For those who have to go back to work

aocain02@yahoo.com · November 2009

Do you ever start to feel guilty that you will have to go back to work after your LO is born? I feel blessed I can take 6 months off but the thought of going back to work makes me sad. It makes me think of all the firsts I could miss out on. I know it will just get worse too.

mrs_sherod · November 2009

I don't feel guilty, just sad! I know we could not afford to just live on DH's salary. I'm taking 12 weeks...I know it won't be enough time, but that will have to suffice. I was thinking about this the other day...I wanted to cry.

rapst1 · November 2009

I think about this all the time. But, then, I feel guilty for wishing I could stay home, b/c then we would lose out on that extra money. It's not fair. I hope it will get easier once I actually get back to work (although, I try not to think about that, I don't want it to come too soon)

redheadedgirl · November 2009

Please remember that some of us will "choose" to go back to work. This does not make us bad people.

armourall · November 2009

Wow 6 months! Yes, I always wanted to be a SAHM but life happens. When I start to feel guilty, I think about how things will be 5 years from now and how it will all be worth it in the long run. I think that LO will be grateful in the end.

bracystake · November 2009

Unbelievably, I feel guilty for having to leave work because it's my busiest time of the entire year. I'll be working from home after a month, but odd that I should feel guilty about work. I'm sure I'll feel so much worse the other way around when I have to start back up full time and leave DD in daycare.

vmm0016 · November 2009

I am sad too but we just can't afford for me to stay home. DH got laid off and his unemployment runs out in Feb. I have to work and he has got to find a job by then!

lilbit923 · November 2009

No I don't feel guilty. I'm thankful I have 5 weeks of time saved up. I missed out of a lot of firsts with my son when he was tiny. I missed the first tooth, first crawl, first step, first Christmas morning because I worked patrol and was a single parent. I got to see pictures of all of these things when I would pick my son up from my parents house or I'd get to hear about it over the phone.

Now that things are a bit different for me, I will get to be with Emma on maternity leave a week longer than my son. I'd love to take half a year off but DH needs my income too...so I will suck it up and we'll make it. It will make me appreciate that time I do have with my daughter that much more.

Lola'sDogMom · November 2009

Um yes. Everytime I look at daycare info I end up with a panic attack and last week I threw up after calling a few. I am trying to keep things in perspective (like we will lose our house if I don't work). I only get 8 weeks off and it's really, really hard to think about leaving a LO that young. I sneak over to the Working Moms board sometimes and get inspiration from those who make it work- I think a lot of them still feel the guilt but are proud that they have a profession and contribute to their families outside the home.

uofibabe · November 2009

mrs_sherod:
I don't feel guilty, just sad! I know we could not afford to just live on DH's salary. I'm taking 12 weeks...I know it won't be enough time, but that will have to suffice. I was thinking about this the other day...I wanted to cry.

This is how I feel but I think I would be bored out of my mind at home. I need the interaction at work with people. And I make twice as much as DH does so I really dont have a choice - I have to go back to work!

epphd · November 2009

Right now, not at all. I want to return to work - I love my job and I can't imagine not doing it. I know that my feelings may change once the baby is here, but considering the whole "happy mom/happy baby" thing, I think that me returning to work will be best for us.

Also, I work with a TON of moms around my age. ALL of them have returned back to work. I think it says a lot about how supportive my job is of working moms, and that is a big comfort.

whitward87 · November 2009

redheadedgirl:
Please remember that some of us will "choose" to go back to work. This does not make us bad people.

Noone thinks you are bad for going back to work, but it's still emotionally tough thinking about working when LO is so young. I am sure you have some of these feelings too.

jenny1980 · November 2009

Keep in mind that some of us enjoy our careers and are making the choice to go back. I am sure there will be times it's tough to juggle family and motherhood, but I don't feel any desire to SAH full time.

And no, I do not feel guilty.

CJ2008 · November 2009

I'm in the not guilty but sad boat as well. I will only be going back part time, and while I'm at work DH will be watching LO (he's finishing school, I work at a job where schedule is flexible) so it will give him time by himself to bond with LO, which makes both of us happy. But I will definitely be sad to go back!

Court1 · November 2009

Just a 2nd tri lurking over here on a slow day at work. As a second time mom this time around, I can tell you ladies that I was the exact same way as you when pregnant with DS. I can happily tell you that with an 18 month old I'm thrilled to be working full time & love getting to be me in addition to mommy. This was after spending 6 months at home before starting my own business, so I have seen it from both sides. Hang in there, it can actually be a good thing

justrachet · November 2009

I don't feel guilty for going back to work. Me working means my family has a roof over their heads, food on the table, clothes to wear, etc.

