How is your relationship with DH?

Re: How is your relationship with DH?

• maze_bright

  November 2009

  I don't feel like this personally, but my sis-in-law did when she had her baby. She felt like her husband didn't really care for or like the baby at all. She was convinced of it. I think it also impacted how close she felt about her husband. I'm sure some of it is misplaced anxiety about being a new parent, and needing something to project your emotions onto. If you think any of it is situational or warranted, you should talk to your DH about it. I'm sure he'd reassure you that everything is fine.

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• livinreality member

  November 2009

  I found the first 3 weeks really hard emotionally and remember crying to my mom that my DH was going to divorce me due to insanity. ?

  Take a deep breath and hang in there, it is a big adjustment for him too. ?Now if you still feel this way in a couple of weeks you might want to sit down and talk to him but for now I would give him the benefit of the doubt that you are hormonal, sleep deprived and trying to figure out the mommy thing. ?

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• Switzerland member

  November 2009

  I'm sure it's just your hormones. I didn't necessarily feel what you are feeling but I did in a way "mourn" the loss of my alone time with DH and all the things we used to do together that we haven't been able to -- cuddle on the couch for long periods of time, sleep in, go out to dinner, etc. Hang in there.

  

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• mommyof2texans

  November 2009

  I think a lot of new Dads just don't feel connected to the newborn baby but usually grow into the role.  There is still a lot of "mom is the primary caregiver" mentality as well so Dad can feel a bit like a spectator at first.  Not sure if this makes much sense (haven't slept much lately lol) but I agree with PP that its a big adjustment for him too.
  

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• MrsBatty

  November 2009

  DH is pissing me off right now.  NFT.

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• heatherlane member

  November 2009

  Mommyof2texans:

  I think a lot of new Dads just don't feel connected to the newborn baby but usually grow into the role.  There is still a lot of "mom is the primary caregiver" mentality as well so Dad can feel a bit like a spectator at first.  Not sure if this makes much sense (haven't slept much lately lol) but I agree with PP that its a big adjustment for him too.
  

  This times 100! I didn't feel exactly like you...I have to say I was more in love with DH than ever. But he felt a little awkward and left out for the first month or so, like DS and I had a special bond that he couldn't understand. Once DS started smiling around 4 weeks, things changed big time. When the baby responds to his dad, it lights my DH's world up.

  Um, yeah. The Bump be too crazy for pics of my kid.

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• snowflake19

  November 2009

  We have a wonderful relationship, but it's different.  I think for me it's because I really need that cuddle time to feel close to him and with a new baby that is not always possible. Throw in the lack of sex immediately post partum and that adds to the lack of intimacy/feelings of distance towards DH.  DS has started to go to bed earlier allowing for some couple time before bed, and am feeling more "myself" hormone wise things have gotten much better. The biggest thing is communication! I would tell DH, "I feel really bitter towards you right now because...." or "I miss......" He could be much more sensative to how I was feeling and what I needed if I told him.  

  I know in the first few weeks I was sooo sleep deprived that once the whole new baby high wore off it was hard to feel happy but you get used to the lack of sleep and it becomes your new normal. Hang in there!   

  

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• lizamanelli!!

  November 2009

  I absolutely HATE my husband right now.  I am not sure if it is hormones or what.  I am way past the one month craziness...I just can't even stand to be in the same room with him.  I resent the fact that his life has hardly changed while mine has changed in every aspect.  I love my daughter, but I am tired all the time and I miss being able to jump in the car and go without thinking anything of it.

  

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