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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Can't BF and feel like a failure!
Long story short, LO was born at 10lb 6 oz via c-section. Milk didn't come in for over a week and they wouldn't send us home from the hospital because he lost more than 1 lb in just 3 days since he wasn't eating more than just a small amount of colostrum.
In the hospital we had to give bottles to get his weight to increase so they would send us home. I now am starting to get milk and pumping every 2 hours for 15 mins, but LO doesn't want the breast because he is so used to the quick 4 oz he gets with the bottles. I am giving the pumped milk once a day (I only get about 2.5 oz/day right now and he eats 4 oz per feeding).
I feel like such a failure since I can't breast feed nor can I pump enough to give him milk exclusively. I am so scared of him getting sick this flu season and the pediatrician said to make sure to give him 2 oz at least once a day, but I really want him to stay healthy and get past this season but I feel like I could be doing more.
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Re: Can't BF and feel like a failure!
Have you tried going to a LC? They can help your baby learn to latch.
Have you tried getting him to latch when he is not very hungry?
this...your baby can get alot more milk out than you can pump.
I have tried this, but he falls asleep every single time after just one or 2 sucks. I had a few LC's at the hospital, but now that I am out I don't know who to call. Needless to say our hositpital was not much help and didn't even warn me that LO was loosing too much weight until 2 hours before we were supposed to go home when they said they wouldn't release us!
theres no shame at all in stopping, even a tiny amount does wonders. babies do awesome on only formula. also you can try taking supplements like fenugreek, or eat a crap load of oatmeal.
its really ok if you stop, dont feel bad at all. **hugs**
Go here https://lllflorida.com/groups/index.html and search for a leader in your area. Give them a call and they can point you in the right direction for a LC and also can give you info about meetings that can be helpful.
We just started BFing after 7 weeks of EPing (with one week of formula thrown in) and it is hard. Henry falls asleep everytime I nurse and I have to tickle his stomach and feet to keep him awake. I also burp him a lot and change his diaper between breasts.
I hope you can find a solution.
I agree with pp. Maybe try using a nipple shield to help LO latch. We used one for the first 3 weeks.You can call your OB office and ask who they reccommend for an LC. Thats how we found ours.
Any amount of breast milk you give your LO benefits them. If you haven't already maybe post on the breastfeeding board. They will be able to tell you some ways to boast your supply. It gets easier, I promise! Don't feel bad for giving your LO formula. You are a great mother!
first of all, please dont feel like failure. Breastfeeding is effen hard! so by you trying the way you are, you are a champ. It doesn?t always work out for everyone but keep trying and you should be fine.
My LO was 9lbs 14oz and at birth they had to give him formula b/c he was so big. after breastfeeding for 2 weeks i got an infection in my c-section wound and went on antibiotics for a week so i had to pump and dump but didnt do it often enough b/c my milk dried up a bit. and when it was time for my LO to get back on the boob he was fighting it so much! he still does and it's been over a week that he's been back on the boob but i stick to it. for a while i gave him breast milk in a bottle at night b/c the fighting was just too much but now i can finally see him getting use to the nipple again and he?s not fighting as much. it's something they have to re-learn but they eventually do. it may take a week or two but he will learn it again if he once did it before.
Also, regarding your milk supply, just keep pumping extra after each feeding and when ever you can and your milk will come in. if you keep doing that you will see a huge increase with in couple of days. When i noticed i wasn?t producing that much after a week of pumping and dumping i started pumping soooo much and now i'm a spray bottle -you just touch my boob and milk will squirt out.
Good luck and your doing a great job
yes, this!!
go to a LC! huge help.. i would have never been able to breastfeed with out them! i called them 20 times when i had to pump and dump and they were sooo helpful! (even when i called them at 10 pm)
that stinks your LC weren't much help. You can also go to a la leche league meeting near you.. see if there is one and if not, give them a call. not sure if it's free or not, and i think the meetings do cost something but not much
https://www.llli.org/
Your story sounds exactly like mine except that my son had jaundice.
Unfortunately, it doesn't always get better. Keep trying, but you may end up like me. I can pump roughly 1.5-3oz per pump session from both breasts so two pump sessions can equal a feeding. I can't breastfeed despite being on domperidone, fenugreek, and blessed thistle, and my son refuses the breast because he is used to the taste of plastic.
I agree that a certified LC (not just a woman familiar with BF) is your best bet to try and fix the problem.
I know how you feel. DS was born 8lbs 15ozs also by c-section and yep, my milk didn't really come in until almost 10 days later! The hospital would have me nurse him and then give him formula because he just wasn't wetting his diaper enough. When we went home, I tried ... and tried ... and tried. DH wasn't much help as he seemed obsessed with me exclusively breast feeding because that's what his mother and sister did (the epitomies of motherhood they are - note my sarcasm). He just was not open to the idea of formula. One night, we gave him the instant feed bottles they gave us in the hospital and he got horrible gas - poor little guy screamed and screamed and of course DH pronounced that he was not to be given formula ever again.
By this point, *I* was the one crying every time feeding time came because DS just was not getting the latching thing down and my nipples were cracked, raw, and borderline bleeding. It was excruciating every time I put him to the breast. DH would get upset because I would cry out in pain every time DS would latch on. Like I was putting on some act or something. I think the fact that it kept happening (and that the crying didn't magically stop once he hinted that I was being melodramatic) had him sort of open to formula although he wouldn't commit to saying formula was ok.
Then I got some very strange pains in my left breast and we didn't know what they were. Since I had no fever or anything like that, I would pump from that breast and give that to the baby since putting him to that breast was just NOT an option. Because I had dr's appts, I would pump both breasts and we'd feed that to the baby and yes we HAD to go to formula because my being out of the house at the dr's meant I wasn't home to pump and/or put him to the breast. Guess what? Baby never noticed the difference! He took to the bottle and formula just fine.
So, turns out I have a cyst in my breast that only hurts because I'm breastfeeding. Dr says I probably wouldn't have noticed it otherwise but the motion of breastfeeding is making me more sensitive to it. Bottom line, it'll keep hurting until I stop breastfeeding. Meh - I'm ok with that because pumping doesn't aggravate it as much as actually nursing.
So I can't BF (in the "true" sense of the word) either and I felt like a failure initially but DS had his 4 week checkup today and is doing WONDERFULLY. Growing and gaining weight "like a champ". So I'm not "nursing" and I'm not a failure ... and neither are you. Don't let others make you feel like a failure. Seriously - it's like when you become a mother it's carte blanche for others to judge you. Do what is best for BOTH of you. If you want to (or can) continue to pump and bottle it. You can give him the breastmilk bottle and then finish him off with formula. Some is better than none.
Chin up. Sending you {{hugs}}