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Super shy kid? Anyone?

mikeandmonicamikeandmonica
in Parenting
Does anyone have a super shy kid?  DS1 is super shy when in a new situation.  When we had our early childhood education screening he wouldn't talk at all.  He would point to things and answer questions that way, but he didn't want to talk at all.  I KNOW that he knows the answers to the questions, but he didn't want to talk at all.  As soon as we left, he answered all the questions (like brother is a boy, what is sister?) - but he didn't want to talk to the lady.  He talks at daycare to everyone (home daycare), but he just doesn't want to talk to others until he gets to know them a little better.  Does anyone have experience with that?  And advice?
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Re: Super shy kid? Anyone?

  • mikeandmonicamikeandmonica

    Please don't read this and not reply - give me some kind of feedback!

    And we are talking with early childhood education about more in dpeth screening, etc. - I just want to get other first hand experiences.  Thanks!

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  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member
    I think this is pretty common in little people.  My DD is very outgoing, but she is definitely the exception (almost to a fault, since she can be overly friendly).  Many kids we encounter are this way and I have to tell DD to back off.
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  • FriskyPandaFriskyPanda
    I mentioned it to DD's pedi at her 2 yr appointment.  He said they don't worry about selective muteness (mutism?) until they are 3.
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  • KatesmamaKatesmama

    I didn't want to read and ditch.  But I don't have much to say.

    I was a painfully shy child. I outgrew it eventually and now I'm a loud mouth.  There's still hope.
    The only thing I can think of is to maybe give him lots of encouragement to say please and thank you to the check out clerks and waiters/waitresses.  Maybe before you go into a store tell him if you say please and thank you to the clerk you can have a sucker on the way home.  K will do anything for a sucker. 

    Wish I could add something else.  Good luck. 

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  • Angela814Angela814 member

    DD is like this. I was like this as a kid. I am now able to have conversations with random people. :)

    I find that I really need to prep DD on the situation. I need to tell her all about what to expect, and then usually she'll come out of her shell a little sooner. I think being in daycare helps too.

    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
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  • muchlovemuchlove

    My DD is what I like to call "slow to warm up" and has always been this way. Like your DC, she is mostly fine around people she knows, but even with them, sometimes she is a little quiet at first. When she is at ease she is a real ham-puts on shows with enough theatrics for an Academy Award.

    I worry a little because I don't want other people to write her off as "shy" or "unfriendly". I do think it's not that uncommon and that most educators, at least, are familiar with the difference between shy and delayed.

    I am trying to just accept this as her personality type and I try very hard to not make excuses in front of her in social situations-because I really don;t want her to feel bad. I also don't want another kid to feel bad, though so sometimes if she is with another more outgoing litle kid I will explain "Kate is feeling a little shy right now, I think she'd like to just watch you playing for a few minutes before she joins in". 

    I also find that sometimes preparing her for what and who she is going to see when we go places helps a bit. In some situations, (like when she sees relatives she hasn't seen in a while) I tell her that it's OK if she feels a little shy at first, but she has to say hello or wave. 

    I have found that it has gotten better since she turned 3.

    I recommend "I Brake For Meltdowns". Some really good tips on the subject.

    GL

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  • aiMommyaiMommy
    My DD is very shy too. Thanks for the ladies who posted here, I learned something too!
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  • KellyMichelleKellyMichelle

    My DS isn't like that at all, but I was horribly shy as a child (and still am to a point).  I hated talking to people I didn't know and most of the time wouldn't.  I remember being even more self conscious when people made a big deal out of it.  I know that my mom really worried about me and struggled with my shyness.  

    I kind of outgrew it.  In school I had my close friends and didn't talk to others that much.  By college I learned to make my own way and I got much better.  

    None of this is advice, I guess I just want you to know that shy kids turn out ok.  Try to support him and build his confidence (not that you don't).

    Kelly, Mom to Noah 8.27.05 (born at 26 weeks)
    image
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  • mikeandmonicamikeandmonica

    Thanks guys - we do try to not make a big deal about it when he is around, and we try to not use the "shy" word and say something like "He is feeling a little quiet right now, but maybe he'll want to talk with us a little more in a bit." or something like that.  Thanks for responding though - I'm happy to not have a ton of looks with no responses!

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