- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Pennylane824
member
NBR: Question about having a fight with DH...
Pennylane824
member
Do you think it's wrong to go somewhere for the night when you and DH have a bad fight?
DD has been sick and colicky and it is wearing on us. We got in a huge fight last night over NOTHING. We let our frustration go and it neither one of us were calming down. He left to go get something to eat and I called my mom and asked her if I could bring DD over for the night. My mom and I are best friends and I just needed to clear my head and talk to her.
When DH came home I very calmly told him that I was taking DD to my mom's to spend the night and I'd call him in the morning.
He said we needed to work it out right then, but more arguing ensued and he ended up telling me that grown, married adults didn't need to go somewhere else after a fight. We ended up working everything out,but it was much more heated.
When we were both finally calm I explained to him that if he had just let me go and clear my head that we could have both had time to realize it was a stupid fight and we would have been able to do that calmly instead of arguing with a baby that was screaming at the same time.
He says he understands now but I don't think he really gets that I was trying to remove myself from the situation so that we could both calm down on our own terms.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR: Question about having a fight with DH...
Everyone has different fighting styles. For my DH & I, going to stay somewhere else would not be an option... it's just not what we'd do. Going to another part of the house to "cool off" -- fine. Leaving the house -- not cool. We also don't share arguments with family members... we've agreed that it's best not to get them involved in our issues.
I think that the important part is for you two to be on the same page and have the same "rules" for fighting, and that's something you have to work out on your own.
I would say that leaving for a an hour is one thing but the night is different. I think that leaving to go sleep somewhere else should only be used if someone is so upset that they feel that if they don't leave they may get physically violent. Overall I think leaving the house because a fight is not good, almost like running away from the situation. Clearing one's head is a good idea but maybe just go to another room for an hour or so then come back to figure out the disagreement.
Staying somewhere hasn't really been an option for us. However last night we also got into a huge fight and I ended up just taking the munchkin in our room where we both fell asleep and DH hung out in the living room. This morning we were able to to talk it out.
If we fight one of us may go sleep in the spare room or living room and then come back to bed in a couple of hours. One time DH left but it was a weird circumstance....our bathroom was being remodeled so we had no toilet. We had to stay at my parents for the night. Before we went over, we fought and DH went and stayed at a motel. I was p!ssed (I think more about him spending the 65 dollars to stay at a crappy motel). I think it had more to do with not wanting to stay at my parents house. It won't happen again because we were both mortified (after the fact) that the fam knew about a stupid fight.