I am becoming terrified of BFing.

whitward87 · November 2009

All throughout this pregnancy I have had my eyes set on BF my LO, but after reading horror stories of baby biting your nips, not getting a good supply, not feeding them enough, the horrible pain, I am really second guessing it. I seriously look up to anyone who can BF because it scares the crap out of me. Can anyone give me the pros and cons of EBF and EP? And some good tips about EBF? Some encouragment too? TIA!

luvmagoldn · November 2009

I think it's kind of like learning to drive a car. You are hesitant, scared of breaking something/hurting someone and need a lot of practice. Most people go on to drive well with minimal hiccups.

Now if you look at the whole picture there are cars that break, fender benders and horrific crashes that happen. You will experience some of that but most of the really awful stuff will probably not happen to you (statistically speaking).

The best advice I can give is to stay calm, line up a lactation consultant in case you run in to problems and give yourself and the baby time to learn how to breast feed. Set small goals. Mine was to make it to four weeks. Then from there set another goal. It can be overwhelming to say that you will make it to one year when you are still trying to figure out how to get your LO to latch correctly!

Good luck to you. You can do it!

arob2009 · November 2009

Im not gonna lie, the 1st two weeks were awful for me. I had scabs on my nipples, I got mastitis, and everytime DS latched on, It felt like I slammed my nips in a door. However, I just kept in mind that everyone said it would get easier, and it has!! There is still a little discomfort sometimes, but otherwise, it's easy. And, I LOVE BFing. I LOVE that it is something only I can do, and LOVE just being able to provide for DS. It was totally worth it.

madhatter2003 · November 2009

that is the best analogy ever!

It's really not that bad. Sure there is a learning curve. Sure that learning curve *might* be super duper hard. But it might also be very very easy. You have no idea until you try.

I would NOT go into EP based on fear of BFing. Try bfing first. Work on the issues with a good LC. Keep EPing as the 'backup' option if latching, etc doesn't work first.

I think on here everyone sees the 'bad' side of bfing since people are asking for help. No one posts the good side....maybe that's what's missing. I love it, I have not had any issues at all this time around (DD was a different story), etc. Maybe we do need more positive posts, but trust me it's well worth the effort to learn.

4realyo · November 2009

My best advice would be to join a nursing support group so you have a counselor or someone to talk to. Also research & find a good LC before having the baby. That way you have this stuff lined up for help when/if you need it. Take what the nurses in the hospital tell you with a grain of salt -- I was told all kinds of misinformation, including that my latch was correct because baby was getting milk. When I finally got a good private LC, turns out my latch was wrong & my nipples are shot to hell which is making it a lot harder.

rpm2009 · November 2009

I felt the same way. I had heard such horror stories and so many of my friends had been unsuccessful I was sure it wouldn't work for me. Fortunately, it has been pretty problem free, my son had a pretty good latch right away. Even with having a good latch, the first 2-3 weeks is hard -- physically and emotionally. I just tried to stay calm and patient as possible. I echo people recommending asking for help the minute you have a question / concern but even with asking questions - trust your instincts. Good luck.

AutumnBride929 · November 2009

It's like L&D. No two situations are the same. Don't let others' experiences affect your goal. Oh, and go to an LLL meeting! You will find great support there.

beckytr · November 2009

I took a BF class before ds was born and i also saw a lactation consultant when he was 5 days old. I think seeing the LC immediately really helped. I think it is also really helpful to have friends IRL or on the bump as a breastfeeding support group. I think ppl tell you BFing is hard because they don't want you to just quit when it gets hard - they want you to know it is hard for everyone and that it does get better and easier. I think EPing must be way harder than EBF. If you EP, when your baby gets up in the middle of the night you have to pump and feed the baby a bottle. IMO pumping is a real PITA - I am dreading going back to school and having to pump in Jan.

amstephens · November 2009

I was unsure of it too. But had great support from my side of the family. So thought I would at least try it. It wasnt the easiest thing but I always thought about all the benefits I had learned in the bf classes I took and how it is the best thing for LO. It DOES get easier and it is completely worth the rough times you go through in the begining!

angel555 · November 2009

This is like all the crap you hear on the news: you hear (and remember) all the bad stuff, but very little of the good stuff. It's just human nature to talk about and remember more of the bad. That doesn't mean that the good doesn't exist--it does, you just have to dig for it. (which you're doing, so good for you!)

