I don't know where I belong

pennynjon · November 2009

This is my first time posting on this board. My baby is alive right now. I usually post on 2nd tri. I am 17w4days today. I found out last wednesday during my first us that my baby has anencephaly. I am waiting on a phone call from my doctor today. He is setting up an appt. with a specialist a couple of hours away. But he is confident in his diagnosis. My baby was moving all around on us and had hr of 165. If it is anencephaly my baby will die during childbirth or shortly after. I won't abort the baby. I can't do that. I get on the second tri boeard and get angry or sad. I read all of the posts about nursery decor, us photos, etc. Don't get me wrong...I was posting the same things 5 days ago. Life is so unfair.

Sonadora · November 2009

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Scout05 · November 2009

I am very sorry for what you are going through, and please feel like you can seek support here. The women here are loving and amazing. I pray the doc is wrong, and all will be well with your LO.

As an FYI, though, I elected to end my pregnancy due to severe genetic problems with my darling baby. There are others here in the same situation. We all have to do what we think is right - but I did not "abort" my baby. Just as a head's up with word selection, especially THAT word.

Again, I am so, so sorry.

grr_aargh · November 2009

I'm so sorry to hear this news. And sorry for your impending loss.

Temp950106187509203 · November 2009

I'm so sorry you're being faced with such tragic news. I hope you can find some comfort here. I also hope that you're blessed with at least a few beautiful moments with your baby, if you decide to carry to term. There's no judgment here, and I hope no one who made a different decision for her baby thinks I'm judging her, but I think a choice to carry your baby in spite of such a diagnosis is such a noble thing. {{hugs}} You and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers.

There are a lot of blogs out there from moms who are or were in your situation. One that is really sweet (I think, anyway) is https://babyfaithhope.blogspot.com/. Her baby lived for about 3 months after birth. She started the blog pretty soon after her diagnosis at 19 weeks. WARNING - Lots of baby pictures, and the blogger is coming from a Christian perspective. I don't want to give a link that is going to make anyone sad or upset or make anyone feel judged, because that is SO not how any of it is meant, so please use caution in following the link.

fit4ever1379 · November 2009

I will say a prayer.

MSC03 · November 2009

I'm so sorry to hear of your baby's diagnosis.

A girl in my local support group got the same diagnosis at 18 weeks and was dead-set against abortion, but unfortunately through some bad advice from her doctor, was told that it was her only option. In the state of Ohio, she could have been induced at 20 weeks, allowed to labor, deliver, and say goodbye to her baby. Unfortunately, she didn't have access to this information and had an awful experience with an abortion clinic that I'm sure will haunt her forever.

Just wanted to point out (in case no one else has) that labor and delivery may be an option for you.

As someone who chose L&D to allow my daughter to pass, you will hear no judgement either way from me. ((HUGS))

ala_1220 · November 2009

I am so, so sorry you are having to go through this!!! I can't imagine.

I am a pediatric and neonatal intensive care nurse. I will never forget one of my patients and her family. I don't remember exactly how old this little baby was, but to be admitted into the PICU vs the NICU, you have to be over 30 days old. She was a beautiful baby girl with no other physical abnormalities and her parents got to spend some quality time with her.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

madladybride · December 2009

I'm sorry to hear about this. I also ended a pregnancy with a poor -prenatal diagnosis. It was technically an induced miscarriage. I don't call it an abortion because it's not like we didn't want a child, or that I was irresponsible in getting pregnant. Basically, I was induced.

For boards that may be more what you are looking for, I'd suggest babycenter.com They have a "Poor Prenatal Diagnosis" board.

Good luck and I'm sorry this has happened to you.

pennynjon · December 2009

I am sorry about using the word abortion in my post. I didn't mean to offend anyone. It honestly didn't even cross my mind that it would when I typed it. I don't judge anyone who has been through this for whatever decision they made. I feel like it is just as difficult either way, and not fair that anyone has to make that decision at all.

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