NTR: Would this offend you???

pouka1 · November 2009

Would this offend you? I have a Friend ?in real life? that I thought I was very too close to. I was in her wedding, threw her wedding shower and bachelorette party. She is 5 yrs younger then me, and I have been there for her through a lot of crap. She and her husband have been trying to conceive for awhile and doing IVF. I know all the nitty gritty details from how often they did it, to what the procedures were like, etc. I have been supportive, always lent my ear. Anyway ? she also post on the bump on another board that I follow, so sometimes I will read her posts. Fair ? I think so ,since usually it is something I have already know and second if your posting it on the internet ANYONE has the ability to read it.

Well I came across this post and it really upset me ?my beta is next week? don?t want to be specific as I have an IRL stalker that watches my posts and I don?t want her to know?LOL. If you PM me I will tell you?I know that she will figure it out but let her guess?.I hope you guys don?t mind because you are like family to me and can?t wait to share the news with you??

I assume I am the ?IRL STALKER?. I have never searched for her posts or anything. Am I wrong to be offended? And in my situation what would you do?

JustMarried2005 · November 2009

If you are really close to her and talk about all the "nitty gritty" then I wouldn't assume it was you unless she has been distant or acting weird around you.

Mrs.DMC · November 2009

No...I wouldn't be offended if she wanted to tell me in person. If I were her, I would be irritated if I came across this post. Are you trying to start a war with her?

MegGary · November 2009

Did you tell her you read her posts?

I think it's sad that she consideres people on a message board like family but calls you a stalker. Sounds like she isn't worth your time.

sar17 · November 2009

maybe it's not you(i would ask her if she is that close to you) and if it is then she just referred to a bunch of strangers as family more than you. that makes her an idiot.

olivejuice127 · November 2009

Hmm, are you sure your the only other person she knows on the nest IRL? If your pretty sure it's you I would stop talking to her. Whata ?bia! You were just trying to be a good friend and now she makes you out to be some crazy stalking, I dont think so.

lpennie16 · November 2009

very offended. you guys are friends so to call you a stalker is absurd

of course, she could be talking about someone else

the_mulva · November 2009

assuming it really is you she's talking about, that does sound weird. I mean, yeah, internets.. world wide. It's not like you hacked into her email or anything.

n&bcarlson · November 2009

I don't think I would automatically assume it was me she was talking about. Could be anyone, right? A coworker, her annoying SIL. And what people write in posts and what they actually mean are often two different things. Maybe she just wants to see how many people care enough to pm her. So, offended, no. If you're worried that she is upset with you in some way, I would try talking to her IRL.

Jim&Jaime · November 2009

I would ask her about it by making a joke out of the comment, i.e. "I'm not the IRL Stalker, am I?"

Jays-n-Shane · November 2009

As someone dealing with IF, I can say she probably wants to tell you in her own time and have a chance to come to terms with whatever the numbers are. I told my BFF everything about our IVF cycle, except when my beta was b/c I knew she would be asking about the results that day. I wanted a chance to digest the information and tell when I was ready.

J&A2008 · November 2009

MegGary:

I think it's sad that she considers people on a message board like family but calls you a stalker. Sounds like she isn't worth your time.

This.

nybride0705 · November 2009

It seems like you know alot so I don't think its about you. Is there a reason you are on the other board b/c if you belong on that board (and aren't just being nosy) I would ask her who she's talking about.

NerdBride_D&D · November 2009

If you guys are so close, why didn't you come to her first when you saw this? Talk to her. Maybe it isn't you. If you both know you are on The Bump, why not say you ran across her post and wanted to know who it was - hell, even if it isn't you, don't you want to know? Maybe I am a nosy, gossip girl, lol, but I would want to know. And if it is you, tell her she hurt your feelings, that you have been there for her, but that you can stop because your concern for her is just being used against you and she can go to hell. But it probably isn't you. Either way, until you talk to her, you won't know, so get it over with already to call/PM her.

pouka1 · November 2009

Did you tell her you read her posts?

She knows i read her post becuase i have commented on them before. I am 99.9% it is me because - she really doesn't have any other girlfriends.

pouka1 · November 2009

I can totally understand this.....but it is the STALKER part the makes my blood boil. Also the LOL and let her guess, like it is a game.

