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I'm so annoyed-vent

MadameFancyPantsMadameFancyPants member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

DH works an hour away.  He leaves at 4am and most nights doesn't get home until 8-9ish.  When he gets home, he expects to be able to eat dinner then go to bed.  Most days I end up standing there with our son while I watch him run around trying to get *his* things done before he goes to bed.  At most he will spend an hour with DS before they both go to bed.

I remember him telling me this week that his students don't have classes.  That means he doesn't need to be at work until 9am rather than 6am.  Yet, everyday this week he's been leaving the house as his normal time.  Guess where he's been!  Working out at the gym at work because he "wants to get back into shape!" I've also found out he doesn't need to be there early EVERY Tuesday and Friday.  Same story, he's been going to the gym.  Wanna know what his early days are?  He and his students do PT!  Meaning he gets to work out 5 days (sometimes 6) a week!

That must be nice that he has time to go to the gym while I stay at home all day with our son.  I can't take him for walks right now becuase our stroller is broken and he doesn't have time to fix it for me.  So while he gets back into shape which he wasn't out of anyway... I get to continue being a fat-asss. 

He just called me and told me that he is off work now, but isn't coming home.  He is going to run errands that he's needed to do for weeks (he can do them any day he wants while at work... he chooses not to.)

Please tell me I'm not crazy for thinking he is being super selfish.

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Re: I'm so annoyed-vent

  • Mighty_NuggetMighty_Nugget
    I'd be peeved too.
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  • gigglez178gigglez178
    Your not crazy at all! I would be so mad at my DH for that....I hate it when he has time to do stupid things that aren't even that important rather than spend time with me. Is it so much to ask to just spend some family time with us for a couple hours a day? I'm so sorry your going through this. Hopefully you get this all figured out soon ;)
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  • dragon_chicadragon_chica member
    Sounds like it's time for a talk with DH before you get even more resentful.
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  • Daisy582Daisy582 member
    Men can be incredibly selfish. DH and I had to have a "come to Jesus meeting" about shared responsibilty and about my need to get out every now and then too...even if it is just to the store. Don't be afraid to express your feelings and tell him that you need time to yourself too....even if it is just going to the other room or taking a bubble bath. GL!
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  • juliane2004juliane2004 member
    Id be mad too - its like he's been lying.
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  • tsoystertsoyster

    This is not cool.

    I'd try to have a calm chat with him about spending a little more time at home. You need a break just as much as he does. 

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  • twinks2009twinks2009
    I would be really annoyed...it sounds as if you need to have a "sit down and talk". It may help to have you DH stay home with LO on a weekend without you so he can see how tiring/stressful it can be so he really gets how/why you need help/a break/companionship.
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  • MadameFancyPantsMadameFancyPants member

    imagetwinks2009:
    I would be really annoyed...it sounds as if you need to have a "sit down and talk". It may help to have you DH stay home with LO on a weekend without you so he can see how tiring/stressful it can be so he really gets how/why you need help/a break/companionship.

    He tried to do 100% baby duty last weekend but I ended up doing most of the work because:

    • DH "needed to pee" so I had to finish feeding DS
    • He was in the middle of doing the dishes when DS pooped, so I changed the diaper 
    Stuff like that, that has to be put on hold when it's just me at home.
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  • juliane2004juliane2004 member
    imageMadameFancyPants:

    imagetwinks2009:
    I would be really annoyed...it sounds as if you need to have a "sit down and talk". It may help to have you DH stay home with LO on a weekend without you so he can see how tiring/stressful it can be so he really gets how/why you need help/a break/companionship.

    He tried to do 100% baby duty last weekend but I ended up doing most of the work because:

    • DH "needed to pee" so I had to finish feeding DS
    • He was in the middle of doing the dishes when DS pooped, so I changed the diaper 

    Stuff like that, that has to be put on hold when it's just me at home.

    I know how you feel. Like, I dont want to go out - I just want to relax at home, but if baby is there, that means I have to help DH even if it's his turn.

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  • Kasia&MikeKasia&Mike
    You're not crazy, I would be upset!
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