Stay at Home Moms
Baby Wise Method, did you use it?
I have been reading the book and I'm thinking about giving it a try. I was wondering if anyone has used it, and if so did you have success with it? Anything that you would do different? Any information that you have would be great.
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Re: Baby Wise Method, did you use it?
I'll probably get flamed for this, but yes, I used BabyWise, and I highly recommend a loose version of it. Some people say it tells you to starve your child, etc, but most of those people didn't make it past the first chapter.
I put DD on a loose version of BabyWise at 6weeks because she had her days and nights mixed up. By 8weeks she was STTN. Having her STTN was not the reason why I read BabyWise, it just happened to be a product of it. I simply used it as a way to get her on some sort of a schedule so I could function.
She was already on a 3 hour feeding schedule, so that did not change when I started BabyWise. The only thing that BabyWise really taught me was to try giving a paci instead of a bottle at one night feeding. I quickly realized that I was actually waking DD up to feed, when all she really wanted was her paci. Over 2 weeks, I was able to drop both middle of the night feedings so she would get her last bottle at 10p and her first at 5a. It also really helped DD know what to expect during the day regarding naps, etc. and I didn't feel so unorganized as a new mom. Good luck!
Thank you for this information. It was recommended to me by two mothers who both have 3 children and have used it with them with great success. I'm just trying to get some other perspectives.
From reading the book I'm understanding that it is more of a routine instead of a schedule.
I do a loose version of it but we still feed at night when they cry.
JDB, stupid question but how do you know your DD just wanted a paci? I guess if she still screamed she was hungry. My twins wake up screaming so we rush to get the bottle. We have hesitated to try a paci because it just seems like they are crying so hard, they must be hungry....
Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09
Claire Zoe, 10.26.10
The thing I like is the E-A-S-Y schedule. Eat, Activity, Sleep, You. It gives structure to the day. Feed baby, activity/play during alert time, they take a nap, then you have you time.
We feed every 3 hours during the day except at night when we wait for a cue. If it gets too much off schedule I attempt to get them back on but slowly we have built a pretty good routine/schedule.
Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09
Claire Zoe, 10.26.10
No schedule for us at all in the beginning. I EBF'd and fed on demand. DD was happy and healthy and started STTN at four months on her own, without me "tricking her" into doing it. For the most part she STTN 12 hours every night, but once in a while she goes through a spurt where she gets up once or twice a night for about a week. I feed her (bottles now) and put her back to bed.
Babies under six months are just trying to survive and figure out the world. They need love, food and comfort, sometimes around the clock. If I were you I would just enjoy this time, as sleep-deprived as you may be, and know that it will fly by in the blink of an eye. There is no need to train anyone for a long time. Just be with your baby.
I HATE this method. I really do. I read the ENTIRE book and tried it with DD#2. She gained ONLY 1 ounce in one month because I had her on this schedule. She did have "failure to thrive".
Also, this book recommends CIO for newborns. There's an entire chapter devoted to it. I found this very harsh.
The author is a pastor with no medical background and really tries to push his ministry. Because of all the backlash that the book had gotten, he "added" a collaborating author who is an M.D. The AAP doesn't support this book at all and the Church he was a part of wants nothing to do with Babywise.
I find that it really only works with formula fed babies. It's really hard to drop feedings in BF babies when they are young, and so you need to feed on demand. Babywise is more of a "parent-led" than "baby-led" schedule.
I'm pretty sure I tossed my book in the garbage. LOL! I went back to on-demand nursing and let my kids tell me when they were ready to eat and sleep.
ETA: I am also not a pacifier-mom. None of my kids have pacifiers, so this method was really hard for me to do. I only know a few people that have been successful with this method, and they FF and use pacis.....
Not a stupid question at all. She would wake up screaming, but settle down as soon as I picked her up and started rocking her. Her night feedings were always sluggish. She would suck a little, then fall back asleep, and it was almost like I was forcing her to eat, even though she woke up crying. She never finished her bottles during her night feedings. So I decided to try giving her the paci instead of the bottle during her first night feeding, and she fell right back asleep. Eventually she started doing this with her 2nd night feeding, so I started giving her paci, and the same thing. She dropped her own night feedings. She also stopped needing me to rock her back to sleep and started to learn how to self soothe on her own (we did not use any CIO method). She would wake up in the middle of the night because she had spit out her paci. I'd give it back and that was it.
