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Now I really feel like an ass

PixiestxPixiestx
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I don't know if anyone remembers, but a week or 2 ago I posted about doing something spiteful and not saying congrats to someone who had a baby because it felt sh!tty that he never said sorry or anything at all when we lost the baby. 

Today he asked me if "I was still running".  You know, the way you ask a pregnant person how they are doing.  Crap. I am a total ass. He didn't say anything, not because he lacked the balls to deal with an uncomfortable situation, but because he doesn't know.  I didn't tell him right there because I was so taken off guard, and there was someone I had never met standing right next to him. 

Here's a lesson for you, never assume anything and becareful allowing yourself to be inconsiderate of others, you might regret it and feel worse later on. 

Brenna Married 4.30.05

Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11

imageLilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

D&E @ 22w 9.30.09 CMV infection BFP 10.15.10 C/P 4w4d

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Re: Now I really feel like an ass

  • SonadoraSonadora member

    Oops.

     I'd just seek him out a little later and let him know...I'll bet he'll feel like an ass too.

    BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

    BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

    BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15


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  • far_more_than_rubiesfar_more_than_rubies

    I remember your post.

    Please don't be too terribly hard on yourself.  We can't get everything right all of the time, and after a loss, you say things and think things that might be more intense than usual because you just are more intense than usual.  

    Miscarriage 10/25/2009 Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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  • AppleRidgeAppleRidge member

    Are you sure he didn't mean that as "how are you holding up?" or "are you still kicking?"  Meaning, are you doing ok? 

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    4 early losses 2009, 2010, 2015.  Baby #1 born 2/13/11.  
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  • PixiestxPixiestx

    I talked to someone who eats lunch with him all of the time and nope, it seems he really doesn't know because if he knew, it would have been through the person I asked. 

    Brenna Married 4.30.05

    Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11

    imageLilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    D&E @ 22w 9.30.09 CMV infection BFP 10.15.10 C/P 4w4d

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  • Amanda78Amanda78 member
    I'm sorry you now feel worse.  Don't give yourself guilt over this-because really how could you know?  You're hurting and you are allowed mis-steps. 
    BFP 4/23/09. D&E 7/17/09 16W5D. BFP #2 3/10/10. EDD 11/15/10 Babycakes was born 11/5/10! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • StaribethStaribeth
    Don't be hard on yourself at all! I am sure he will understand when you talk with him- if you choose to. If you don't want to talk with him, let it go and move on. He might not have even thought anything about it in the first place. GL
    Three losses in 2009, a miracle in 2010! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker The Method to My Madness, a PPD blog
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