Community› The Bump Message Boards› Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New Discussion

Couldn't stop crying at work last night

ala_1220ala_1220
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Last night was my 3rd night back and the other 2 nights went fine.  But, last night my friend who was due the same day as me was there.  I had anxiety all night about seeing her.  I was able to avoid her until about 9 hrs into our 12 hr shift.  I cried and cried knowing I need to go talk to her and I can't avoid her.  She is one of my closest friends, who also had 2 previous M/Cs, and I am sooo happy for her, and she totally understands what I'm going through and what I'm fIeeling towards her.  So, I sucked it up and went into the area she was in.  While talking to her, I was fine, but I cried and cried again as I walked back to my area. 

When talking to DH about it this morning...he doesn't understand...he told me I need to stop acting like that towards her...and I feel bad for feeling that way...but it's soooo hard right now.  I want that to be ME!!!  I have so many unanswered questions about what happened and finding out I have multiple problems...I'm so scared that is NOT going to be me.  He kept telling me to stay positive...but again, that is so hard right now...esp. since we don't have all the answers.

Tonight we are going to a fundraiser for a school for children with disabilities, particularly Down Syndrome...I do this every year since my bff has a daughter with Down Syndrome...but this year is going to be VERY different since we found out our own little girl had Down Syndrome.  I hope I can keep it together tonight.  I've been a mess all day since seeing my friend with her cute pregnant belly and mine is flabby and I have to go buy new pants because the one I was going to wear doesn't fit.  :-(

image

GEAUX TIGERS!!!

1st pregnancy: BFP- 6/28/09 - Found out we lost our little girl on 10/9/09 at 19w 4d - D&E- 10/14/09

June 2010, corrective surgery for Septate Uterus and large fibroids

2nd pregnancy: BFP- 10/18/10 - Slow rising, non-doubling HCGs, no heart beat. Non-viable pregnancy, D&C- 11/12/10

Started Metformin 6/30/11, Started Clomid 7/20/11 - Unsuccessful

HSG and Laparoscopic surgery revealed blocked tubes and lots of scar tissue...IVF here we come!!!

Surprise BFP naturally!!! IT'S A BOY!!!

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Report Reply to Post

Re: Couldn't stop crying at work last night

  • schen0510schen0510

    ((INCREDIBLY HUGE HUGS))

    I know it is hard having to see a friend that is due the same time as you.  You are much braver than me.  I have a friend at work that is at the same time we were schedule to have the boys.  We use the same OBGYN and we were planning on having our husbands take the fathering class together...they were so excited.  I have run into her a couple of times at work but I try avoiding at all costs.  I was even scheduled to be in a group with her and I went to the girl making the arrangements and asked if it would be at all possible for me to switch.  I am supposed to be pg too!  My DH doesn't get it either although I think he is trying.  

    The fundraiser tonight will be tough but you will make it through.  I know it stinks to not have answers but I promise that it stinks to have answers too.  We know DH has moderate OATS, we know that the stars need to align perfectly in the sky during a total eclipse of the sun in order for us to get pg on our own, and we know that our boys were absolutely healthy when I went into labor.  They can't find anything wrong...and that stinks too.

    Stay strong tonight...let us know how it goes.

    ~Sandy

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Amanda78Amanda78 member

    I am so sorry.

    My neighbor upstairs from me us due 10 days before I was and I hide anytime I hear anyone in our building coming or going.  I still haven't spoken to her and I wanted to die the only time I've had to face her DH.  you are a good friend for putting your own feelings to the side to talk to your friend.  Of course you'll be happy for her-but its so hard not to feel your own pain.

    Good luck at the fundraiser tonight.  Let us know how you do.  And buy some cute new pants that make you feel good-it doesn't matter what size they are!

    BFP 4/23/09. D&E 7/17/09 16W5D. BFP #2 3/10/10. EDD 11/15/10 Babycakes was born 11/5/10! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • marisslynmarisslyn

    I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I think it is totally natural, you are looking at something you lossed. My dh's brother's wife is pregnant and I can not be around her right now. I would be so proud of myself for being able to talk to her. You are very strong. I think some men just don't get all the emotions we go through, the loss is totally different for us.

    I hope you have a nice time at the fundraiser.

    Baby boy, you are forever loved and missed. 19 weeks 2 days 10/14/09 Partial Molar Pregnancy Lucas Glenn 12/18/10
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"