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Bedsharers- I need your advice...

sarahryandrewlosarahryandrewlo
in Attachment Parenting

So l never ever planned on bedsharing- but it works. And most nights I love it. When I started I put her down in her bassinet first b/c I wanted her to learn how to put herself to sleep. Somehow, that has evolved into me nursing her down in our bed....

So, there are definatly nights where I just want some space and need her in her own crib, at least for a portion of the night. Last night she was all sleepy, so I thought- okay, I will put her in her crib (its in our room) and when she wakes up for her fist feeding, I will bring her to bed. Um, no. I put her down and she squirms and wiggels, I have my hand on her so she knows I'm there but she just didn't settle in. Then I walk away and she wakes up crying.  Ugh. I don't know how or when to transition her...

Another thing is I have been thinking lately that it might be better for her if I move her to her own room to start with then bring her to bed first feeding. DH (and I) like to watch TV before falling asleep and some nights I think it keeps her awake longer. After last night I don't know. I don't want to end up doing a CIO method- but I don;t know how to best start the transition- or when I will now when the right time is....

TIA!

 

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Re: Bedsharers- I need your advice...

  • LaurenNBillLaurenNBill

    I dealt with the same issues (still am in a way). We have recently started DH giving Finn a bottle at night so he can break the nursing association. We started him sleeping in his crib, then would take him to bed when he woke. At least this gives her the comfort at being in the crib. Also did this when I shower to get him used to being in his crib.

    Now, we end up sleeping in a bed in his room, mainly because he is a mover at night and the bed is at the wall. I would try a slow transition if you feel that she'll be in her crib down the line. We still struggle with putting Finn down in his crib again after he wakes the first time. It takes practice and patience, and coffee. Good luck!  

    DS#1~ 6/8/09 DS#2~ 5/12/11
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  • ncbellencbelle member
    I think the best time is whenever it feels right to you.  I have no clue on the "drowsy but awake" method as it never flew with us, but what about getting her to sleep (rocking, nursing, wearing, whatever) and then putting her in her crib?


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  • atlbride23atlbride23

    imagencbelle:
    what about getting her to sleep (rocking, nursing, wearing, whatever) and then putting her in her crib?

    this is what we do at bedtime, and also after the first waking (I nurse them together). Then, after one wakes up, I nurse her in bed. She's usually asleep when the other babe wakes- so we move her to the bassinet and I nurse the next one to sleep in bed.  rinse & repeat 'til morning.

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  • flutiefrostieflutiefrostie member

    Here's how we transitioned (although he does come to bed with us sometimes):

    First I nursed him to sleep and put him in his crib once he was out. If he woke up and started crying after just a few min, I picked him up, nursed him back to sleep, and put him back down.

    After a few days, I started soothing him when he woke up instead of automatically nursing him. He has a lovey and a paci to help with this. I stayed in the room with him with my hand on his chest or back until he was out.

    After a few more days, I started pulling him off the breast when he was still awake but very groggy, and put him down, soothed him, and stayed until he was asleep. 

    Then I would burp him after nursing so he was even more awake (but still kind of bobbleheaded), put him down, soothe him, and stay until he was asleep.

    A few more days pass and I sing him a lullaby instead of nursing him, put him down, stay with him until he's asleep.

    Now I can sing a lullaby, put him down, and leave the room. He puts himself down 4 out of 5 times. If he's having a growth spurt or something, I might have to nurse him to sleep again, but then it doesn't take long to get back to him putting himself to sleep.

    This method is all about teaching him that the crib is a safe place and that you're there for him, so if he does cry, I make sure to go to him right away. If he cries too much (like if I'm in the bathroom and can't get there right away), I have to stay in there with him until he falls asleep for a day or so.

    GL

    DS May 12, 2009 DD September 7, 2011
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