what are you opnions on this post?

MsMoseley · November 2009

thoughts?

C12H22O11 · November 2009

I saw this when it was originally posted and did think it was in poor taste. Doing something like that screams "I want attention".

AtlJuneBride · November 2009

To be fair, I am coming from a place of never having experienced a loss, so IDK how that poster feels. That said, I agree that it is tacky to post a subject line like that but also feel that the poster is being a little sensitive...

mrs_sherod · November 2009

I can see her point, however I don't think it was cause for all of that. I really don't believe anyone is making 'light' of the situation by posting 'time to say goodbye'...it's exciting to know you are no longer in first tri and your chances of carrying the baby to term or higher. Really, I think she's just upset and lashing out at others.

pdxjenn · November 2009

I guess I see both sides... I do not for one second think the post was created to make someone with a late loss feel badly. Although I can see how it creates a "click on me... click on me!!" AW aspect too. Of course there are TONS of posts that are nothing more than attention needing narcissistic BS anyway.

I guess it could be considered in poor taste. Although you can find a way to be offended by just about anything.

goldenleaves · November 2009

I kind of agree with her, but I don't know that I'd make a separate post calling out the OP.

Mrs.tlcS · November 2009

I don't think I ever complained when people posted their losses, but I did deliberately try to avoid reading them in the first trimester - I was extremely paranoid, and didn't want to freak myself out any more than necessary, even though I felt for every woman who lost a pregnancy.

I do remember asking people to put smiley faces in their titles in the past if a "goodbye" post was an "off to second tri" post, but the request went largely ignored. That's fine - I'm not the title police... but I do wish there were more sensitivity on both ends...

MsMoseley · November 2009

goldenleaves:
I kind of agree with her, but I don't know that I'd make a separate post calling out the OP.

this.

I think it was just a bad choice of wording...but i doubt she wanted to make a mockery of pregnancy loss.

JinglesChic · November 2009

I can see both sides of the argument. It's not something I would have written but it's hard to be politically correct 100% of the time.

goldenjes · November 2009

I doubt the poster intended to offend everyone, but it was in poor taste.

Greyfaery · November 2009

I completely agree with the first poster. I think it is inconsiderate, and the title is written to imply something bad, which I am assuming is because she wants more people to read her post.

NiniJ55 · November 2009

mrs_sherod:
I can see her point, however I don't think it was cause for all of that. I really don't believe anyone is making 'light' of the situation by posting 'time to say goodbye'...it's exciting to know you are no longer in first tri and your chances of carrying the baby to term or higher. Really, I think she's just upset and lashing out at others.

Agreed - I don't think the original poster had any intent to "make light" of the situation or trying to be funny. My mind did not automatically go to loss when reading the title of her post (and I have had a loss in the past). I can understand how some could get offended.

ella.mabel · November 2009

I don't have a problem with the "goodbye" posts, however when you pair it with the "NT scan results" it really does send the message that the pregnancy is being terminated. Kinda tacky.

userdeleted · November 2009

I agree with the OP. Those type of posts always irritated me when I was in the 1st tri.

Smootchy · November 2009

mrs_sherod:
I can see her point, however I don't think it was cause for all of that. I really don't believe anyone is making 'light' of the situation by posting 'time to say goodbye'...it's exciting to know you are no longer in first tri and your chances of carrying the baby to term or higher. Really, I think she's just upset and lashing out at others.

this. Although I have never had a loss, and DO feel for those who have... reading "Time to say goodbye" doesn't make my head go to the place. I think, "ok bye...see you in a few weeks when I come over..."

catycombs · November 2009

I just think it was poorly thought out. I am sure she is thinking now that she was flamed.

TXTwisterBabe · November 2009

I can see how some people could be offended by the OP, but I don't think that was her intention. I think with the responses on the thread itself she got that clue, it didn't need a whole other thread devoted to telling people how to phrase their posts/titles. I replied just because I have had a loss and although I found the title to be in poor taste, I can't say I was personally offended by it. It's a public forum...there's not much you can do about it.

xnbride · November 2009

I agree. I personally HATE posts like that where people use dramatic language just to get people to read their post. It is a bit insulting and I always think of the boy who cried wolf. I don't think she is being overly sensitive. It is something that I personally have always wanted to say, but never would. Glad someone did!

myonetruelove · November 2009

I think it is in the eye of the reader. When I saw it I assumed she meant goodbye to First Tri, because NT Scan also means you are close to 2nd tri. After reading the responses I can also see where they are coming from. However; we don't know where the OP was coming from and she could have just been truly excited to be going to the next level. I don't think and hope she was trying to get attention.

Scout05 · November 2009

mrs_sherod:
I can see her point, however I don't think it was cause for all of that. I really don't believe anyone is making 'light' of the situation by posting 'time to say goodbye'...it's exciting to know you are no longer in first tri and your chances of carrying the baby to term or higher. Really, I think she's just upset and lashing out at others.

