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Babies on the Brain
Lambie.
member
Anyone here? I need help.
Lambie.
member
My NT scan is scheduled for Tuesday. DH asks me tonight, "what's that for again?" I explain it to him. To make 2 hrs of arguing short, he isn't for it. He says it doesn't change anything and he doesn't want to know. He did say I can do it if I want but he thinks it's a bad idea and if anything is wrong he doesn't want to know about it. I don't know that I won't be a nervous wreck until June if I don't do it. I also know if something was wrong with the baby I probably couldn't keep it a secret from him. And then if I did let it slip would he be mad at me about it? Fukc. I need to make a decision by tomorrow. I want to nut punch him. WWYD?
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Re: Anyone here? I need help.
It's really a personal decision that you and your DH are going to need to work out.
Just because you choose to have testing/NT Scan, etc doesn't mean you are going to terminate if something were wrong. Is that what he thinks?
We chose to do testing so that we would be prepared whatever the outcome.
He's right, if you find out something is wrong, there isn't really anything you can do about it at that point. Though, if there were something wrong would you want to know so that you could research it and figure out everything you could.
FWIW we did not have the NT scan. We had no genetic factors that put us as risk, so we chose not to do it.
TBH, I'd do it anyway, and if he doesn't want to be there he doesn't have to go. I'd probably try to talk him into going since you'll be able to see the little one again, but if he's really against it you can't make him go.
There are plenty of reasons on each side of the argument, but I am sure both of you threw those out if you were discussing it for two hours. The main reason DH and I have decided to do the NT scan when we get KU is because I will want to know before the baby is born so that we can have the best care possible after birth to maximize chances for a healthy life should there be something wrong.
I'd go to the appointment anyway, if nothing but for piece of mind.
We decided not to do it. Since we would not terminate and I was low risk, we didn't see the need. We did do the blood work, though. If I remember correctly, it wasn't covered by our insurance? or at least not fully.
If you are going to be freaked out though, I would do it. It will give you peace of mind.
Baby # 2 edd 11/26/08 - Ezra Jacob born 11/29/08, 9 lbs 6 oz., 21 3/4 in
Baby #3 edd 05/04/13 - Titus Jude born 05/01/13, 9 lb 5 oz. 21.5 in
I'd give him awhile to cool off. But what if you go ahead with it and something is wrong. He still wouldn't want to know? I find that hard to believe. You will have to either not have the NT scan or get him on board, IMO.
Is he against all testing? We didn't have an NT scan but had the quad blood work done around 16-20 weeks that screens for downs, chomosomal defects, etc.
Our insurance covered ours, so I'm sure it depends on your plan. If that's a concern for the OP.
It's definitely a personal choice. We opted NOT to do any 1st tri screening. We asked our OB what would happened if there were any abnormalities and she said that they would send us for further testing and if that came back bad there was nothing they could do to change it but we could still have an abortion. Since having a amnio and or an abortion were out if the question for us personally we decided not to bother. We of course still did the anatomy/growth scan at 20 weeks to check on other things with the baby that may effect the delivery.
You and your husband should be on the same page. Dis he not know what it was before? make sure you go over all the testing/procedures you will be having in the future now so you have time to talk about them if you don't agree.
Good Luck!
Yes, he says he doesn't want to know if something is wrong. Period. He said I can find out but he doesn't want to know.
I could give him time to calm down but I have to cancel in the morning or I will get charged and insurance won't cover that charge. What makes me the most upset is a month ago when we were sitting in the doctors office and she explained it all and asked what we wanted to do and I said, "NT scan, what do you think honey," he shrugged his shoulders and said "whatever" and didn't mention it again until tonight.
Yes, that is very annoying and frustrating, but I think sometimes men just don't get it, or they aren't listening very well!
Can you attempt to reschedule your appointment in the morning? This way it will give you the option to continue with the scan without your DH in case he doesn't come around and allow him time to cool down before you approach the subject again Also, it will save you on the cancellation charges.
My BFP Chart~
Totally late on this, but I will give you our reasoning for it. Had something been wrong we would have both rather been prepared to deal with it and had some time to process and learn about whatever it was. I would rather deal with that while still pregnant than 5 minutes after delivery. It wouldn't have changed how we felt about the baby just given us more knowledge of what to expect. And I am always for the most knowledge I can get about something!
I would probably still have the scan done. It doesn't really give you a for sure yes or no just what the odds are. And if when you get the results back they indicated your baby is at a higher risk then you can make more of a decision at that point.