help please. experience with alzheimer's/assisted living?

jc&cat · December 2009

I hope I can count on your help girls. My family is making a very difficult decision regarding long term care of my Dad suffering with dementia. If anyone works in assisted living or has experience with researching assisted living options, please respond (particulary with dementia or Alzheimer's). I am starting research on this today and I really don't know where to start in developing questions and criteria for facilities. Obviously we are all over the country/world but any advice you can provide from experience would be very valuable to me. This is so freakin hard.

We have done our best to keep him in his home for as long as possible however we need to start thinking of a plan b for his own health and saftey.

EuroChick · December 2009

This may not help but if you are Jewish you should contact your local Jewish family services, they can guide you about finding appropriate assisted living. The social workers are really excellent. In fact they will even help you if you aren't Jewish, I think. I know about this because my mother used to do this. I would look up your local office and place a call they may be able to refer you to someone to help. Perhaps other relgious groups do something similar too.

Gina418 · December 2009

I'm so sorry - I know how tough this is. My grandmother (who I lived with) had dementia, my grandfather, alzheimers. Honestly, assisted living was not the answer for them - they could not remember if they ate, they walked away from lit stoves, etc. The best option was a full-time nursing home for both of them. Call the homes local in your area - some of them specialize in only caring for alzheimer/dementia patients, others are just a general population type of home.

The home my grandfather was in specialized in alzheimer patients - it was a great fit. They kept the patients active - as most of them were physically ok, just not mentally ok.

The home my grandmother was in was a general population home. We were not happy with the level of care she was being given - and many of the patients were bed-bound which meant it wasn't really a good environment for anyone who had their physical capailities. She passed before we could find a new place forher.

It's very hard - there was a lot of crying and guilt in the beginning. But we knew we had to do it.

PM me if you ever want to talk.

Good luck to you.

lmdbww · December 2009

Where do you live outside of Philly? There are a few in my area (ABE area) that are pretty good... My grandpop had Alzheimers and was in more of a hospital setting because of other health issues, but there are other choices that I can let you know of. PM me if you want...

KittyCatBio · December 2009

I can't help you with research criteria or any of that, but will tell you that visiting the place and getting to know the people that will look after your Dad is pretty much key. My mom has run an Alzheimer's ward for years (social side, not medical) at a nursing home and she loves her residents. You want to know how their day is structured. Most of these places have volunteer services, you might want to volunteer at a couple you are considering for the day to see how things are running.

BecauseICan · December 2009

First of all, let me offer you some hugs. I know this is SO difficult and hard to go through, as I've been there myself 3 times. Alzheimer's is a brutal and cruel disease for both those that suffer from it and their families. My heart goes out to you.

**One of the biggest concerns for some Alzheimer's patients is escaping and wandering--so I'd definitely make sure they have a really good alarm system. One of my grandma's was known for testing that alarm multiple times a day. W/O it we would've lost her for sure.

**If they offer activities/tasks that he is familiar with and enjoys.

**Ask about their daily routine.

**If there is time for him to be outside

**How many levels of care they have and how they are organized (are all of the high level patients in one wing, etc.)

**If he will have a roommate and how that will be handled--one of my grandma's roommates really struggled to stay in her own space, and we had to have her moved as a result.

**What the monthly fee includes, and if there are any additional payments required for other activities, food, cleaning, etc. We got sent a bill for cleaning my grandma's chair when she developed an incontinence problem.

**How many nurses and aides are scheduled on one shift, and if a particular nurse will be assigned to him.

I hope that helps. If I think of some more, I'll come back and edit this list. I hope you're able to find him a comfortable place to stay. You're doing the right thing.

ETA: The Alzheimer's Association has some good resources about this too, as well as message boards and a live phone chat service if you have any questions, or just need to talk. https://www.alz.org/living_with_alzheimers_choosing_care_providers.asp#3

Sweetsparkles · December 2009

I am a Community Relations Director for an assisted living facility and we have one Dementia/Alzheimer's home. I love my job and I love the residents that live there. My job is really to educate the physicians, disharge planners, social workers about our options (not necessarily meet with the families) but I do tour our facility with family members once initial contact is made with our housing director.

My email address is little d little @ gmail.com if you or to chat.

I think an Alzheimer's type home is the best option for your father since the caregivers are all specialized in this type of disease.

And a nursing home is an option too--but if your father does not need 24/7 nursing care, an assisted living facility is much more affordable.

JillStar · December 2009

I don't have any concrete advice, but I just wanted to say that I understand how difficult that process can be. My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 10 years ago and my mom and grandfather went through the same process of trying to keep her at home as long as possible, but ultimately had to move her to an assisted living facitily when it became necessary for her own safety. I was not involved in the process of selecting the assisted living facility she went into, but I'm happy to talk to my mom about it and send you pm later today or tomorrow if that would be helpful to you. Good luck with everything.

AmyDrinkie · December 2009

Yes, my grandmother lived in assisted living and then Alzheimer's care during her last 4 or 5yrs. My SIL works at an assisted living facility as well; I think she's the activities coordinator or something like that. If you'd like to talk privately you can PM me or email amydrinkwater at att dot net.

It is hard; watching my grandmother's disease progress was THE most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with. I'm sorry you're going through this.

jc&cat · December 2009

You girls are so amazing. Thank you for offering your support and email and hugs. I will be in touch in the next few days (at work now so not so much time free). I appreciate this so much. thank you!!

abbie612 · December 2009

I can't post on the board about this topic, as my wonderful Dad just passed away due to complications of alzheimers one month ago at the age of 60. However, we learned some lessons about placements and such and I can share what I learned with you offline if you'd like. You can email babyitems4salect@gmail.com and then I'll reply from my personal gmail account.

So sorry you're going through this...

Erica

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