To some of the other posters, I don't know, I understand some people have very stong feelings against BabyWise, but the "failure to thrive" thing really irritates me. No responsible parent is going to starve their child, especially if they are offering a bottle and the baby refuses to take it. That, to me, means they aren't hungry, and has nothing to do with BabyWise. Anyone who doesn't feed their child when they are hungry just because a book tells them not to has to take some personal responsibility for that. Just my honest opinion.
To the OP, ultimately you have to do what is best for you and your child, and what you feel comfortable with. I know several women who have used BabyWise, along with their mother's intuition, and they effectively set up a routine for them and their child.
You are forcing your baby on a specific schedule when you do babywise. I never starved my daughter when I did this (I don't give bottles, I only nurse). I only tried it for a month and it backfired on me. And yes, she had failure to thrive because she wasn't nursing at the times "she" wanted. She was nursing at the times "I" wanted. So, she would nurse, but would not nurse enough because she was not as hungry at that specific time. If she was screaming/unconsolable, then I would nurse her more, but I used a pacifier in between to soothe her.
DD#2 is easygoing so she never got hysterical because she was hungry. I just wasn't nursing her enough. And she was using a lot of energy sucking on her pacifier to top it off.
The next month, I followed "her" cues and we were MUCH better for it. She nursed when she wanted, and slept when she wanted. And gained a good amount of weight that month. And it wasn't every 3 hours - sometimes it was every 2, sometimes she would cluster feed.
And yes, I take full responsibility for trying this method and following it the way it was intended to be followed. I discovered that I do NOT like this approach at all, and it was not for me and my family.
We stayed away from this book, so I admit I can't give you an informed opinion on it. All I can say is that DH's cousin, who is an obstetrician, used it on DD#1, and was very strict about it, and the results were BAD. She had (and still has) weight problems. They abandoned the method for their other 3 kids.
Personally, I think the first three months should be as go-with-the-flow as possible. See what your baby is like and what she needs. Nurturing her and responding to her needs is what's most important. You can impose some order on your and her life later on when you've got the hang of basic parenting.
i really dont like the eat-play-sleep system. most babies, key word - most, not all, play-eat-sleep because eating tends to make babies sleepy,so they naturally doze off and want to nap, and they nap longer because they are fed. then when they wake up, they are rested and ready to play, not hungry and cranky and needing another nap.
just my personal opinion (and experience - i had a babywise baby in my classroom)
when i was working at the daycare, we had two babywise babies in our nursery at that time. it was kind of a nighmare to be honest. they didn't sleep as well or as long as babies their ages (12-16 weeks or so) should. they were always grouchy and sad. one little girl would cry and cry - nothing helped and i honestly believe that it had to do with her not trusting her own body cues because she was always being "forced" to do what her parents/caregivers thought she needed to do at that time. for instance, if she was crying and you fed her, she wouldn't always register that that what what her problem was because she was also being fed at times that she wasn't hungry. does that even make sense? they were both really unhappy babies. it was sad.
also, correct me if i am wrong, but one of the babywise things that was hard for me (along with the part where you hold off feeding until the "right" time) was that when you fed the kid, they had to take and ENTIRE feeding at that time - a now or never kind of thing, whether they wanted it or not... i think they didn't know when they were hungry or full or what end was even up! it was just not natural IMO.
on an interesting note, in our older kids group we had another child that had been with us since she was a baby (now in kindergarten) and she was a "babywise baby" also. this little girl had weight issues in the other direction (actually so did the two babies i mentioned above) and she was OVER weight. she would scarf down all of her lunck and aske for seconds and cry when she didn't get more. i think that this had something to do with the fact that as an infant, she was force fed the entire bottle, full or not. her switch for feeling full was no longer working, and i personally blame the babywise thing for it. it goes back to "training" your baby not to trust his or her own body - whether it is for sleeping or eating or whatever.
this is all just my opinion, but i will be steering clear of the babywise thing with hayden. it broke my heart how unhappy those babies were and that they didn't know what to do with their own messages from their bodies. just some thoughts....
TOTALLY agree. I read the book (from the library) and it wasn't for me- so i didn't bother trying it with my DD. she isn't a paci and got BM the entire first year. I have ALWAYS listened to my DD and followed her lead. she fell into her own routine VERY young and i followed that.
do what you think- what is right for one, isn't right for another.