Wait, so your husband cheats for A YEAR

TheAEs · November 2009

and you instantly go to counseling and not divorce court?

This isn't a one time thing, a mistake while on a business trip or a drunken night (none of which are excusable but I could almost understand the counseling then) -- it was an affair for A YEAR. He was doing someone else for A YEAR. While you were pregnant! And had an infant!

Yeah, I can see my first reaction being, "Let's go talk this out."

Holy crap you people shock me.

Kari Merks · November 2009

Perhaps your morals and values aren't the same as others. Some take their vows seriously and don't believe that divorce is the first option. YWIA for opening your tiny mind a little.

: )

JLS0320 · November 2009

Same here, there would be no counseling that could fix that for me, a year of deceit and lying would rip me apart

renebean319 · November 2009

i agree with you.

Garnetbaby09 · November 2009

Oh yea, you're def my new fave AE to hate. Screw you. How dare you judge someone for doing what they feel is best for their family. She's obviously going through a hard enough time as it is. Way to make her feel better about it, ass_hole.

Aprilsies · November 2009

Depends on every situation.

phishphood · November 2009

Kari Merks:
Perhaps your morals and values aren't the same as others. Some take their vows seriously and don't believe that divorce is the first option. YWIA for opening your tiny mind a little.

: )

Yes

TheAEs · November 2009

Kari Merks:
Some take their vows seriously

Her husband is obviously not one of those people.

yo.mama · November 2009

Unless abuse was taking place, counseling would always be my first stop. I would never automatically divorce for cheating. To me, that's something that is fixable and forgivable.

Aprilsies · November 2009

Garnetbaby09:

Oh yea, you're def my new fave AE to hate. Screw you. How dare you judge someone for doing what they feel is best for their family. She's obviously going through a hard enough time as it is. Way to make her feel better about it, ass_hole.

Yes

Shweensickle · November 2009

Kari Merks:
Perhaps your morals and values aren't the same as others. Some take their vows seriously and don't believe that divorce is the first option. YWIA for opening your tiny mind a little.
: )

Merks, I agree with you, but in the case of a cheater, obviously HE didn't take the vows seriously if he's been cheating. Do you think someone in that mindset can/wants to change?

JOEBunny · November 2009

Some people take their marriage vows seriously.... Apparently, you think that yours are dependent on your spouses behavior.

TimingisEverything · November 2009

You know, I hope when your DH cheats on you b/c you are a cold hearted b!tch and show no love and you reach out for sympathy that someone judges your decisions and smashes your face into the concrete.

Geekchick921 · November 2009

I am impressed by her level of committment. I don't think I could forgive my husband for cheating on me for an entire year, during my pregnancy and while we had an infant, especially. An isolated incident, maybe, but a year of cheating... I don't think I could ever trust him again, regardless of how much counseling we went to, and a marriage without trust is doomed, IMO.

clipposmagnificos · November 2009

OMG a woman wants to work to save her marriage. Good Lord, it's her choice.

TheAEs needs to go back to the HAB club.

TheAEs · November 2009

katem3277:
regardless of how any of us would handle the situation maybe we could all practice a little empathy once in a while.

Maybe we could.

But today's not that day.

Shweensickle · November 2009

TheAEs:
katem3277:
regardless of how any of us would handle the situation maybe we could all practice a little empathy once in a while.
Maybe we could.
But today's not that day.

Well, it's not Rex Manning day. That was sometime last week.

Garnetbaby09 · November 2009

TheAEs:

katem3277:
regardless of how any of us would handle the situation maybe we could all practice a little empathy once in a while.

Maybe we could.

But today's not that day.

You seriously suck. I hope the reason you made an AE is because you're bitter your husband is cheating on your, or something along the lines of making you a hateful biitch, otherwise you have no excuse and you need to take a long walk off a short pier, KWIM.

renebean319 · November 2009

TimingisEverything:
You know, I hope when your DH cheats on you b/c you are a cold hearted b!tch and show no love and you reach out for sympathy that someone judges your decisions and smashes your face into the concrete.

wow

goodheartedmommy · November 2009

What's going on? Link?

