Community› The Bump Message Boards› Parenting
Parenting
New Discussion

So, what does "no presents necessary" mean to you?

goodheartedmommygoodheartedmommy member
in Parenting
We went to a birthday party today. I don't know the family well--the little boy is Ethan's "best friend" at our homeschool co-op. The invite said "no presents necessary." I took that to mean "we don't want any more toys in our house." We were the only ones there without a gift and I felt like a complete ass. Should I have taken something anyway? The invites were handwritten, so DH thought maybe she added that to just ours since we don't know the family well?
Report Reply to Post

Re: So, what does "no presents necessary" mean to you?

  • butterbeansmamabutterbeansmama
    I have never recieved an invite that said that, but if I do, I would still go with a present. I would just feel too weird/uncomfortable going empty handed.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • BellisimoBellisimo
    It means they aren't necessary or expected...but a gift is a gift...unexpected and from the heart.  In that instance I'd probably bring a little something like a book or two.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • niecyniecy
    that usually means they want money or something instead but I've never heard it phrased quite like that. Weird
    Report Reply
  • KersbearKersbear
    I would take it to mean that they didn't want people to feel obligated to bring a gift and that your presence was a gift enough for their child.  Honestly, I would not be offended if someone did not bring a gift for Carter to his birthday party.
    imageimage
    Report Reply
  • HeidiseanHeidisean member
    Not necessary but I would read that as "not necessary but appreciated"...I would NEVER go to a party without a gift even if it was something very small.
    Report Reply
  • Temp108743750006959Temp108743750006959
    it prob means its ok if you can't, ok if you do. I wouldn't feel bad. maybe you could call him and plan a special playdate for the two of them at a pizza place or 'jumpers' place and treat.
    Report Reply
  • goodheartedmommygoodheartedmommy member
    I guess I felt that they didn't want a million random new toys in their house that would just collect dust, so they put that on there. I should have asked here before I went. The mom is as nice as can be, so I highly doubt she's mad about it, but I'm annoyed with myself and embarrassed.
    Report Reply
  • #6#6 member

    If I wrote that on invites and people still showed up with gifts I would be so happy if at least one person came empty handed.  :)  Esp this close to Christmas.  I bet mom was glad and the boy probably didnt ever notice. 

    Dont be embarrassed for following the directions. I probably wouldnt have taken a gift either unless maybe it was something like a gift card to go see a movie or something similar. 

    Report Reply
  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member

    imageBellisimo:
    It means they aren't necessary or expected...but a gift is a gift...unexpected and from the heart.  In that instance I'd probably bring a little something like a book or two.

    Ditto this.  I have never received one but would have probably bought books or a puzzle, something small that would not be too annoying to the parents and easy to donate if they really do not want.  IMHO, if you do not want gifts, ask the people coming to bring something to donate...but how the hell you explain that to your young kid is beyond me.

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
    Report Reply
  • Glendi2.0Glendi2.0

    honestly, to me it means, "we are gonna make at least some of our guests feel wicked awkward for not bringing gifts like we asked because  most of our guests will bring gifts. So either you disregard our request or feel like an ass. Your choice." okay, done venting. Can you tell this drives me crazy?

    I totally appreciate the sentiment behind no gifts necessary, but it simply doesn't work. I ALWAYS bring a gift regardless because I refuse to be that one mom at the party who shows up empty-handed. shudder. I do tone down the gift, though... almost always bring just a book instead of a proper "toy" type present.

    ETA: You totally did the "right" thing by requesting the mom's wishes- I don't fault you for that at all; I just imagine it must feel awkward, regardless of the mom being super nice about it, to be the only one not bringing a gift. It's a no-win situation in my book.

    A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. ~Marion C. Garrett
    image7_0002 A ~ 2.7.06 S ~ 9.2.07
    Report Reply
  • AndrewsgalAndrewsgal member

    This is why I can't stand when people put this on invites, because this kind of stuff always happens. I would never show up to a party without a gift. I would say next time take a book.

    Report Reply
  • suzymariesuzymarie

    I write that on DS's invites.

    I mean "he has tons of toys, and plus we just want to enjoy your company at the party, so don't feel like you have to go out and buy a gift".

    In our case (both years) he got a gift from a close friend who told me in advance she was getting him a present, and a few small odds and ends from other people (a card that plays music, a jar of honey from our neighbor who raises bees, etc). But most brought nothing (which was my intent). 

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"