Toosdai · November 2009

Unrelated - where did you find the hat that your daughter is wearing in your siggy? I love it.

pouka1 · November 2009

Jays-n-Shane:
As someone dealing with IF, I can say she probably wants to tell you in her own time and have a chance to come to terms with whatever the numbers are. I told my BFF everything about our IVF cycle, except when my beta was b/c I knew she would be asking about the results that day. I wanted a chance to digest the information and tell when I was ready.

I can totally understand this.....but it is the STALKER part the makes my blood boil. Also the LOL and let her guess, like it is a game.

pouka1 · November 2009

Toosdai:
Unrelated - where did you find the hat that your daughter is wearing in your siggy? I love it.

Thanks! i got at crew cuts (jcrew for little ones) last year on clearance.

pouka1 · November 2009

Toosdai:
Unrelated - where did you find the hat that your daughter is wearing in your siggy? I love it.

Thanks! i got at crew cuts (jcrew for little ones) last year on clearance.

sar17 · November 2009

pouka1:
I can totally understand this.....but it is the STALKER part the makes my blood boil. Also the LOL and let her guess, like it is a game.

what is the other board you follow and why?

NewlywednOhio · November 2009

Right now-- you are assuming. You know what happens when you assume.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Jays-n-Shane · November 2009

pouka1:

Jays-n-Shane:
As someone dealing with IF, I can say she probably wants to tell you in her own time and have a chance to come to terms with whatever the numbers are. I told my BFF everything about our IVF cycle, except when my beta was b/c I knew she would be asking about the results that day. I wanted a chance to digest the information and tell when I was ready.

I can totally understand this.....but it is the STALKER part the makes my blood boil. Also the LOL and let her guess, like it is a game.

Honestly, whenever I've seen someone refer to a person they know IRL that reads their posts here, stalker is used 95% of the time. I really don't think she meant anything by it (I read that post before this), but I agree with the others that you should talk to her.

Jays-n-Shane · November 2009

pouka1:

Jays-n-Shane:
As someone dealing with IF, I can say she probably wants to tell you in her own time and have a chance to come to terms with whatever the numbers are. I told my BFF everything about our IVF cycle, except when my beta was b/c I knew she would be asking about the results that day. I wanted a chance to digest the information and tell when I was ready.

I can totally understand this.....but it is the STALKER part the makes my blood boil. Also the LOL and let her guess, like it is a game.

Honestly, whenever I've seen someone refer to a person they know IRL that reads their posts here, stalker is used 95% of the time. I really don't think she meant anything by it (I read that post before this), but I agree with the others that you should talk to her.

pouka1 · November 2009

sar17:

pouka1:
I can totally understand this.....but it is the STALKER part the makes my blood boil. Also the LOL and let her guess, like it is a game.

what is the other board you follow and why?

The other board is Infertility. I can't have anymore children, so i follow it because we have talked about the possiability of suragecy which would mean someone else carrying our child by IVF and this board has tons of info. I follow that just like i also follow the adoption board - for information and guess a little hope.

nbjenni · November 2009

I would post on that thread "So is it ME or some other random person"

fIowerchild · November 2009

pouka1:
I can totally understand this.....but it is the STALKER part the makes my blood boil. Also the LOL and let her guess, like it is a game.

This is the part that would upset me, IF she is referring to you. If she is, this is really, really silly.

I'm sorry that you were hurt. From what you've said, you've been supportive, lent an ear, etc. Perhaps some distance is in order. (and stop looking for her posts)

ougrad1 · November 2009

It would hurt my feelings and I would respond to the post in a light hearted way to let her know that you've seen it.

Geekchick921 · November 2009

pouka1:
sar17:

pouka1:
I can totally understand this.....but it is the STALKER part the makes my blood boil. Also the LOL and let her guess, like it is a game.

what is the other board you follow and why?

The other board is Infertility. I can't have anymore children, so i follow it because we have talked about the possiability of suragecy which would mean someone else carrying our child by IVF and this board has tons of info. I follow that just like i also follow the adoption board - for information and guess a little hope.

Wasn't hard to find her post either. I'll be a stalker with you, pouka.

punkfiction_v.3 · November 2009

Mrs.DMC:
No...I wouldn't be offended if she wanted to tell me in person. If I were her, I would be irritated if I came across this post. Are you trying to start a war with her?

wtf? she is asking for advice bc she is hurt.

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