TheAEs · November 2009

Shweensickle:
TheAEs:
katem3277:
regardless of how any of us would handle the situation maybe we could all practice a little empathy once in a while.
Maybe we could.
But today's not that day.
Well, it's not Rex Manning day. That was sometime last week.

And I missed it?!?!

ffffffuuuuuu.uuccccckkkkk

Kari Merks · November 2009

Shweensickle:
Kari Merks:

Perhaps your morals and values aren't the same as others. Some take their vows seriously and don't believe that divorce is the first option. YWIA for opening your tiny mind a little.

: )

Merks, I agree with you, but in the case of a cheater, obviously HE didn't take the vows seriously if he's been cheating. Do you think someone in that mindset can/wants to change?

If you're that invested in your marriage, I think it's worth saving or at least doing everything you can to save it. And you never know, some people have deeper reasons for cheating (no, I'm not saying cheating is okay) and counseling may help.

karskaren · November 2009

Coming from someone who was cheated on, I don't blame the poster for wanting to try to work things out. When I found out my ex had cheated (was cheating) on me, I had a 10 month old and was 4 months pregnant. My world was turned upside down in a second. We tried counseling, but in the end, he wasn't willing to make it work. I wasn't until after I had the baby, and he turned 5 months old that I could finally accept that divorce was the only option.

Some people take their wedding vows seriously and will do anything in their power to make their marriages work - and I don't think they should be judged for that!

Mando91 · November 2009

Kari Merks:

Perhaps your morals and values aren't the same as others. Some take their vows seriously and don't believe that divorce is the first option. YWIA for opening your tiny mind a little.

: )

Yes x eleventy billion Stick out tongue

TheAEs · November 2009

Garnetbaby09:

You seriously suck. I hope the reason you made an AE is because you're bitter your husband is cheating on your, or something along the lines of making you a hateful biitch, otherwise you have no excuse and you need to take a long walk off a short pier, KWIM.

And I thought I'd hear "I feel sorry for your husband" first. How disappointing!

SparkFish · November 2009

Once you have a child with someone, it's no longer only about what you want and what you need. Good for her for putting her child's needs over her own and trying to make it work with her child's dad. If it's just too much and it doesn't work out, then fine, but at least she tried.

LukyNLuv · November 2009

nemtown · November 2009

I would divorce him, but I owe it to my wedding vows to try counseling first. I know it wouldn't work because I would never be able to trust him again. He obviously liked this woman enough to have a relationship and not just a fling or one-night-stand.

Counseling is what should happen next if you value your wedding vows, but it will probably end up in divorce court.

kash27 · November 2009

Geekchick921:
I am impressed by her level of committment. I don't think I could forgive my husband for cheating on me for an entire year, during my pregnancy and while we had an infant, especially. An isolated incident, maybe, but a year of cheating... I don't think I could ever trust him again, regardless of how much counseling we went to, and a marriage without trust is doomed, IMO.

Yes

AEs - And I don't think you should give her sh*t for it. Every person is different and if she is willing to try and work this out, then good for her.

AEK&BGT · November 2009

Just a random thought but did anyone tell her to go see her doctor (obgyn)first? That really concerns me. If she wants to work things out more power to her maybe it will make them stronger.

rbidi · November 2009

How can anyone be so sure of what they would do? Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling. You can choose not to forgive and move on. But the act of cheating is usually the last straw in a line of other issues. If those issues are not dealt with, you will carry them into any future relationship, and it will manifest itself in different ways. Not excusing him, or blaming her, but there are two sides to every story. Look at Jon and Kate, we hated her at the begininig of the show, now we hate him because he cheated, do we forget her hand in it? There are two sides to every story, don't judge.

LMBESQ · November 2009

I obviously missed a lot last night- can someone post a link?

renebean319 · November 2009

LMBESQ:
I obviously missed a lot last night- can someone post a link?

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/26649341.aspx

Want a personalized experience?

Wait, so your husband cheats for A YEAR

Re: Wait, so your husband cheats for A YEAR

Choose Another Board

Search Boards