Would this have made you mad? (kinda long)

locash · November 2009

I feel like I may be overreacting and just looking for reasons to continue my disdain for my SIL.

So, she's KU ("we're so suprised and just not ready and poooorrrrr me" about sums it up). And I knew she would be insensitive and she does a lot of things for attention. She talks/complains about it nonstop every time we see them (we don't speak to each other, though) and hasn't said a word to acknowledge our loss.

On Friday, I caught her during dinner taking deep breaths and looking sick - I felt she was just waiting for someone to ask her if she's ok (the answer is always something negative). No one took the bait, so she did it again after dinner. Her response? "The baby kicks me a lot from 8:30 to 9:00 every night and it really hurts".

I wanted to strangle her. I would love to have my baby kicking me by this point. Would you have been pisssed off by this, or is it just b/c I don't like her?

XXXXX222 · November 2009

I think maybe your opinion of her is coloring your perception. I've never been pregnant, but I've known enough pregnant women to know that it isn't always comfort, puppies, and rainbows. Especially if it was an unplanned pregnancy. JMO though.

synchrosally · November 2009

I hate people who milk it every time they don't feel well. My friend complained every 5 minutes about her sore arm one night after getting her flu shot. The fact that she didn't even acknowledge your loss is just insensitive. I'm sorry she is such an AW. I would probably be upset if I were in your shoes too. Sorry hun.

MissNikki007 · November 2009

I probably would have choked her out.

I don't think it's because you don't like her. I don't know her and it pissed me off.

chickpea912 · November 2009

I can definitely see why you're annoyed, but I agree with pp - I think it's more about her personality than just the fact that she's KU. Sorry - it sucks..

MixiePixie · November 2009

I sort of agree with Sulfa, but your SIL does sound like she constantly needs attention. I know people who do stuff like that just so someone will ask what is wrong.

canthardlywait426 · November 2009

If she was just doing it for attention, and never acknowledged your loss, yes I would be upset also. I would feel like she was being insensitive.

sail123 · November 2009

She sounds incredibly irritating. And it is really insensitive of her to not acknowledge your loss.

XXXXX222 · November 2009

Wait, does she know about your loss? If so, maybe you can politely mention that it hurts you to hear her complain, even though you understand her situation is not perfect either.

Mrs.Johns · November 2009

She sounds clueless and selfish. I agree that it sounds like it's just her personality that sucks. I am sorry you had to deal with that.

I hate when people complain about being pregnant.

ashleyann82 · November 2009

Mad maybe not.....irritated.....very!

LilacStar11 · November 2009

I loathe my SIL as well so I understand where you are coming from. My immature BIL got her KU after knowing her for 6 months. They have zero money and my IL's are completely supporting them.

Everything for the past year has been about her and now the baby and everything is a HUGE issue. The baby has a hard time feeding and all of a suddon, she is the first woman to ever have a baby that is colic and has reflux.

I hate AWish SIL's.. totally get where you are coming from.

locash · November 2009

sulfababy:
Wait, does she know about your loss? If so, maybe you can politely mention that it hurts you to hear her complain, even though you understand her situation is not perfect either.

Yea, she does. And we tried that road. I got called a selfish biitch (and I was pretty nice about it, congratulated them and told them we were happy to be getting another niece, etc.). So we don't speak. So now I think she does it on purpose.

But you're probably right. I now look for things to hate her for. She brings out the absolute worst in me and I don't know what to do about it. I'm not very good at ignoring things.

DaniSev · November 2009

I think its a combination of her being an AW and that would irritate anyone and your feelings towards her.

XXXXX222 · November 2009

Oh gosh, NOW I think you have plenty of reason to be pissed off. I'm sorry you have to deal with her.

LnR70707 · November 2009

I think it is her behavior/personality that is the issue here. I had two co-workers KU at the same time - 1 super sweet, probably TTCed for awhile, the other one it was her 3rd oops. While neither complained, I would have had a much stronger urge to punch the 2nd one in the face.

locash · November 2009

flgirl79:
DaniSev:

I think its a combination of her being an AW and that would irritate anyone and your feelings towards her.

This.

Your SIL sounds like a pill.

You guys are right. I guess I knew all of this already, but a fresh perspective is very helpful. (I don't always get unbiased advice from my mom and sisters!!)

Any coping methods are welcomed We just keep telling ourselves that we'll have a cuter baby. Horrible, I know. But I guess it's better than punching her in the face...

locash · November 2009

Mrs.Bones:

I'm so sorry for your loss.

She sounds like a terrible baiter - an AW who baits you into asking about them... like "Oh, that hurts so much....<look around the room & pause for questions>..."

I think the best you can do is to ignore her and start your own conversations about fun things that you and your DH are doing. I'm sorry she's insensitive.

I like this. Be my own AW That's kind of what we do now. It works, until I leave and complain about her to my poor DH (who also dislikes her greatly). I guess I just have to keep sucking it up! Thanks for the advice!

jteneback · November 2009

I think she is being a bit insensitive towards you, and an AW. Some people are just natural complainers and don't know how to tone it down.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · November 2009

I have to agree with Sulfa that your disdain for her is making things worse. I don't like my SIL either so I understand how the little things really piss you off. As far as her not saying anything about your loss she might not know what to say. You guys don't like each other & she is unexpectedly pregnant so she could just be afraid to say anything.

locash · November 2009

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick:
I have to agree with Sulfa that your disdain for her is making things worse. I don't like my SIL either so I understand how the little things really piss you off. As far as her not saying anything about your loss she might not know what to say. You guys don't like each other & she is unexpectedly pregnant so she could just be afraid to say anything.

Eh, maybe. I'm sorry is a fine place to start - an e-mail, text message, anything. I certainly would have sucked it up to show sympathy if the tables were turned.

And I wouldn't say this is so unexpected. She purposely went off BC and choose to have unprotected sex with her new husband. She's been pretty deceitful in the past, so I wonder if it was an accident or she's just saying that. Again, might just be the fact that I don't care much for her. But accident or not, it's no excuse to be an inconsiderate person.

MrsMucker · November 2009

I probably would have beat her face in... but that is just me and my anger issues. My loser cousin is knocked up too and she is all poor me... the daddy is in jail... blah blah blah... it's really sad.

kkghotty · November 2009

She sounds sort of AWish to me. I would have been irritated. My sis just had a baby in October and was a TOTAL trooper. We were just having a conversation yesterday about how annoying it is for people like your SIL who constantly crave attention for their pregnancies.

MSC03 · November 2009

She sounds like an annoying biitch to me.

PinkLove-S · November 2009

Are you sure you and i don't have the same drama queen/AW SIL???? Anyway, once someone gets on your nerves, EVERYTHING they do pisses you off. Well, i avoid my SIL like the plague so that's the only advice i have. It won't help your relationship but will help with how often you get aggravated. I am biting my tongue until after the holidays and then i can go back to avoiding.... I'm sorry you are going through this because it sucks. I know!

Good luck!!

Want a personalized experience?

Would this have made you mad? (kinda long)

Re: Would this have made you mad? (kinda long)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards