WWYD - Dec Baby and Family Holiday Gatherings
I feel like were already being made to feel like it is assumed that we will be attending the Christmas holiday gatherings this year, especially the extended family ones. Both of our extended families have a number of younger children too, which I normally love but currently see as germ carriers 
I have no problem gathering with our immediate families, although there is a small child on each side it is a much more controlled environment and I would feel like we can control their contact with our little one. And the only other people handling the baby would be our parents or siblings which I'm fine with and again we can control that situation a little more.
So my question is WWYD, do you think it is being paranoid to not attend anything but immediate family stuff? We are fine with people coming to see us b/c it wouldn't be 30 people all at one time passing my newborn baby around, you know what I mean!
Re: WWYD - Dec Baby and Family Holiday Gatherings
I think that they would understand that you've got a newborn in flu season, I would hope they do anyway. A family gathering with 30 people is a breeding ground for something, close proximity, body heat plus the furnace, and everyone loves to touch baby hands which have the tendency to be in baby's mouth.
If you feel that they won't accept this and insist you come, then wear her and say your BFing even if you aren't. I know I was BFing 10-12 times a day when L was that small, she also comfort nursed so it was not uncommon to take 45 min to nurse, using that can work to not having to pass the baby.
Joseph Henry was born at home on March 9, 2009
Nora Mae was born at home on October 30, 2011
My mom actually hasn't said much b/c I kind of set the expectation with here that I likely wouldn't be at our extended family thing this year, but I've had a couple of other family members on that side make comments like they assume we will be there.
DH's mom on the other hand made a comment to DH that she hopes we can make it to the extended family thing. I think DH shot her down pretty fast and said we will just have to see, but we are likely staying pretty close to home that 1st month and even if he goes down there the baby and I would probably stay home.
I know I shouldn't care what other people think but I just hate being that paranoid new mom that everyone is going to talk about at the family gathering b/c we are not there
Jackson was a bit older - born in October - but for the most part, we took him to holiday gatherings with our extended families
I'm just not paranoid about germs, and he was a healthy baby [not a preemie or something - which would make me paranoid I think]. I think, with a newborn, I would just play it by ear. You don't know when you'll feel like getting out of the house [I got a little stir crazy], and you may feel like enjoying a family gathering. There are steps you can take to limit the baby's contact w/ people [moby wrap/baby carrier, asking people to wash their hands before touching the baby, etc.].
I would just tell people that you'll do your best to make it to family gatherings but you can't guarantee it due to how crazy newborn's schedules are and because you have no idea how you're going to feel at 3-4 weeks post partum. I just wouldn't make any hard and fast rules or tell people you definitely won't come, b/c you may feel like it here and there. I'm sure people will understand why you can't fully commit or decline an invitation.
totally agree with Beth. Mar was 3.5 months at Christmas and we traveled to two states and two different family gatherings (staying there for several days) and I didn't worry about it.
It was not my experience that people were big into passing a baby around. Most were content to look at her while I was holding her. (But again, I had a very crying baby and people were probably afraid they'd make her scream.)
j+k+m+e | running with needles
LOL, kat! I had a very pukey baby which limited people's desire to hold him/pass him around. They were afraid their nice holiday party attire would end up smelling like hypoallergenic formula, I'm sure.
Darn it all, but you came down with mastitis that very morning, all three of you were stuck in urgent care for hours, you have a 103 degree temp and are too sick to go, and DH has to take care of both you and the baby at home.
I think you should just go with your gut and ignore any negative comments.
Ditto Beth and Kat. My kiddo was born on Dec. 9. Our gatherings were 25 - 30 peeps and we a few small children (my niece was 8 months and 3 cousins who were 5 and under). I'm not much of a germaphone, and Shawn was a healthy baby, so I wasn't overly concerned. I had a few peeps that wanted to hold him, and I actually welcomed the little bit of a break that it gave me, too.
I think with a new baby and depending on how you feel, playing it by ear is definitely the best way to go.
I want to add that while my opinion I know is greatly influenced by having a preemie (I used to be a very non-germophobe and now I'm the other extreme), my opinion is also based off of observations of other people and their heatlhy term newborns! I know TOO many people who had newborns that got RSV and ended up right back in the hospital. I specificaly remember Andrew's NICU nurse telling us her 1 week old got RSV - she was term and perfectly heatlhy - and they gave her a 50/50 chance of survival at Riley. I guess I'm just saying that stories like that, which to me are not uncommon (I know of several instances IRL) scare me to death!
I also asked one of my friend's (pedi) if she had a healthy, term baby during this RSV/flu season, how "paranoid" would she be? She said she would be very protective of her baby.
I guess the more you see these healthy kiddos get so sick, the more scared you get
Ditto Beth exactly. We've taken Olivia out around people since the beginning and haven't worried a lot about it.
If your family is close by, I would just play it by ear and see how you feel. Let them know that you may not make it, but if you have a healthy baby and feel like getting out of the house, I'm sure you'll want to spend that time with them.
If you have to travel, my opinion changes. It's a PITA to drag all of the stuff out and depending on how your recovery goes, you may not want to be in a car for that long.