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car-seat riding

anna7602anna7602 member
in Attachment Parenting

Is there an AP stance on leaving your child in the backseat alone? DH and I don't have a car. Anytime DD has been in a car, one of us has usually been in the back seat with her (in a cab or in one of our parents' cars). This week was the first time DH's parents lent us their car while we stay with them and we've had the option to both ride in the front seat. But we feel AWFUL leaving DD alone in the back. So we only did it once.

It's moronic to worry about this, isn't it? DD is just so iffy about cars in general since she isn't that used to them, I don't want to create additional stress for her by leaving her alone.

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Re: car-seat riding

  • JimsBride08JimsBride08
    I have no idea what the AP stance is but if there is more than just the driver in the car, usually someone is in back with DS.
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  • Lotte134Lotte134
    I have no idea on the stance either, but DS is generally alone in back.  If he's not feeling well or something like that I'll sit in back with him, but not usually.  He's generally a good car rider though and will play happily with a toy while we drive.  If that wasn't the case I would be in back a lot more.
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  • MamiJamMamiJam member
    Not sure what the AP stance is but we usually don't sit back there unless DS is distressed.  If he's happy and content, which he usually is, he sits by himself and plays with his toys and a mirror that he can see us with.
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  • thomas930thomas930 member
    I don't know about and official stance on it either but my DD usually is in the back by herself as well. The only time someone is back there with her is if she is upset. We also have special car toys and she only gets to play with them in the car so that they are always some what new to her.  
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  • goodheartedmommygoodheartedmommy member
    People really worry about this?
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  • mybabylove2009mybabylove2009
    I don't unless he is stressed already. Normally DS just passes right out to some classical music and is out for the duration of the trip. The only part of being in a carseat that pisses him off is the initial placing him in the carseat and usually he's fine by the time he's in the actual car.
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  • tmp-214118062502913tmp-214118062502913

    We don't sit in the back with DD.  We used to when she was a newborn, but she seems to really enjoy it back there.  She talks to herself, plays with a toy or two, etc.  If it's a longer road trip we will often have one of us back there.

    And one may find this controversial, but does it matter what the AP stance is?  I think AP is a lot about doing what YOU feel is best for your baby, to be connected and communicating with your baby and your baby's needs.  I hate to say that I follow any specific style of parenting because I don't think parenting is following a style, but following one's instincts.  If all mothers followed their instincts and listened to their babies, no baby would CIO, no baby would be just left alone in a Jumperoo in front of a Dora the Explorer marathon, no baby would be have a lot of these non-AP tactics done on them.  We fear our instincts, we trust doctors and book authors and grandmothers and strangers more than we do our own maternal sixth sense.

    Sometimes I sit in the back because I miss DD (like after work when DH picks me up from the Metro), or because I can tell she doesn't want to be alone or misses me.  It may be AP, it may not, but it's what seems right for us. Smile

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  • MrsAmersMrsAmers

    When we only had one child, I would ride in the back a lot when DH drove.  Obviously, if only one parent was in the car, we didn't have a choice.  But whenever I had the option of sitting in the back while DD was rear-facing I would do it.  When she got upset in the car, the crying would escalate pretty fast.  And I just didn't see the point in leaving her by herself back there if there was another option.

    One she forward faced, I would only sit in the back for long trips.  Now that we have two, there isn't room for me back there...so I spend have of long car trips turning around and stretching to give them things.  I really wish there was room for me in the back seat.  :-)

    IMO, this isn't really an AP thing.  This is just what we are comfortable and what works for us.  I don't see anything wrong with sitting in front, but I preferred to be in back whenever I could.

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  • LittleEgyptLittleEgypt

    DH and I do this, but it's more a habit than anything else. Plus, it's fun to sit with DS! Since I've been on personal leave, I pick up DH from his bus stop in the evening, and DS is always so excited to see him. I mean, DH and I can talk just fine with one of us in the back seat, but DS really needs to look at someone to interact, KWIM?

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