To the pro-CIO moms...

AdamsBride_2Be · November 2009

How long do you suggest letting LO cry it out? A friend of mine said she tried CIO and her son cried for over 2 hours. When do you say "enough is enough" and try again the next night? I'm just scared it will be too heart wrenching to hear my future DD cry for 2 hours. I DEFINITELY want to let her CIO, but not sure how long I should give it?

butterbeansmama · November 2009

We had to do it one time for naps at 6 months old. He cried for about 15 minutes. We never had to do it again. We were lucky!

Tink310 · November 2009

You definitely still?indiscreetly?check on them to make sure they aren't making themselves sick, but I really think you'll be able to play it by ear. DH has already had experience with two babies, so I'm sure he'll be stronger than me about it. ?

Alexandra*sMom · November 2009

With DD1, I would do 5 min, check on her, 5 min, check on her, etc. Then 10 min, etc after a week or so. It worked quickly with her. DD2 it never worked. She would wail so hard until she puked. She could go over an hour until you picked her up and rocked her - or until she puked. I rocked her until 20 months when she got bunkbeds and STTN in her twin bed (the bottom).

Calibride31304 · November 2009

The one awful (yet sucessful) night that we did it, DS screamed for 3 hours straight, fell asleep for 3 hours, and then screamed for another 3, at which point I go him up since it was 6am. They can't cry forever and they do get tired at some point. I would suggest reading the book by Dr. Ferber before you do it. He has tons of helpful tips in there. We only had to do it because DS1 was so dependent on the pacifier to go to sleep that nobody was getting sleep anymore. It was not a healthy situation. One awful night when he was 6 months and now he sleeps 7-6:30/7 every night.

Ciconrad · November 2009

Well, first I do not advocate it until at least 6 months and only then if your child clearly has self soothing behaviors (sucks a paci, has a favorite blankey, etc).

We did it with DS at 7 months and were fairly lucky that the first night only lasted 50 minutes and second night was 25 and he has STTN since then (obviously some bad nights here and there because he was sick or teething - but as a habit, has been STTN since 7 months). I don't think I could have lasted much past an hour and a half but I know people who went 2-3 hours (and yes, their kids are completely normal, well-adjusted happy toddlers or pre-schoolers).

Unfortuantely, when they cry that long you are in a lose-lose situation. You dont' want them crying for that long but going and comforting them and then trying it again the next night will in all likliehood just make the process tougher (they think eventually you WILL come - even if its 2 hours later - and will keep crying even longer). It's one of those things you are going to have to just make a decision on once you are in the situation and know your own child and your own limits.

jessie55 · November 2009

My upper limit was always an hour, but I don't think it ever took that long. He was also 10 months old when we did sleep training. I would recommend 'Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child' and Ferber to read up on it.

three4me · November 2009

MrsJulieT:
Well you don't CIO for 2 hours straight. You go in an offer comfort in different time lengths. The longest DS every cried was about an hour. Again we went in after 5, 10, 15, 20, etc minutes. We did not just abandon him in there for an hour.

We did this with DD. Let her cry for 5 minutes, go in pat her, rub her for less than two minutes then leave. Let her cry for 10 minutes, same thing. Then 15, then 20. Best thing we ever did! Now she sleeps 12 hours a night.

Ciconrad · November 2009

MrsJulieT:
Well you don't CIO for 2 hours straight. You go in an offer comfort in different time lengths. The longest DS every cried was about an hour. Again we went in after 5, 10, 15, 20, etc minutes. We did not just abandon him in there for an hour.

Well, I think this depends on what approach you take. Most approaches do suggest a "check-in". We started with 5-10 min "check-ins" with my son and after the 3rd one realized it was only making it worse for him. He would get more worked up for 3 minutes after we went in there, only to start to settle down, just in time for us to go back in there. We had much more success by letting him just cry. Of course we never had to go more than 45-ish minutes. If he had gone 2 hours, we probably would have gone back in. We did have a video monitor so were able to make sure he was ok in there without actually going in.

My advice to the OP - if you get to the point of wanting to do CIO (and you may not - some kid's are great sleepers!), get a few books, read up on the different approaches and stick to one that you feel comfortable with.

Sam78 · November 2009

I highly recommend you read at least the chapter of Ferber's book about soothing to sleep. I know that tonif has a scanned copy, you could ask on 12-24 though I haven't seen her recently, someone may have it (I recently deleted my email from her). For us, it never took more than 30 minutes (the 1st night) and we were done in 3 nights.

wildflower865 · November 2009

45 mins to an hour. Read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It's very dry, so read it before LO comes, but very helpful. If you see sections you think you can skip, you can, also read the summaries at the end of the chapters. I read it cover to cover just in case and they really repeat themselves a lot.

JenGK · November 2009

CIO isn't something you should just "wing". Read some books and educate yourself on the theories behind it, when to implement, and how to implement. Ferber and Healthy Sleep Habits, both recommended by PPs are good. The Baby Whisper is an even gentler CIO approach. After reading, you can develop a plan with which you are comfortable.

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