I'm an emotional mess

cintim · November 2009

Cannot stop crying. PMS this month is in full force I suppose. My chart is ugly & I had cramps last night not to mention being a complete biotch to DH. Then, I found out another 2 IRL friends are pregnant with their 2nd children. I'm not sure why it's bugging me so much as it really never bothered me before. (BTW, I am NOT at all upset over the BFP's on this board, I LOVE the BFP's on this board).

DH called this morning & keeps saying, don't worry, our time will come. I just want to know if it will.

Sorry for the vent. I know some of you may feel I should just be happy I have DD, and I am so thankful I have her, but I still feel such a void. My dreams of having 3 children are slowly dying and I'm just heartbroken that I failed in giving DD siblings. I'm sorry for the vent. I'm not usually like this. I just can't help it today and I just feel so alone.

Thanks for listening if you made it this far.

BAM_2780 · November 2009

I'm so sorry. *big hug. Your cycle isn't over yet though! Sending BFP dust. it could still happen!

Scout05 · November 2009

If anyone so much as hints that you are not allowed to be sad because you have your sweet daughter, I will send Tyra after them. And Wendy Williams too.

I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now. :::Hugs:::

kristyn&ken · November 2009

It's sometimes harder when you already have a child because there's the pressure of having an "only" child or having them too far apart. I've been there (not at all discounting those trying for their first child). Try to hang in there, though. If you need to vent further feel free.

SpeedGlenn · November 2009

kristyn&ken:
It's sometimes harder when you already have a child because there's the pressure of having an "only" child or having them too far apart. I've been there (not at all discounting those trying for their first child). Try to hang in there, though. If you need to vent further feel free.

This.

Everyone's battle is bad. Just because you have a LO already doesn't make suffering a loss easier. Give yourself some grace and mercy and allow yourself to have a bad day. You're entitled. I hope your day gets better.

bebeblues · November 2009

You are NOT alone. THIS IS EXACTLY how I feel!

I always wanted 4 kids---dh always said 3. Even after my intense 17hr labor, dehydration, and c-section w/dd, I was asked at the hospital if I could do it again---and I said before I left the hospital that I still wanted 4 kids.

I feel like I'm "done" with the whole ttc process right now. If I don't see a bfp in the next few days (and I don't expect to), then I really think I just need to give it up.

I'm starting to accept that if I'm not ku again by this time next year---that I'm just having one child. May adopt. Don't know yet.

I have days that I feel really good about everyhting. Days that I think I'm only 27 and I have plenty of time to continue ttc...........BUT then I live w/a very old fashioned SIL and MIL who think if u're not done by 30 then u need to quit. (Girls over 30----you have my FULL permission to flame away at them, bc I personally think that's NONSENSE).

Anyway----------big ((((hugs))))) I totally understand!!!

JaimieLee · November 2009

Aw, I'm sorry you are having such a rough day. (((HUGS))) This whole process can be such a mindfvck sometimes and it is impossible not to feel overwhelmed and hopeless at some point. It's fine to be depressed today, but shake it off and remember that tomorrow is a new day (very cliche, but true). It will happen for you, I just know it!

bebeblues · November 2009

kristyn&ken:
It's sometimes harder when you already have a child because there's the pressure of having an "only" child or having them too far apart. I've been there (not at all discounting those trying for their first child). Try to hang in there, though. If you need to vent further feel free.

This. I totally agree with this. (((hugs))))

cintim · November 2009

Thanks, ladies. I'm sooo thankful for each and everyone of you and this board. xoxoxo

I hate feeling like this, like I'm in a race & am running out of time (I'm 34 and will be 35 at the end of March) & I just feel like a complete failure.

babygirlpriest · November 2009

ambrandau2:

If anyone so much as hints that you are not allowed to be sad because you have your sweet daughter, I will send Tyra after them. And Wendy Williams too.

I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now. :::Hugs:::

Oooh. Wendy Williams - now that's bringing out the big guns!

Seriously hun - our heartbreak is different but who's to say that the guilt and pain over not having any children is any better/worse than the guilt and pain over only having one. The details don't matter - we each find our own way to beat ourselves up with disappointment.

Huge hugs!

Amusjh · November 2009

Oh honey, I am so sorry! Times can be tough and I am thinking of you! Keep your head up!

PeetiePie · November 2009

We all have ups and downs. I'm sorry you're having a rough day.

(((Hugs)))

cintim · November 2009

Thanks again... I'm so fortunate to have you guys and this board. Seriously, you make me feel better and keep me sane, make me laugh and educate me.

ade2be · November 2009

HUGS!!!! I'm so sorry.......this all sucks. I understand how you feel. My DH keeps telling me it'll happen eventually, but I can't be so confident. AF coming this weekend has made me an emotional wreck!!!

rjl07 · November 2009

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time this week. I hope that you know you can vent to us anytime. I wish I had the words to cheer you up, but all I can say is listen to your DH - your time (and all of ours) will come soon.

cintim · November 2009

ade2be:
HUGS!!!! I'm so sorry.......this all sucks. I understand how you feel. My DH keeps telling me it'll happen eventually, but I can't be so confident. AF coming this weekend has made me an emotional wreck!!!

You took the words out of my mouth. I am no longer confident that I will get a baby, with or without help. I'm sorry your in my boat this cycle. I really hope your cycle shortens up so you can have a chance to get a Christmas BFP.

rjl07:
I'm so sorry you are having a hard time this week. I hope that you know you can vent to us anytime. I wish I had the words to cheer you up, but all I can say is listen to your DH - your time (and all of ours) will come soon.

Thank you. I normally dont vent. I'm normally pretty confident. I was so confident this cycle. It was the first cycle I used preseed and just had a feeling that preseed would be the ticket to the BFP. The cramps last night totally crushed me. And DH said something to the effect that he was sure I was definitely not pregnant b/c I was such a b!tch to him and that it was PMS.

KelleyBean · November 2009

We've all had these breakdowns and they are so hard. I know the feeling about being in a race. I just turned 35 last week and my dreams of 3 kids are pretty much done at this point. We're always here to vent and listen. huge ((hugs))

Jmendez83 · November 2009

(((HUGS))) Thats why we're here...to help and support eachother out! I felt the same way last week....especially those "new moms" updating their facebook status every so often...I couldn't stand it....I might be going through PMS myself. Not only that, I went to the movies this weekend with my sister and every preview they showed, I got really emotional and began to cry...now, whats that about. The one movie coming out, DEAR JOHN got me crying...so dont worry...vent all you want!!!

vkbaby09 · November 2009

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. You have every right to be sad and scared even with your DD. I would feel the same way on some days too if I was in your shoes. You still have a lot of time left though - there are a ton of women having successful pg well into their 40s. I hope it happens for you soon.

((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))))

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