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Please help calm me down
I just got off the phone with Dr. Vaughn's office and they gave me my protocol. Basically if my next cycle starts around Dec. 14th then we will have retrieval sometime in the 3rd week of January and transfer 5 days later. I called DH excited and he proceeds to tell me that we can't do it because he has trade shows those weeks. Are you Fing kidding me???? You want us to put this off because of trade shows?? I'm literally crying I'm so mad and upset about this. I can't believe that he is expecting us to delay this even more instead of just not going to damm trade show. We have no idea what might happen to my insurance should this new healthcare stuff happen and we have no business putting this off any longer than it already has been put off. If I loose myinsurance then we can't do the IVF at all. Period. Done. And here he is trying to put it off and thinks that I'm being unreasonable to expect him to not go to his trade shows. I get that it is important, but really, what could possibly be more important than IVF right now?
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Re: Please help calm me down
Calm down. (Only saying because you asked!!)
Wait until DH gets home, sit down and have a conversation about it. I've learned trying to get the answers I want from DH when he's at work are next to impossible.
Are there consequences he's concerned about if he misses these shows? Are they a once a year deal?
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Surely he was just caught off guard and blurted out his first reaction. Give him some time and then go back with, "how are we going to work this schedule since our retrieval is Jan 20-24 (or whatever)". Come up with a suggestion of how he can fly back for the appt or something else. Just tell him what he needs to do.
{{hugs}} for having to deal with that, but AWESOME news on the rest of it!!
ditto Emer...and good luck!! That's great news!
and ditto what everyone else said. it will be ok. you will have a calm, rational discussion with your DH when he gets home.....
more ((((hugs))))
ditto this.
And then kick him in the nuts if he doesn't see things your way.
Oh wait. You need those nuts.
Give him an IOU for post IVF nut-kicking.
^LOL
In through the nose, out through the mouth. You can make this happen. You've conquered much more already.
Can you go with him?
You can work this out. Maybe Dr. V. is willing to kick start your cycle early. Maybe your DH can fly home for a quick "donation".
Talk to him when he gets home. You can do this!
Ditto all the pp's and I just want to add, that my DH is NOTORIOUS for (unintentionally) bursting my bubble and reducing me to tears when I'm excited about something. Instead of saying something like "well, that sounds great. Let's talk more about it and really consider all the options/circumstances/whatever, over dinner tonight", he'll just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind that (in my mind) means my idea is a bad one, without really thinking of how I'm feeling or how it will affect me. His mind to mouth filter = not so good.
So while I can't know exactly what you're going thru because your deal sooooo much bigger than anything we've dealt with, I certainly can imagine how upset you must be. Try to calm down and just sit down with him and the calendar tonight and it will all work out. I just know this will happen for you in 2010!
When 3 Became 4
This!! ((((hugs)))) Everything's gonna be okay.
In a worst-case scenario, can he donate ahead of schedule? I mean, it would be nice to have him there for everything, but if he can't be there, you really just need his swimmers.
And ditto everyone else - it's going to be ok!
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
Can your DH freeze a sample in case the egg retrieval falls when he is at a trade show? If you are doing ICSI, all they need is a few sperm. (since the frozen sample won't be quite as good as a fresh sample)
You would still need someone to drive you to and from the egg retrieval and the embryo transfer, but this would solve the problem of "what if he is out of town."
My DH was so nervous about something happening during the cycle that we didn't drive more than 45 minutes away in the days leading up to the embryo transfer. He was afraid the car would break down and we would be stuck somewhere and miss our appointment time.
Hang in there. Perhaps if your DH thinks about how much financially you have to lose if your insurance does not cover the IVF, he will decide that the IVF cycle trumps the trade show.
It is 300 to do a frozen donation. DH's had 3.5 mil in when it was thawed. They will be able to find 20-30 good living ones. He can do this now so that in case he can't be there in person then he can do his part. Hugs! I know you want him there with you but if he has to go to a trade show, then there is a way around his travel.
Hugs! This will be okay.
Married and it feels so good!