Well, yeah. Pregnancy loss has a tendancy to make you upset. Try three of them in one year.

But actually I found the post insensitive and I have seen many others worded the same way. It was coupling it with "NT Results...Time To Say Goodbye" that implied the poster had recieved bad news and was going to lose their baby.

As someone who lost their child at an NT screen, I wanted to let her know she was not alone, as someone kindly did for me when it happened to us. To then see "'cause I'm off to 2nd Tri" hit me as tacky and lacking in compassion.

BTW: I recognize so many of you from when I was on 1st Tri. I was a November Ninja. I am so happy for you all and I hope your deliveries go smoothly and that you are holding your babies soon.

MsMoseley · November 2009

ambrandau2:
mrs_sherod:
I can see her point, however I don't think it was cause for all of that. I really don't believe anyone is making 'light' of the situation by posting 'time to say goodbye'...it's exciting to know you are no longer in first tri and your chances of carrying the baby to term or higher. Really, I think she's just upset and lashing out at others.

Well, yeah. Pregnancy loss has a tendancy to make you upset. Try three of them in one year.

But actually I found the post insensitive and I have seen many others worded the same way. It was coupling it with "NT Results...Time To Say Goodbye" that implied the poster had recieved bad news and was going to lose their baby.

As someone who lost their child at an NT screen, I wanted to let her know she was not alone, as someone kindly did for me when it happened to us. To then see "'cause I'm off to 2nd Tri" hit me as tacky and lacking in compassion.

BTW: I recognize so many of you from when I was on 1st Tri. I was a November Ninja. I am so happy for you all and I hope your deliveries go smoothly and that you are holding your babies soon.

Although I understand your point. I dont think she was intentionally trying to make a mockery of pregnancy loss..I think she just had a "foot in mouth" instance.

And I am truly sorry for your past losses.

AggieGrl · November 2009

Meh. Touchy pregnant people. I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks, and I could care less. No reason to call someone out or make a big explosive deal over it.

I don't expect people to walk on eggshells around me because of my m/c. They don't understand, they probably never will, and me forcing the issue or getting upset isn't going to change a dang thing...other than getting me upset. Not worth it. Life's too short.

Scout05 · November 2009

AggieGrl:

Meh. Touchy pregnant people. I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks, and I could care less. No reason to call someone out or make a big explosive deal over it.

I don't expect people to walk on eggshells around me because of my m/c. They don't understand, they probably never will, and me forcing the issue or getting upset isn't going to change a dang thing...other than getting me upset. Not worth it. Life's too short.

Um, yeah. I will admit to being touchy. Can't own up to being pregnant though. Lost my third baby three weeks ago.

I think there is a difference between eggshells and using a little common sense to not hurt others' feelings. But I understand that not everyone agrees.

mrsain1105 · November 2009

ambrandau2:

Well, yeah. Pregnancy loss has a tendancy to make you upset. Try three of them in one year.

But actually I found the post insensitive and I have seen many others worded the same way. It was coupling it with "NT Results...Time To Say Goodbye" that implied the poster had recieved bad news and was going to lose their baby.

As someone who lost their child at an NT screen, I wanted to let her know she was not alone, as someone kindly did for me when it happened to us. To then see "'cause I'm off to 2nd Tri" hit me as tacky and lacking in compassion.

BTW: I recognize so many of you from when I was on 1st Tri. I was a November Ninja. I am so happy for you all and I hope your deliveries go smoothly and that you are holding your babies soon.

See, I just don't believe the OP meant it that way. I think she just didn't think about the fact that it could be interpreted that way. I had a loss before DD, so I get that any reminder can be very painful. I'm truely sorry for your losses, but I just don't think the OP meant any harm.

epphd · November 2009

I think posts like that ARE tacky and ARE deliberate attempts to increase view counts. No one uses ellipses (...) unless they are stringing people along. I am sure the poster didn't intend to be cruel - but she didn't really think either.

How has no one mentioned that DianeN9 was one of the first replies to the original post? She's hanging out on first tri now???

NotEve · November 2009

I would like to think the poster did not mean to imply she had lost her baby but I've seen a lot of people say some pretty brainless things on here so it wouldn't surprise me if it was intentional. I think it is the worst kid of AW.

armourall · November 2009

epphd:

I think posts like that ARE tacky and ARE deliberate attempts to increase view counts. No one uses ellipses (...) unless they are stringing people along. I am sure the poster didn't intend to be cruel - but she didn't really think either.

How has no one mentioned that DianeN9 was one of the first replies to the original post? She's hanging out on first tri now???

Perhaps Diane feels since no one knows who she is on first tri she can have a fresh start.

Personally after reading the original "NT Scan Results....Goodbye" thread, if really did seem like she was going for a "hook" to get people in, why else would the first line be "cause I'm going to second tri!" she obviously knew there were alternative interpretations for the title of her post.

I'm sure she didn't mean it to hurt anybody, she just needs to think a little more about what she's saying in the future. Lesson learned hopefully.

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