- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
MSC03
member
A day late: Stillbirth/Late Loss/Infant Loss Check-in
MSC03
member
I'm sorry everyone--I'm a day late on this. I'm totally swamped at work, but it should be lightening up in the next few days.
I'm sorry this is way less formal and I can't post the full list right now, but I wanted to check in with everyone and see how they're doing.
What's on your mind today?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: A day late: Stillbirth/Late Loss/Infant Loss Check-in
It's been slightly over a week since I had my natural m/c and I'm kind of surprised at the emotional progress I've made already. Don't get me wrong, it's still hard even talking about seeing people on tv pregnant and people we know IRL that are pregnant. But I feel like I'm moving along at a good pace.
I'm also kind of upset that some people on the bump that I've known for almost 2 years have not even bothered to acknowledge that I've had a m/c when I know for a fact they were on around the same times that I have been and have seen my post(s). It really bothers me and is very hurtful.
I don't usually post in response because until now, I didn't know where I fit on the list. Now that I know it was a CMV infection that caused all the problems with the baby's development I am thinking constantly about the numbers.
1-4% chance of contracting a primary infection during pregnancy
40% chance of passing infection to the baby
30% chance that the infection would be fatal
The fact that I was exposed to this and parvo virus (fifth's disease) in my first trimester after my daughter being in daycare for 2 years has me wondering how my luck could really be that bad. I felt better about things when I thought it was just some fluke error that occured during a critical period of development.
Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11
D&E @ 22w 9.30.09 CMV infection BFP 10.15.10 C/P 4w4d
I am somewhat amazed at how well I'm doing considering we just found a week ago our baby's hb had stopped. I've not done much socially, but each day I think I am really healing a little.
I feel down when I think of the chances of a missed m/c after seeing a hb and think this was a one in a million loss. That hurts. I guess I just hope we won't have that kind of odds again.
Overall, lots of ups and downs. Trying hard to focus on the ups. Hope everyone is doing well, or as best you can.
Missed m/c 11.09 | Missed m/c 3.10 | We miss you & love you so.
~ ~ ~
Formerly toddandjulie
I am doing okay. We have had a really emotional week.... for a handful of reasons. My EDD will be in only 2 or 3 weeks.... I really not looking forward to the holiday season.
I found out on Sunday monring that DH thinks that he caused our baby's death. That he is responsible. I know it is not true- but, he doesn't. I have started counseling... and will be pushing him to do the same. I can't stand to see him hurt like this !
I am still very angry that my daughter is gone. I know that I have some depression issues- but, I am working on turning things around.
DH agree to start ttc in December- but, I am not sure if it will really happen yet. Time will tell...
I am doing ok. The one month mark was really hard - it was all I could think about for days. This last week I have been better, but I find that I will do great for a while then just be a mess again. I am anxious about going back to work, but I like food and having a roof over my head so off I go in two weeks.
I was really focused on having a happy holiday season and have done a bunch of things to prepare (shopping, cleaning the house, small projects that have been laying around forever) so that I could relax during December. Well yesterday I found out my sister is going to Afghanistan for a year. 2009 is officially the worst year of my life.
Every one, say it with me: f-you 2009, hurry up and get here 2010.
So today I am thinking of a co-worker that has to make a decision as to whether or not she is going to terminate her pregnancy at almost 24 weeks due to severe fluid on the brain. My heart is breaking for her as I know how devastating it is to lose a LO.
Everyone on here has been so helpful with my questions regarding this so I also wanted to say Thank You! DH and I did not have to make this kind of decision...our boys just decided to come. I appreciate everyone's support!
Today?... packing & making sure we have everything ready. We leave for the cruise in Nolan's memory Tuesday morning and work every night until we leave so I need to finish this all STAT. I'm real excited to see what the next month has to bring us.
Oh, and I was just thinking how annoyed I am with the type of Mom I am. I have pictures of me at his grave vs at the park. And now when I see sunsets, I tell Nolan
"Thank You- good job tonight"
WTH, I shouldn't even be thinking that because Nolan should be HERE not THERE. Sounds stupid, but I am getting real annoyed by this baby in heaven thing... he should be with US.
Anyways, I am done rambling.
I am so sorry to hear this. I was hoping your co-worker would get some good news. She will be in my thoughts for the next weeks.
As for us... We are doing ok. I still have my days, although they are turning into bitter, angry days instead of sad, crying days. I am not sure if that is healthy, but it is the truth. We had the boy's 2 month birthday last week. It was hard, but we survived. I have decided that I am so much stronger than I ever knew I was. I would have never thought I would make it through all of this.... but I have... and I am proud of me for that. Overall, we are still taking everything one day at a time.
We are still working on our FET, and pray that we will get a BFP right before Christmas. I am honestly scared to death it wont work... and 2009 will officially be the worst year of my life. If it doesn't work, we have to do IVF again... and I am terrified.
9/13/09-Twin boys born at 23 weeks due to Pprom.
Ethan and Jacob-our beautiful angel babies lived for 11 minutes and 23 hours.
Single embryo FET 12/2009-BFP! Blake born 8/2010 at 39 weeks after 36 hours of labor and an emergency c section < IVF 2- BPF! Due April 27th Our Story
I think that's my problem today...I'm becoming bitter. I hate it.
My daugther was stillborn at 39w5d Nov. 18. Still don't feel like it really happened. My husband and I are doing kinda ok but our families are devastated. My pregnancy was uneventful and so my doctor strongly suggested that we do the autopsy and we are. I know it will not change anything to how we are feeling. We saw her yesterday for the last time and made funeral arrangements. She was soooo beautiful, she had he fathers nose and my mouth... I just want her back.
I know it's too early to say but we've decided that we do not want any children. Maybe we'll change our minds in a year from now but just to see my husband in so much pain is killing me. and I don't want to see him feel this way ever again.
thanks for listening