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1st Trimester
Not (exactly) baby related...salary/commission/money freakout--longish
Sorry in advance for what is going to be a long post.
Maybe someone has something they can say to reassure me...I think it's the heightened emotions of knowing I'm now pregnant that's making me react this way. But I am becoming very stressed out about money. This is mainly because of my husband's job. He's in business development and makes base salary plus commission. The commission has the potential to be great and his colleagues and boss have assured him of what he can expect financially--which is very good. However the base salary number keeps sticking in my head and making me nervous, because it's really not enough to support a child. Many of his colleagues have kids and seem to be fine, but...well...maybe they come from money or have wives with high-paying jobs. Who knows.
I work for myself and do just fine, but god knows what my own work will be like once I have a child. I intend to keep working but may have to cut back. Even though this pregnancy was planned and hoped for, I cannot stop stressing about money, to the point of driving DH nutty. I even made an appt with a counselor to discuss my woes. I have visions of being poor or homeless even though we have parental support (emotionally and, if we direly needed it, financial); a nice apartment; savings; retirement; no credit card debt...no major red flags. I am just afraid I will lose work (and won't be eligible for unemployment since I work for myself) and that DH won't make any commission and be stuck with his base, even though this makes him enraged when I bring it up and he insists MANY people these days get commission and bonuses etc. as an integral part of their income.
It causes major stress between us. I am almost crying as I type this because I just want to relax and enjoy my good news but all I can think of is: Can I provide for my child? What if what if what if?
Can anyone relate? Am I being crazy regarding my husband's job? I appreciate all advice. Thanks. Sorry for the spazzy post. Long day!
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Re: Not (exactly) baby related...salary/commission/money freakout--longish
The way I look at it is this:
1. I know there are a lot of people who are pregant or just had a baby with no plan for one and they are WAY worse off than we are now (including my parents back when they had me). They're making it work so we can too.
2. There's NO 'good' time to have a baby. If you wait for one, you'll never have one.
3. No one knows what the future holds. You or your husband could lose a job. You or your husband could get a better one too though.
Relax, ride out the hormones and you'll be just fine. Everything works out. (cliche I know, but true also) You will not let anything bad happen to your baby. Trust in yourself and your husband.
First of all - take a deep breath. It's going to be ok. I know lots of people who are far worse off financially that have happy health kids - so while money is a big deal, it's not everything.
I can totally relate to your worries. DH and I went over and over our finances and whether or not we could afford to have a baby. Ultimately, we agreed we wanted children, and that we'd figure out the money - again people make do with a lot less. Once I got my BFP, we immediately began budgeting what we'd need to do, save, pay off, etc. Is there enough money - probably not to do everything we want and buy everything we want, but we know what we won't have will not be missed once our LO arrives.
As for your husband's job - yes you are probably being slightly crazy (sorry!), but again, it's to be expected with your hormones. While you can't predict whether the jobs will be there, you know that your DH makes a a set amount. So start budgeting based on that amount. Then you won't have to worry about how much commission he's going to make, and everything he does make is gravy! You can then save it for the baby, or use it for whatever you need. It's going to be Ok! Hang in there!
I have a similar arrangement for my pay. ?Some months are great and others suck. ?Just bank the extra from the good months from here on out instead of splurging. ?
All you need to do is start saving now so that you feel like you have a good sized nest egg once the baby gets here. ?If you start to save today as though the baby is already here, I.E. just putting your earnings into savings and test out living on just your husbands pay now, you can get used to the idea before the baby gets here and help build a nice cusion to allay your fears. ?Having a specific plan might help to curb your fears because you will feel like you are more in control.
??