I am sad, though, that I'll miss out on a lot of Nate's life. Thinking about him possibly taking his first steps at daycare or saying his first words to his daycare teachers instead of me being there for those things breaks my heart.

shimmerairbrush · November 2009

I wont feel guilty for going back to work at all. Infact, i'll probably be ready to. We could make it work with out my income if we had to...but i don't want to change our lifestyle. I like the fact that my ds1 plays a sport every season, that takes money we wouldn't have if i didn't work. He enjoys the activities and i love watching and supporting him. I like that i don't have to spend the extra time & effort searching for deals and clipping coupons...i just don't have the patience for that. But most importantly, i like the fact that LO gets the experience of daycare and early socialization. But all of this is just personal preference for our lives. And i can definitely see the advantages of staying at home. But feeling guilty about wanting to give LO the same life experiences as ds1 has/had, i don't.

redheadedgirl · November 2009

whitward87:

redheadedgirl:
Please remember that some of us will "choose" to go back to work. This does not make us bad people.

Noone thinks you are bad for going back to work, but it's still emotionally tough thinking about working when LO is so young. I am sure you have some of these feelings too.

Agreed. My husband and I are in our mid-30's and both have jobs we love. Our thinking has been since we got married that if we were lucky enough to have kids then we wanted them to see work didn't have to be an unwelcomed part of your life and that you should pursue something that makes you happy and contributes in some way. I think this is a good model for a child to see working. But yes I agree that someone other then me or her dad will get her little smiling face everyday does make me sad?.

Mrs.BoomBoom · November 2009

I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about it. We need the income but I know I'll miss a lot. I also know that DH will miss WAY more than I will which makes me sad.

I'm glad I'm a teacher so I can play SAHM for at least part of the year.

lifesadance · November 2009

We are lucky in that my husband (a full-time student) was able to get all night classes for the spring so our LO will at least have one parent home almost all of the time -- there will be about 2-4 hours per week that we'll need a babysitter, due to my work schedule -- for a while. So, I don't have any guilty feelings, but...

I do feel incredibly sad that I'll have to go back to work so soon. I might even have to go back as soon as 8 weeks after the birth. I don't earn time off very quickly and I've only worked for the company for 2.5 years so I don't have a ton of time saved up. We had some large unexpected expenses this year that depleted our savings a bit and with what is left, I really don't want to run it dry just to stay home with the baby. It's really hard being the mom and the only working parent. Someday, after he's done with school, DH will take over as the "bread winner" but for now it's on me... if going back to work early is what I have to do for my family then I will do it. /

MamaMandaW · November 2009

I don't feel guilty. I am sad that I have to leave her, and sad that I am not able to spend more time with DS..

But I am more ANGRY at myself for making poor decisions when I was younger (credit cards, 2 new cars, other debt) that is now holding me back from what I have always wanted to be, a SAHM..

Without those debts we would be more than able to live on one salary.

lifesadance · November 2009

bracystake:
Unbelievably, I feel guilty for having to leave work because it's my busiest time of the entire year. I'll be working from home after a month, but odd that I should feel guilty about work. I'm sure I'll feel so much worse the other way around when I have to start back up full time and leave DD in daycare.

I have "leaving work" guilt too. Our dept. just did some major lay offs and I was lucky to keep my job. The ones who got laid off will be gone as of the 1st of December and within a week or two of then I will be going off on maternity leave. Without them we will already be short-staffed and super busy but then I'll be leaving my shift to pick up even more slack for me.

aegrimm · November 2009

From an ex SAHM who is now a working mom:

There are times when it's really tough. And there are days when you just want to pull LO into bed with you and pull the covers back over your head and snuggle him/her all day long (or, as long as a squirmy toddler will let you, lol)

But, most days it's not so bad. And, it gets easier as the weeks go on. You will learn to make the most of the time you spend with LO. I kind of relate it to the time I spend with DH: we (obviously) can't spend every waking moment together because we both work(not to mention, we would probably kill each other)but, when we have time together in the evenings or the weekends that time is special. My time with DS is special, too, and I feel like I make it "count" that much more because I don't have as much.

I had 3 weeks of vacation time to burn last November so I took it all at once and I can honestly say I am a lazy SAHM. I tend to have the "I'll do it tomorrow" attitude and I know DS would suffer if I stayed home. He loves his preschool and comes home happy everyday, so I don't have that guilt.

Besides, the highlight of EVERY afternoon is when I open the door to his classroom and hear "MOMMYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!" and see a streak of child charging at my legs to wrap me in a bear hug. It's the best part of my day.

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. DS and I are VERY close, and he's in daycare about 10 hours a day.

That rambled a lot, but I think I got my point across....lol

goldenleaves · November 2009

I don't feel guilty. I know I'll be sad though. I'm only going back part time. I waitress. I think I'll feel really guilty in August when I start nursing school, just because I know it will take up a lot of my time.

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