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I need a place to vent because nobody seems to get it.

docmay25docmay25 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I feel like everyone here may understand my feelings.  My dh, although comforting and kind...doesn't get it.

I am coming up on the 5 year anniversary of losing my son, Samuel.  I found out at a routine appointment that his heart stopped.  I was almost 36 weeks, healthy pregnancy with identical twins.  I had an emergency c-section to deliver my son Jack, who was healthy and samuel who was stillborn. 

The first year was so hard.  The next birthdays more tolerable.  But this year is unbearable again.  It may be because I just had a miscarriage a month ago.  I am still grieving the loss of that baby and not being pregnant.  Now dealing with the anniversary coming up, holidays, my survivor's birthday.

To top it all off, my brother called last night to say that SIL is pregnant.  It was like a kick in the stomache.  I am happy for them because they have had a long road of ttc.  But no one seems to understand how hard it is for me to not be pregnant.  Also, we won't be ttc anytime soon. 

Thank you for listening...it always helps to get some of it out.

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Re: I need a place to vent because nobody seems to get it.

  • Temp950106187509203Temp950106187509203 member
    {{hugs}} That's so much to deal with all at once.  Anniversaries are always hard, I think, but yours is extra-tough, it sounds like, because it makes your surviving son's birthday so bittersweet.  Coupled with your most recent loss and your SIL's news rubbing salt in the wound, you are absolutely within your rights to be having a tough time of it.  You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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