together each week? Friday though Sunday. DH works out of town 4 days a week so we are just together on the weekends
-How often do you get a date night alone? We try and get along time every weekend. One of my parents will watch DD so we can go shopping together or to dinner. Not always a date but it is alone time.
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? Me rarely, once in awhile on a weekend when Dh is home I will. Dh doesn't often either, maybe once a month but hes alone all week and can do his own thing then.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? soemwhat I have to handle all chores during the week but Dh will help do our big cleaning on the weekends and he does all the laundry
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? I am very happy with our marriage some days are tougher then others taking care of DD alone all week but we are used to how things are now and it just works for us. We are hoping that DH can transfer closer in the next year so hopefully things will get even better
-How much time do you spend together each week?
We are pretty much together ALL THE TIME from Friday night to Monday morning. DH does work out of town Monday - Friday so we are inseperable over the weekends.
-How often do you get a date night alone?
We have tons of family that can watch the kids. We go out just the two of us at least once a month, sometimes a night every weekend.
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often?
Since DH is gone during the week I can use that time to see friends, chat with them, etc. but for the most part I only make plans to see my friends for a special occasion or something. Same goes for him. Our friends also lead busy lives so its not a big priority like when we were younger. We do tend to do couple stuff w friends that have kids so its a group thing.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly?
Yes and No. I do most of the stuff cause I am anal and want things done my way. So, when I clean he helps watch the kids.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage?
I wish DH worked in the same city where we live so he was not gone during the week but his type of work is very demanding and he often is in the office till late at night so as long as I get him all weekend and on holidays and important days, then I am happy. It may sound harsh that I dont mind seeing my husband during the week but I see it more as a compromise. He loves his job and it pays the bills. Asking him to take on another job may mean he is not as happy and eventually things will settle where we will be able to take family vacations more often and do stuff like that to have real quality time.How much time do you spend together each week? We are together after we get dd's to bed at 6:30PM...we almost always do dinner together every weeknight...
-How often do you get a date night alone? I don't think we have been out since our anniversary in august...but we are going to start tring to make an effort to get out on a date at least once a month going forward...
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? both of us - hardly ever...maybe once every other month...
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? Pretty much...dh does almost all the outdoor work and we pretty much split the house stuff...I do most of the childcare stuff like prepping for the day and getting them ready to head out of the house...
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? eh...we have good days and bad days...I love my dh and we are working on making things "better"...like getting in date night and each getting a little alone time each week...
-How much time do you spend together each week? Every night after DD is in bed for a couple hours, then the weekend.
-How often do you get a date night alone? Every few months, but that is by choice. We have no shortage of volunteer babysitters, but we choose to stay home and hang out as a family.
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? Yes, we go out alone to shop, run errands, etc. As far as going "out" like to bars, we do occasionally, but the idea of drinking when your baby still wakes up at night and you have to get up early has really lost a lot of appeal.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? Yes.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? I am very happy with it. I wish I wasn't so tired so I would have more energy, but this stage (waking up for night feedings) is coming to an end.
-How often do you get a date night alone? It varies. We don't have family so it is a big deal to get a sitter and go out. Mostly once per month.
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? I do all the time and he really doesn't. He surfs on the weekend. That's his going out.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? No. I do the majority but I'm not bitter about it. I'm slowly having him do more and more but he does SO much childcare so it is pretty even.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? very much!
-How much time do you spend together each week?
Every evening from about 7:30 to 10 pm and all weekend long
-How often do you get a date night alone?
Once a month or so
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often?
We both do it about once a month.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly?
Pretty evenly. We have a house cleaner, so that helps a lot. I do the laundry and he does the cooking/dishes. We split the child care duties very evenly, I am happy to say.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage?
Overall, I am very happy. I have been really tired lately since I am in my first trimester with our second child, and am feeling kind of sad lately that we can't do anything fun and I feel like crap. But this is just a phase.
He is my closest friend and a great husband and father.
-How much time do you spend together each week?
probably 1 hr every night, since DD goes to bed at 7:30 and we eat dinner together.
-How often do you get a date night alone?
almost never, though we probably will do that more now that DD is less fussy and we found a great sitter
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often?
occaisionally-- usually 1-2 hrs on the weekend. Lately DH has been asking to paint for 3 hrs on the weekend for his alone-time. I have me-time on my lunch break or after DD goes to bed.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly?
no. I do a lot more than him, but arguing about it doesn't help. I'd say this is one area where I'm unhappy, but don't really know how to change. He plays with DD a lot, but when it comes to getting her ready for school, bed, etc. it is mama. He cooks some, but I generally do almost all of the cleaning, dishes, laundry, etc. We got a roomba and he does clean that. He's supposed to mow, but I don't think he's done that since September.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage?
