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maybe I'm not ready for #2

RahRah
in Secondary IF

i may actually be ovulating (didn't take an opk or have u/s just based on other symptoms tmi) and for some reason i'm not very excited...normally I'd be jumping off the roof because i rarely ovulate.

 

maybe i'm scared - maybe i'm not ready. i don't know. i feel hormonal and

b!tchy today for some reason. boo.

 

i feel guilty for even posting this. i don't know what is wrong with me.

I got pregnant with PCOS after many years of IF! Thank you Lord! Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
m/c 11/2/09
image
*in da bag so far: D90|nikon 18-200|50mm f/1.8|sb700*
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Re: maybe I'm not ready for #2

  • kristyn&kenkristyn&ken
    I see you recently had a loss. It's not uncommon to have those feelings after something like that. I've been there - 4 times.
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  • franciscazfranciscaz member
    Sweetheart you just went through a loss.  Give yourself a break (((HUGS))).  You are still healing!
    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
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  • hoping4morehoping4more member
    I was going to say the same as the PP's. You had a loss and you may have some fear, etc. It's normal and okay, ease up on yourself!
    Our Girls
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    AquinnahDori
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
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  • SeptGirl05SeptGirl05
    ditto everyone else - i'm so sorry for your loss!
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  • sommerraynesommerrayne
    While I agree with PP - perhaps you feel like I do when the realization really sets in for a "chance" like HOLY SH!T THIS COULD BE REAL! And then I get really anxiety filled with all of these feelings of ..... not worthLESSness but "not worthy enough-ness" and feelings of "what if I don't love my subsequent children the way I love Rhayna" or "What if she's always a little more special because she was #1" or "Do I really have what it takes to pull of 2, 3, 4?" or "Maybe I'm just really good at faking being a good mom - maybe I'm not a good mom".....

    Every single insecurity surfaces with the prospect of success for me. Its so different for me this time around - last time I just wanted the CHANCE TO BE A MOM and now I know what being a mom is like and that adds a whole new layer to the stress, excitement, anxiety, worry, fear, joy....

    Just my 2 cents.
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  • RahRah
    yeah i think it's a little of what you all said - i guess i thought i was doing just fine. thanks for letting me vent.
    I got pregnant with PCOS after many years of IF! Thank you Lord! Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    m/c 11/2/09
    image
    *in da bag so far: D90|nikon 18-200|50mm f/1.8|sb700*
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