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Wake

krazikat99krazikat99
in Single Parents
My grandfather passed away on Monday. The wake is tonight and the funeral tomorrow. My H will not come to either and help me with the baby at these events since we are separated. He says he doesn't feel comfortable. How heartless can a person be? I feel totally overwhelmed doing this by myself. 
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Re: Wake

  • ValAndRyanValAndRyan

    I am so sorry for your loss! I'm also sorry your H is being a douche about it too.

    With that said, you can do this!! It will be hard but you will absolutely get through this. Is there anyone you know that may be available to babysit? If you are really stuck, I'm sure your baby will be ok at the wake and funeral.

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  • akedawakedaw member
    I am so sorry for your loss.
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  • nire99nire99 member
    I'm sorry for your loss.  My grandfather passed away when DS was two months old.  I took him to the wake and barely had to hold him because so many people wanted to see him.  Everyone was so grateful that I brought him and it really helped make the day easier for my family.  I hope this will be the same case if you take your LO with you.
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  • GettinNervousGettinNervous
    I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. I have 2 little ones and am divorced, so I know how hard it is to take them places by yourself. Since you are going tomorrow with your child and know he won't be there to help you, having the baby with you might be a nice distraction from being at a funeral. I know that I get very anxious about attending funerals, and I'm always a basket case, crying all over the place. So maybe holding your baby will be soothing for you . . . I'm just trying to give some encouraging words.
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  • saraprodriguezsaraprodriguez
    I am so sorry! It's so tough...I swear sometimes I think they just want to make things difficult! Hang in there.
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  • krazikat99krazikat99
    My daughter brought a smile to many sad faces. I am glad she was there with me. My grandfather loved her dearly.
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  • BabyMenzelBabyMenzel

    im sorry for your loss,

    and im sorry to be a debbie downer,

    but put your feet in h's shoes. technically he's not REQUIRED to be there. you're separated. how uncomfortable would you feel knowing that their family knows you're not together anymore and you were to show up.

    he probably does feel bad and not comfortable being there, but doesn't want to be the "downer" and have people talk behind his back saying/thinking "why the eff is he here if he's not even part of the family anymore." 

    this is what happens when you become a single parent. you have to do things on your own

     

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  • JoyousJuliaJoyousJulia member
    Do you have a relative you're close to (like a sister or aunt) who could help you wrangle you're LO? Around here LO's are welcome at wakes and since it's mostly family, there's always someone there to lend a hand even if you have to go alone.
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