Anxiety...I feel like I am drowning

BartsGirl · November 2009

I have to get this out before I explode...

I have owned a home since I was 23 years old. I have never once been late paying my mortgage. I made excellent money...I never had to worry. I got married, we had our sweet little boy and I made the decision to SAH. I do not for one second regret that decision. I am happy at home. I work part time, and couldn't even go back to my previous career even if I wanted to bc of the economy.

But I am scared to death right now because of our financial situation. My DH is a teacher. Teachers here make nothing...because of the economy this year they did not get their yearly experience pay increase, plus all (small) bonuses were cut. They charge over $700/month for the state health plan...that is more than 1/4 of our take home pay. We need to sell our house, but the market slump has made it so we would have to come to closing with money. We don't have that money.

I applied for mortgage modification in August. It was supposed to take 6-8 weeks to go through underwriting...it has now been 14 weeks and still no response. I have called 4 times to check on a the progress and keep hearing the same thing, " You have sent in all of the papers we need, but it is still in review." Ok, but I am going to not be able to pay you soon, so CAN YOU FREAKING HELP ME FIND A WAY?!?!?

I feel ill. My heart is pounding. I want to cry. I know that won't help, so I just sit here watching Grey's Annatomy wondering WTH I can do. Thanks for "listening".

seawatch06 · November 2009

You will get through it. We just short sold our condo and it took 9 months of negotiating and waiting to hear back from the banks once we found our buyer. It was HORRIBLE, plus because you have to stop paying your mortgage for them to even pay attention to you, our credit also lowered. In the end we still believe it was worth it because we literally could not fit in this place after we have baby #2 so we can't hold out until the market goes up again and it is worth WAYYYYY under what we paid for it, so we could never sell normally. Anyway... we finally are wrapped up and renting for awhile and could not be happier. But during, I seriously thought I was going to have a panic attack every day. Hang in there. Hugs.?

DG1 · November 2009

Might be time to get a part time job. Or a full time job that has better insurance coverage (or at least cheaper coverage).

Also time to cut corners on everything - cell phone plans, cable, internet, eating out, grocery budget, the whole deal. Set clear expectations with family that Xmas will be VERY light this year - even suggest skipping gifts for each other completely.

Might also be time for DH to give up the teaching dream. It's great that he wants to do that, but if you can't pay your bills, he might need to suck it up and take a higher paying job for a while (or add a PT job after hours).

I'm sorry money is so tight. The Money Matters board on the Nest is very good at identifying places you can save. It'll suck for a while, but not as much as losing your house, you know?

Good luck!

missamy713 · November 2009

I'm in a similar situation -- became a SAHM, then last spring my husband lost his job.

If you'd like to vent more, feel free to email me at missamy713 at gmail dot com.

I hope your lender lets you know about your modification soon. Our first application went fast, they said we didn't qualify because we weren't behind, but they would like to talk to us about refinancing. So I called, and they said we didn't qualify because the only income we had was unemployment. Well, yeah, I said that on the dumb modification application. The second modification application is when we were told everything looks great, not a lot of debt, our expenses were well below our previous income, and if we could just come up with more income they'd be able to do something for us. Yeah, well, we'd been working on coming up with more income for 12 weeks; apparently, they didn't understand we were in a recession then. ETA: At the time, my husband had found a full-time job that paid 60% less than what he was making previously. We'd been told by our lender and Hope Now, that if we could have someone employed full-time in our home, then modification would work. It didn't though. Apparently, we needed to come up with the same income as before to qualify. Though, how this was supposed to be possible, I'm still not sure. Why would we ask for a modification, if we could still afford our loan??

A guy on the phone even told me "Well, ma'am I don't know what it's like there in Idaho, but here in Georgia, anyone can find a job." Hmm... well apparently, I should move to Georgia, because I'd been applying to jobs ranging from gas station attendant to teacher. I received letters saying "Sorry we're not filling the position anymore" or "Thank you, but you seem overqualified for the position." Great, thanks, not like I needed the money anyway.

Anyway... all I'm trying to say is, I understand what you're going through. Just know you'll be ok, someway, somehow. At least you're being proactive, a lot of people see trouble coming and don't do anything about it.

Sorry for the ranting... I just get so frustrated with our situation.

BartsGirl · November 2009

Not that I'd ever wish this on anyone else, but it is nice to know that someone understands the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach right now.

I am working part-time, and I will not ask my husband to give up a job that he loves. It took him too long to find it. I'd rather sell my house and rent and have a man that loves what he is doing. I'm not trying to be rude pp, so please don't take it that way. I just would rather have deal with this for now so that he can continue to a long career of happiness.

I am going to send more paperwork to them to update my file, and hopefully that will put us back onto the radar.

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Anxiety...I feel like I am drowning

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