Attachment Parenting

how to choose my words?

DD is not a great sleeper at daycare (as i've posted before), and they usually end up "rocking" her to sleep in a stroller. we cosleep + bedshare at home, and the crib has always been a no-go for her at DCP.

yesterday, she slept in her crib at DC for the first time. they put her down in the crib for a few minutes to play while getting the stroller and attending to another baby. when they came back, DD was asleep!

again this AM, they put DD in her crib to see if she'd nap. her primary DCP said that she fussed for maybe 5 minutes and then went to sleep. DCP said that they just 'let her be' and she went to sleep.

this specific time, i'm guessing it wasn't much fuss or it would have escalated to a serious meltdown fast. (DD is a great screamer :) still, i don't want them to leave her to CIO. how would you talk with DCP about the line between fussing and crying?

[wow, longer than i meant. sorry, and thanks for letting me ramble.]

Re: how to choose my words?

  • I would just come out and ask, but in a non-threatening way. Maybe say something like "she usually cries when we put her in her crib. How hard did she fuss for you?" And see how they answer. That's a hard subject to broach, though, GL!
    DS May 12, 2009 DD September 7, 2011
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  • imageflutiefrostie:
    I would just come out and ask, but in a non-threatening way. Maybe say something like "she usually cries when we put her in her crib. How hard did she fuss for you?" And see how they answer. That's a hard subject to broach, though, GL!

    This and also make sure to ask that they don't put her on her tummy, cause thats normally how they'll put them to sleep if they are fussy to sleep 

  • imagemybabylove2009:
    This and also make sure to ask that they don't put her on her tummy, cause thats normally how they'll put them to sleep if they are fussy to sleep 

    whoa! i would have never thought to ask about that. thanks for the suggestions.

  • My son was/is very quick to jump to freaking out from fussing.  I could tell without even asking if our original dcp was letting ds cry because we would pick him up and he would be doing those after cry heaves.  I sincerely hope for you that this never happens but my point was, we would ask her, and she would never tell us the truth until I walked in one day and she was sitting on her butt watching dr phil with ds in a swing next to hear screaming while she tried shoving a paci in his mouth.  Even then she said it had just started but he was red, and hot and sweaty and that doesn't happen within a minute. 
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  • ugh, everyname! that must have been so upsetting!

    i go to nurse DD at lunch every day, so i spend a fair bit of time in their room. i'm confident that DD + the other kiddos (ranging from 4-13 mos) are NOT being left to cry that all-out. that said, i still want to be sure that we're on the same page. 

    it sounds like you found your DS a new DCP. i hope you found someplace that feels good to you and to him!

  • imageflutiefrostie:
    I would just come out and ask, but in a non-threatening way. Maybe say something like "she usually cries when we put her in her crib. How hard did she fuss for you?" And see how they answer. That's a hard subject to broach, though, GL!

    I think this is a good way to approach things.  I have a DS who generally does need to fuss for a minute or two before he sleeps.  It's how he winds down.  But it is truly fussing and if it escalates to crying, I'm there! 

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