Introducing myself
lauranne
member
I have been lurking here all weekend, and I just want to thank you ladies for being there for me during some of the darkest moments of my life.
DH and I had been TTC for quite a while (6+ months) and were thrilled when we got a BFP on 11/11. Last Wednesday, just shy of 6 weeks, I started spotting, very faint light pink, only when I wiped. I called my doc, who said spotting was normal, but to call if it got worse. I said some prayers and continued on with my day.
When I woke up on Thursday, I had a toilet full of bright red blood. I knew then in my heart that our baby was gone, but we went to the ER just to be sure everything was ok. We had nobody to watch our son, and due to H1N1 restrictions DH wasn't allowed back with our son, so I endured five hours of hell alone.
First, there was difficulty in drawing blood and getting an IV, which included a blown vein. Then I went for an U/S where they saw a sac, but nothing there. I later found out that the sac only measured 4w5d even though I was 6 weeks. After waiting three more hours, I had a pelvic exam, which was painful, embarrassing, and confirmation. My hcg was only 359. I knew I was miscarrying, yet the ER doc told me there was still hope. Really? This is the same doctor that originally told me it could be implantation spotting. Really? At 6 weeks?
I miscarried naturally on Thanksgiving night. Now I am just trying to pick up the pieces and heal. I feel like I am just going through the motions with my husband and son. Not too many people knew I was pregnant, so I just feel like I'm suffering and grieving by myself. I'm looking forward to the support that I think this board will have to offer.
miscarriage on 11/26/09 at 5w6d
Re: Introducing myself
Oh you precious sweetheart! I'm so sorry you had to experience this (and experience it alone). This sucks so hard. Be good to yourself. You're probably gonna be a not-so-great wife, mother and person right now... Don't beat yourself up over this. Take it easy and do whatever you need to heal emotionally and physically.. and hang out here... a lot. This saved me in the first dark weeks following my m/c.
HUGS!!!
I am so sorry for your loss. ((Big Hugs))
Take it easy, try to take some time for yourself if you can, and don't be afraid to go to the dark places, cry it out and grieve. Coming here has really helped me and given me comfort on the darkest of days, and I really hope you are able to find the same comfort here too.
Take care.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
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