- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Help with BF guilt
I went in to this pregnancy with all kinds of ideals as to how things were going to go, albeit knowing I would do whatever it took to deliver LO safely. Instead of the nice natural birth I wanted I ended up with every intervention known to man and an emergency c/s after 24 hours of labour.
I had always planned to BF, but during my hospital stay DS was jaundice and wouldn't latch, so I ended up supplementing with formula and then pumping. I have tried to get him back on the breast repeatedly since we've been home, but I just can't get him to do it, especially now that he's used to the bottle. I have been EP and have enough milk, but I feel guilty about not BFing. I know I could keep trying, but he's a really happy baby until I pull my boob out and then he sounds like I'm torturing him and I can't handle it. Is it really worth the fight, or should I just give in and get used to pumping?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Help with BF guilt
give in??? he's only a week old. Call an LC or LLL asap, and try to get them to see you soon (like, within a day or two) At least give it another week or two of trying.
I'm in a similar situation. My DD had problems latching once we got home so I started to EP and just yesterday tried the breast again. She also screams like Im torturing her but what I do is calm her down by walking with her or placing her in her swing and try again in a few minutes. If she still puts up a fight then I also try laying down with her.
It just takes some time but it is worth it.
This is such a personal decision but I can only share my experience. I also wanted a natural childbirth. I ended up with a breech baby and an emergency c/s as well.
For me, breastfeeding was very important. The first week we had latching difficulties so I pumped and we finger fed. I then went to ebf and he wasn't gaining weight. I also wondered if I could just be happy with pumping and feeding.
In the end, I fought it. I just knew that I wouldn't be happy pumping only. I am so glad I did because at 4 months, ebfing is going so well and I love doing it.
That being said, it was difficult for me to get there. Without knowing specifically what your problems are, it's hard to say what the problem might be. Have you seen a LC? If not, you should get in there asap because they will be able to help with latching problems.
GL! Only you know what is best for you. Moms do EP but it is much harder than ebfing and I think a lot more give up because it's so much more time consuming. Whatever you decide, will be what is best for you. But if you want to keep breastfeeding, this place is a great place for support. GL!
I just wanted to say that if you decide to EP, then I wouldn't feel guilty about it. I think moms have a tendency to put too much pressure on themselves and each other when it comes to BF. Ultimate goal is to feed baby and have him/her be happy and healthy. I wouldn't lose sight of that when making your decisions. I am EPing and felt that guilt at first until the pediatrician and DH reminded me of this goal and that my desire to give baby breastmilk was still being accomplished even if I EPed.
As to the loss of "bonding" if not BFing, DH and I were both formula babies (he was raised by a single dad) and we both are very close with our parents. DH had to keep reminding me this the first couple of weeks.
Like PP said, I can only share my personal experience. My LO would not latch on. I have very short nipples so they didn't reach far enough into her mouth to start her suckling reflex. They gave us a nipple shield in the hospital and with that she latched right on. The LC told us how to ween her off of using the nipple shield (start nursing with shield on, and a few min it take it off and put her right on the breast) that never worked for us. DD has only latched once without the shield for like 5 min. DD also lost too much weight her first few days and we were supplementing with formula due to a low supply. Just this weekend I made the decision to stop nursing because it was making me miserable. I'm still pumping so LO will at least get some BM for the antibodies and nutrients she can't get from formula, but I only get about 5-6oz per day.
You are still very early in the game and I would strongly suggest seeing a LC if BFing is important to you. Don't give up just yet!
You are not alone.
I too planned a natural birth and ended up with all of the interventions and finally, a c-section. DS was in the NICU for the first week. He latched like a champ... until my milk came in. Then my breasts were too large and nipples too small and he was becoming accustomed to the bottle. I worked with a LC every day and it still wasn't clicking until the day he was released from the hospital and I asked the LC for a nipple shield. I took him home and started using the shield and he only had 1 bottle of formula that first weekend and we have EBF for over 2 months now.
A shield may not be your answer, but just know that there are other options out there is you don't want to give up yet. I've yet to hear a breastfeeding story that didn't have it's share of trouble. We can all relate. Of course, the most important thing is that you and baby are happy.
DS and I fought for the first 7 days. It took him 5-15 minutes of frustrated crying before he would latch on. Formula was never an option for us and we didn't have a pump yet. So we just had to get through it. Our breastfeeding problems were: my nipples aren't big enough (kinda flat), he's tongue tied, and I wasn't positioning him right. I always had him lying on his back with his head only turned to the breast. On the 8th day I went to Target and got a breast shield which helped him latch on. On the 9th day I went to a local breastfeeding support group where they have "my brest friend" pillows for mamas to use. I used it and DS latched in 10 seconds. It was amazing. I bought one from them and have been using it since. And with the pillow we haven't needed the shield. I really think our problem was positioning. Also the lactation consultant at the group said that contrary to everything that we read babies don't have nipple preference... it's flow preference. So make sure you're using the lowest flow nipples and try to get your breasts if possible to flow faster than the nipples you're using so LO will prefer your breasts. Maybe try herbs, tea, pumping, etc to get supply up and flow better.