6 years TTC and lost baby at 11 weeks

lizlop01 · November 2009

My heart is broken and I don't know if I will ever be able to smile again. My husband and I have been ttc for 6 years and finally few months ago we found out we were pregnant. Now we are empty, sad, angry, devastated...can't even find the words to describe my feelings. I am looking for answers and is frustrating to hear my doctor say that this things just happen. Why do this things happen? WHY?

Have any of you been able to find out why did it happen? any medical reason?

I need help please!

Thank you

Rachel&Joe · November 2009

i am sorry for the picture of dd in my siggie but i wanted to respond since no one else is.

I am so very sorry for your loss. i can't imagine the pain of trying for so long, finally getting pregnant, & then losing the baby at 11 weeks.

i lost 4 babies before having dd (very premature birth). finally figured out that i have a progesterone deficiency & a clotting disorder. even with the most amazing prenatal care, constant ultrasounds, monitoring, etc. i still almost lost dd.

throughout all of the losses i also felt so bitter & angry & didn't understand why this kept happening over & over. it's truly awful. sometimes there is a reason & sometimes there is not. many doctors will not do testing until you have had 3 losses. are you going to an RE?

good luck & hang in there!

Court1 · November 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. We are waiting on test results from the D&C we had Wednesday. I feel all of the things you're feeling right now too. Like life will never be normal again, anger, sadness, why, confusion. Did you have a natural m/c or are you having a D&C?

Staribeth · November 2009

I am sorry for your loss. Have you discussed with your doctor the possible issues? Like the previous poster, we found out I have a progesterone deficiency and we are probably going to begin testing my thyroid in the upcoming weeks. That was discovered through tests on me though. During my post op appointment with my dr. I was able to ask all the questions and most importantly, come up with a plan for the next few months. I would be very direct with your doctor about your concerns and if you aren't happy with the response, look for a new doctor. Feel free to ask questions here and vent all you need. GL

Scout05 · November 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. We have lost three babies, and we were only able to determine a reason for our most recent loss; tissue tests confirmed Trisomy 16.

We are currently awaiting genetic counseling. Have you spoken with an RE or genetic counselor?

Imanurse03 · November 2009

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Hugs. I haven't been TTC as long as you; just 3 years but it feels like an eternity. We've done basically every IF treatment out there, including IVF. We've had 4 miscarriages since we started IF treatments. It's been a long, dark, tough road. I am so bitter and angry. And everyone around us is pg, including friends, co-workers and family. Some are even having their 2nd and 3rd child in the time we've spent TTC # 1. It sucks and is so painful. It's difficult enough to have the pain of infertility but to have a pregnancy loss on top of that is just terrible. I can't stand to be around or even listen to pg women. And I can't be around babies. It's too hard. I have gotten to the point where I really don't care what people think of me anymore.

I was found to have 3 clotting issues after my 2nd m/c. I've been treated for those but still had 2 additional pg losses. My RE doesn't really know what the problem is. I know most doctors won't do testing on you until after your 2nd or 3rd loss, unfortunately. Did you have a d & c? Were you able to send the products for testing? I hope that you get some answers. Not having answers is so frustrating. Good luck and hugs to you.

Temp950106187509203 · November 2009

I am so, so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are able to find a doctor who will work with you to find the answers.

sunsetlove · November 2009

i'm so sorry for your loss.. after hearing the news of a 2nd loss.. we did testing only to find out it was a normal pg.. our next step is to speak to a specialist.. the ladies here are wondeful.. my prayers are with the both of you.. ((HUGS)))

Sonadora · November 2009

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Our insurance doesn't cover any testing of any kind until a 3rd loss, so we didn't find out if there was a reason for our loss.

triple_sevens · November 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain you've experienced in these years of trying. I pray that you and your husband are able to have your child soon.

schen0510 · November 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. DH and I have been trying for about 5 years. We have been under the care of an RE for 2 years. We had 5 rounds of IUI which were unsuccessful and 2 IVFs. Our first IVF worked and we lost our LO at 9 weeks. Our second IVF also took, twins, and they held on until 19 weeks at which point they kept strong heartbeats until I delivered them, They were born still on September 2nd and September 4th. We know that our first LO had trisomey 8. Our twins were completely healthy. The doctors are not sure at all as to why I went into labor. I will be considered high risk next time (I was this time as well because of twins) and will be monitored much more closely. I am sure that when they do the testing on your LO they will be able to tell you what happened.

I am still devastated even now and DH has asked me to start therapy. I am hoping that it helps. Having to wait so long to get pg is almost as hard as having it taken away so quickly from you. Try to stay strong. This board has been a huge help to me. Everyone here is amazing! ((Hugs))

~Sandy

MSC03 · November 2009

Ugh, that is awful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

My loss was a little different, so I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to let you know that we're here for you.

pavbride · November 2009

I am so so sorry for your loss

ala_1220 · November 2009

I don't have any advice or answers to your questions. I just wanted to say how terribly sorry I am for you and your DH. I'm glad you found us...this board is great because not a lot of people can understand what you are going through...but these girls do!!!

I hope you get the answers you are looking for very soon.

Cow-girl · November 2009

Im so sorry for your loss. I have had three losses myself in the last twelve months. (8 wks, 18 wks, and 7 wks).. My 18 wk loss was due to chorioamnionitis (an infection in the amniotic fluid). They dont know what caused my other losses, but they did find out that I have heterozygous MTHFR (google if you are interested) its a blood disorder. They are now treating me for that and we are hoping and praying for a better result next time.

The girls on this board are the most supportive group you will ever meet. If you need us we are here. Im so sorry that you had to join us, but I can tell you that these girls will lift you up when you fall down. I know because I have been on this board for over a year now sadly.

I hope that you get some answers very soon.

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