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Since advice is today's hot topic....

ncbellencbelle member
in Attachment Parenting

Do you give parenting advice?  I guess I should ask if you give advice in real life ;-)

I do when people ask me questions but I sometimes feel kind of awkward about it.  Like a few weeks ago, I went to the zoo with my cousin and her DD who a bit older than kiddo.  I mentioned that she might bring her babyhawk and I could help her with it, but she didn't.  I just dropped it even though I really wanted to talk her in to giving it a try.  I guess I worry about coming off as "know it all" (especially in this case where I'm older than she is by a good bit and more independent and "worldly" than she is).



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Re: Since advice is today's hot topic....

  • MrsAmersMrsAmers
    I don't give unsolicited advice.  But for friends who have younger kiddos and ask for help, I will let them know what worked for us or let them know that most things are phases.  I've informed many of my friends about the dreaded sleep regressions, reasons to wait on solids and the benefits of nursing past 1.  But I normally phrase it in a "this worked for us, maybe it would help you" and "this too will pass" language.  I never tell anyone what they *should* do, just what they might want to try.
    Heather Margaret --- Feb '07 and Todd Eldon --- April '09
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  • moroccojademoroccojade member
    If people ask?  Most definitely.  They don't have to take my advice, but if they want it I have no problem giving an opinion. 
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    Lilypie - (C6hS)

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  • EcoBabyEcoBaby

    I just dispensed unsolicited advice to my pregnant cousin to get a wrap for her twins Embarrassed

    My sister is older than me, and already has an older kid, but I give her advice about her new baby. She asks though - most of the time. I recently told her to get NCSS and I dispense sleep advice to her that she doesn't take. She did get NCSS though. The poor girl was so tired she was throwing up. I had to tell her something!

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  • suzymariesuzymarie

    Sometimes....

    Not specific advice, more along the lines "well he is just a baby and lots of kids don't STTN until they are toddlers but he will eventually".  Sort of just trying to calm people down and adjust their expectations, if that makes sense.  Not "you should do XYZ".

     

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  • LucyPevensieLucyPevensie member
    I definitely do if asked ... and occasionally (like the other day) I will give a brand new parent unsolicited AP-type advice (let baby sleep wherever baby wants, you can't spoil baby, hold baby a ton it's good for them, they need it) - just to counter the other bullshiit I know is being spewed at them.  But I will only do it once - beyond that it's badgering someone and I won't do that. 
    Wheee!
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    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

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  • alina*mariealina*marie
    I don't have anyone to advise! But even if I did, all my friends are already AP. My bro & SIL are going to start TTC soon (yay!) and she was telling me the other day how nice it is that I'm doing all the research and I can just fill them in! I guess I was also trying to nudge them towards a home birth... but hey that's what big sisters are for!
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  • WiggleBabyWiggleBaby

    imagealina*marie:
    even if I did, all my friends are already AP.

    i'm the opposite... i only have one friend who is AP, so her and i share a lot.  but otherwise i dont give advice to the other moms i have met thru our baby classes since they wouldn't take it anyway.  i guess little things here and there, but only if asked...

    on the other hand, i GET advice all the time!  and i dont want it from them!  i come here for that!  LOL  ughhhh

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  • JimsBride08JimsBride08
    I don't go spouting off everything I think they need to know, but I try to point people in the right direction.  Like if someone's FB status talks about their BFing troubles, I will tell them what book, position, etc helped me.  My friend is about to have baby #2 when her first is only 15 months so I told her about babywearing because I think it would be helpful to her.  Stuff like that. 
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  • cubitscubits member

    My mother friends and I give each other advice, lend each other books, and make suggestions all the time.  We don't do things the same way, but no one is completely of the mark so it works. 

    I have given my pregnant friends some advice, but its always been well received. I try to make sure to lend books instead of just telling them what to read and do things like buy them a box of Raspberry leaf tea and say "I really liked this when I was pregnant, you can find out more about it by going here..."  I do regret trying to help my SIL deal with colic before I had DD though.  I had a colicy brother, but in retrospect I was probably pretty annoying :) 

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