Overall yes. But I'm having a down day-- since my BFP I realize I can't keep this up like I am if we have a second so close. He's really going to have to step up.-How much time do you spend together each week? We spend lots of time together, but usually with DD. Time just the two of us, probably an hour before bed.
-How often do you get a date night alone? Every couple of months
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? Hardly ever.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? Yup, we both work hard.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? Most days, yes. Occasionally his little quirks drive me crazy though.
-How much time do you spend together each week? Have dinner every night together unless something special is going on, hang out at night after I put DD down watching t.v./laying low.
-How often do you get a date night alone? Great question- maybe once every couple/few months?
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? I'm kind of a homebody and don't usually feel the need to go out on my own- basically all of our friends have small children as well so there's usually no one available! But I have fun with the girls at book club,etc. So that's at least once/twice per month? Dh goes out w/ buddies every week/couple of weeks. Then he also has his hunting/coaching lacrosse, etc. I so think it's really healthy to have time apart so we have our own lives going on (of course, as long as we're spending time together as well!)
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? I'm spoiled and we're able to have a house cleaner who comes every other week. She's a life saver! DH watched me try to clean every weekend for a few months and said we just had to have a cleaner. He drops DD off maybe once per week, but our daycare is a couple of blocks away and then my office is a couple of blocks in the other direction. So I definitely don't mind doing drop-offs/pick-ups. For evenings I do dinner, bath, bed, and then on the weekends DH is a sweetie about sometimes taking DD on errands, staying home during naps so I can get to the gym, etc. He's an awesome daddy and he & DD are little buddies.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? Totally! I feel lucky to be able to say that. Of course, there are always ups/downs, but I think it helps that we met in college so we kinda grew up together through some of the big phases of our lives. Through the "downs" I always know that we'll work it out and get through the tough times. I'm always excited to see what we have in front of us! I think we're at a really fun time in our lives together.
Just curious how everyone's marriages are holding up under the strain of being working parents!
-How much time do you spend together each week?We put DS to bed together, he sings, I rock and then we spend about 1-2 hours watching TV or relaxing together. We also spend 90% of the time on the weekends together.
-How often do you get a date night alone? We are just starting to do this, since DS is only 4 months, but our goal is one per month. We have had two this month, but one is a Christmas party for work.
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? I do something for myself at least once per week. It is usually a yoga class with my mom or a shopping trip, hair appt. etc. I go out with the girls about once a month for drinks. DH has soccer once a week and various activities, I would say he goes out alone at least twice per week.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? We are pretty even on this. I do more of the week to week chores like grocery shopping etc, but he takes on the bigger projects such as house renovations and yard work.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? Yes, so far having a LO has brought us closer and we have become more of a team. It is definitely different, and stressful at times, but we are doing pretty well!
We spend most of our non-work time together, even if it is running around the house doing chores
Date night? What is that? LOL, wish we had more. We have a date night this weekend and we are beside ourselves, we can't chose what to do!
I am too tired to care about going out with friends, most of my close friends are too far away to see on a regular basis. But if someone is in town for a few days, I do try to get together. DH has local friends and will go out occasionally after LO is asleep for the night.
Absolutely! (maybe my husband would disagree? he does a lot for the house)
Yes, we have gotten into the swing of things and spend weekends running errands as a family, I guess right now that is 'our time'
I am surprised how happy we are given the demanding schedule!
-How much time do you spend together each week?
An hour or so in the evenings after DS goes to be. About an hour together w/DS. Weekends that we are home as much as possible, travel weekends (visiting our families) not so much.
-How often do you get a date night alone? Every other month
-Do you go out alone (with friends, etc.)? Does DH? How often? Maybe every other month. DH played softball this summer/fall so he had weekly outings.
-Do you think you split the chores and child care fairly? Not really. DH does the outside stuff and some inside but will do this while I take care of DS. My chores are mainly inside chores so I don't 'get' time w/o DS to do these things (which makes it impossible). This summer was nuts with constant travel so we had no weekends to catch up - I broke down and hired a cleaning person this fall which has helped but we still have plenty to do every night with laundry, daycare prep (food/bottles), dinner, toys and maintaining the clutter piles.
-Are you happy with how things are going in your marriage? Honestly right now we are struggling. We're both over tired, remodeling the basement (which takes more DH time and puts more childcare/housecare on me), normal work stress with a possible layoff for me, crazy expectations but little support from his family and just the general stuff. I want to enjoy our time as a family but it seems like we have a hard time doing that with little couple time and little quality family time due to work/extended family/life. I am taking some extra time off during the holidays so I'm hoping that will help us both.