If your toddler cries in the middle of the night..

DMD3443 · November 2009

How do you respond? It doesn't happen every night, but I'd say an average of 3 times per week DS wakes up crying. I usually have to go in and soothe him, but I try to keep it brief. Then I put him back down and he always cries for a few minutes and falls back asleep.

I've tried not going in at all to see if he'll fall back asleep and usually he just gets more and more upset---it's like he just needs to see my face and have me hold him for a second and then he can go back to sleep. But am I making it worse by doing that?

It's crazy because he never used to wake up at all, this is just in the last couple months. Any suggestions?

DMD3443 · November 2009

BTW he's 14 months

elevendiamonds · November 2009

Do what you are doing, but don't speak, turn on a light that's outside the bedroom that will not be bright. Go in and just lay him back down and pat his back a few times and then leave. He might be having some nightmares.

elevendiamonds · November 2009

elevendiamonds:
Do what you are doing, but don't speak, turn on a light that's outside the bedroom that will not be bright. Go in and just lay him back down and pat his back a few times and then leave. He might be having some nightmares.

and don't pick him up.

earthboundmisfit · November 2009

We bring her into bed..probably not the "best" thing to do, whatever that means, but we enjoy cuddling with her for a few hours every night and it feels right to us. She goes to bed in her crib fine BTW, just lays her little head down and falls asleep without a fuss. So she's independent, but not totally and I kind of feel that she needs that little cuddle in the morning. But that's just MY DD and what I think SHE needs/wants. She doesn't usually wake up until 4am most nights. She is 13 months.

Not good advice, just sharing my story. I hope you find something that works for you though.

J+O · November 2009

I usually go in a rock him and he falls back asleep. Sometimes I'll give him a bottle and rock for around 5 minutes. You never know why they're waking up, sometimes they just need to see you because of a bad dream.

Edit: I keep all the lights OFF. And if he's still fussy, I change him and he gets a bottle. All the while the lights are off. The hallway light is on though.

clayswife · November 2009

We give him a minute or two to try to work it out himself. If that doesn't work, I usually just bring him in for some snuggle time. It doesn't happen every night and generally after 4 in the am... so this works for us.

KathrynMD · November 2009

I normally give her a few minutes (3-5) and if she's still crying or getting more upset, I'll go in and rock her, give her a paci and/or feed her if all else fails.

Mama Jan · November 2009

my 22mo does this - i'm not always convinced he's actually awake. often i give him a pacifier, tell him to lay back down (he's usually sitting up), and i rub his back for a second. i don't pick him up though, i'm always afraid it will make him do it more and more.

smash_effect · November 2009

My son seems to be doing this more and more. We let him "work it out" for 2-3 minutes. If he's still up, we go in and sooth him. If he's still inconsolible we go through whatever might be bothering him (give a bottle, diaper change, check temp of room). If all else fails we do let him cry it out a bit longer and he seems to go back to sleep but I hate to hear him cry more than a few minutes.

Mrs.Goldenblatt · November 2009

earthboundmisfit:

We bring her into bed..probably not the "best" thing to do, whatever that means, but we enjoy cuddling with her for a few hours every night and it feels right to us. She goes to bed in her crib fine BTW, just lays her little head down and falls asleep without a fuss. So she's independent, but not totally and I kind of feel that she needs that little cuddle in the morning. But that's just MY DD and what I think SHE needs/wants. She doesn't usually wake up until 4am most nights. She is 13 months.

Not good advice, just sharing my story. I hope you find something that works for you though.

We do this except it's gotten earier and ealier and now it's to the point where he's in our bed by midnight. We're going to break that habit real soon.

LittleApple · November 2009

I usually let her cry for about 5-10 minutes. Any longer than that I go up and soothe her.

Dobie_Mama · November 2009

If she's actually awake (vs. crying in her sleep) I rub her belly to try to get her settled. If that doesn't work I bring her to bed with us and snuggle her. She has night terrors, so her crying in the middle of the night can be pretty insane.

IckyThump · November 2009

LittleApple:
I usually let her cry for about 5-10 minutes. Any longer than that I go up and soothe her.

Ditto. Like a pp said, sometimes I swear he's crying in his sleep. Unless he's sick, it's extremely rare for DS to cry for more than a minute or so while in bed.

jrzbryde · November 2009

I give him a few minutes to see if he falls back asleep (or is just crying in his sleep), and if he doesn't I go in, lay him back down, and rub his back. As someone else suggested, we do not pick him up.

A few times when it has been really bad, one of us will lay on the floor next to the crib until he falls asleep, sometimes holding his hand through the crib rails.

To make you feel better, DS went through a phase like this a few months ago, and it passed and he is back to STTN again. Good luck!

spiderbride531 · November 2009

This is what we do. I don't pick her up, just lay her back down, kiss on the forehead. Give her lovey, paci, and Thumper. She usually goes right back down!

mabst196 · November 2009

I go in and give her a hug and a kiss to calm her down. I lay her back down in the crib and hope for the best. She normally goes back to sleep unless she is teething and it might take some tylenol to get her back down.

Want a personalized experience?

If your toddler cries in the middle of the night..

Re: If your toddler cries in the middle of the night..

Choose Another Board

Search Boards