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Attachment Parenting
Jocelyn0415
member
Help me feel better about bed-sharing
Jocelyn0415
member
I posted on 0-3 and was directed here to get advice on bed-sharing.
DD does not sleep well unless she's in bed with us. I put my arm under here, pull her close to my chest, and use a light blanket that only goes up to her waist. Everything I've read advises you not to bed-share because of the SIDS risks. I'm a really light sleeper and I wake up any time she moves or makes a noise, so I'm not worried about rolling over on her.
I just wanted to hear about other bed-sharing experiences and make myself feel better about my decision to do it.
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Re: Help me feel better about bed-sharing
Actually, if you look at the research safe bedsharing lowers the risk of SIDS. Each year 3x more babies die from SIDS in cribs than die from a bedsharing accident. Most of those bedsharing accidents come from mothers who were using drugs or alcohol.
https://askdrsears.com/html/10/handout1.asp
https://safebedsharing.org/safetyguidelines.html
https://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/overlaying.html
https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html
Like I posted on 0-3, we bedshare every night. I am always aware of where he is and we haven't had any "scares". I am the kind of mom who would be checking on him all night long if he wasn't right next to me. That being said, we have sidecarred our crib as well so when I get up for work, he still sleeps near DH - but in his own space. DH moves a lot during his sleep and isn't comfortable with DS sleeping inbetween us, so he only sleeps on my side facing his crib. I sleep in a long-sleeved shirt if it is chilly enough and the blanket stops at my waist. DS stays at about breast level so the pillow isn't an issue-and I also sleep on the edge of the pillow with the majority of it much closer to DH and pointing away from DS.
Hope this gives you some reassurance - PM me if you have more questions!
Thank you! I think being a first time mom makes me question everything we do. She's only 2 1/2 weeks old, so I'm still in that paranoid phase, which probably doesn't ever get much better lol.
I would just rather her be comfortable and get a good night's sleep rather than have her be fussy and wake up every 30 minutes.
We bedshare everynight, we did it in the hospital! It's easy and feels right. Lots of people do. It's perfectly normal!
There is a lot of good info and some bad out there. Go with your gut and do what feels the best
I replied to your last post.
We have a "crunchy" pedi who highly recommended bed sharing.
To read the rest of my response, check your other post. I wrote quiet a bit, so I don't want to retype it.
GL and do what you think is best and easiest for your baby
I read it. Thanks for replying! We aren't following all the rules either. We still use our comforter and pillows, but they're nowhere near DD. I only pull our comforter up to my waist and DD is up by my chest. I keep my pillow completely away from her. Since we have a king size bed, we aren't even close to FI's side, so I don't worry about him.
If you are still nervous, I would highly suggest the snugglenest. Its great for confidence, Once he is more mobile we won't keep him in it, as soon as he's a bit bigger, and not so "baby-ish"
THIS! We used the Snuggle Nest for about 6 weeks until I felt like DD was big enough and had enough neck control and awareness to either fuss or fidget if she wound up tucked up too close to one of us. We still use a sleep positioner in our bed for her now (I think we have the First Years one) and it helps keep her in her own space. I don't worry about her a bit, and we all love bedsharing, even DH.
I'm so glad we bed-share/cosleep. Most the time she's in the cosleeper but the last few nights she's been fighting a cold and needed to be elevated a bit so I brought her in and she shared my pillow for a while. It was just enough to help her breath and she was literaly touching my face so there was no way I wasn't aware of her. I slept much better with her there than when she was darth vadering in her bed!
I usually dress her in PJ's and forgo the blanket all together. I sleep better not having to deal with blankets.?