As a pp said, the first two weeks sucked for me. (Pardon the pun) I didn't have any major problems with latching, no breast infections, etc. I had a little trouble with sore nipples at the beginning, but rubbing a little of my milk on them after each feeding, and letting them dry cleared it up within days.

It was just emotionally and physically draining to have to feed this small defenseless thing 12 times a day around the clock, day in and day out, without a break. It was especially hard because I was recovering from an unscheduled C-section and didn't have anyone but my DH to help. (Your lesson: line up a post partum doula! I will be next time!)

That being said, it's gotten slowly better and better as the days and weeks have rolled by. There have been many highlights, but the best have been:

- seeing DD fall asleep at my boob at around a month old, and seeing her smile in her sleep--a preview of the first smile we were so looking forward to.

- At 2 1/2 months, having her pop off my boob, look up at me and GRIN, then pop herself back on. It was like she was saying, "Hey, Mommy! You've been up there all this time! Who knew? Love you!!"

- At 3 1/2 months, having her repeatedly pop on and off my boob to look around and finally notice her surroundings and be so excited by them. I know that doesn't sound fun, but it didn't hurt at all.

- At nearly 5 months, after mastering the art of nursing while lying on our pillowtop mattress: Gazing into each other's eyes, and seeing her smile at me, not once but three times, with the nipple still in her mouth. So darling. . .

- The whole time, knowing that I can offer her something no one else can--comfort and food. You can't replicate that kind of comfort by using a bottle.

- Seeing her get bigger, stronger, and what I call "pudging up". I'm so proud of her baby fat rolls, in a way that I don't think formula feeders could ever imagine. And I'm sure its diffeerent for EP, too.

As for pros for EP, the only ones I can think of is that you can be a little more independent from your kid.

The pros for EBF are endless: It's way more convenient than bottles: bottle washing is a giant pain in the ass. We only wash one bottle a week, to cover while I work from the house part time, and it SUCKS. Babies get 8-12 bottles at the beginning--that's a LOT of extra work. Not to mention the sterilizing of the pump assemblies. And also, there are beneficial nutrients in breast milk that stick to bottles and bags, so your baby won't ever get those nutrients unless you feed her directly from you.

Yes, it's hard to find a place to breastfeed when out in public sometimes, but it doesn't compare with having to store and transport breast milk. One less thing to carry with EBF, since you have to bring your boobs along anyway!

One final thing: just because you're hearing other people have these problems, doesn't mean you will. And granted, it won't be without its challenges, but EBF is so worth it if you can put up with those few challenges. And I think you can; after all, has pregnancy been perfect?

knedell · November 2009

angel555:

This is like all the crap you hear on the news: you hear (and remember) all the bad stuff, but very little of the good stuff. It's just human nature to talk about and remember more of the bad. That doesn't mean that the good doesn't exist--it does, you just have to dig for it. (which you're doing, so good for you!)

As a pp said, the first two weeks sucked for me. (Pardon the pun) I didn't have any major problems with latching, no breast infections, etc. I had a little trouble with sore nipples at the beginning, but rubbing a little of my milk on them after each feeding, and letting them dry cleared it up within days.

It was just emotionally and physically draining to have to feed this small defenseless thing 12 times a day around the clock, day in and day out, without a break. It was especially hard because I was recovering from an unscheduled C-section and didn't have anyone but my DH to help. (Your lesson: line up a post partum doula! I will be next time!)

That being said, it's gotten slowly better and better as the days and weeks have rolled by. There have been many highlights, but the best have been:

- seeing DD fall asleep at my boob at around a month old, and seeing her smile in her sleep--a preview of the first smile we were so looking forward to.

- At 2 1/2 months, having her pop off my boob, look up at me and GRIN, then pop herself back on. It was like she was saying, "Hey, Mommy! You've been up there all this time! Who knew? Love you!!"

- At 3 1/2 months, having her repeatedly pop on and off my boob to look around and finally notice her surroundings and be so excited by them. I know that doesn't sound fun, but it didn't hurt at all.

- At nearly 5 months, after mastering the art of nursing while lying on our pillowtop mattress: Gazing into each other's eyes, and seeing her smile at me, not once but three times, with the nipple still in her mouth. So darling. . .

- The whole time, knowing that I can offer her something no one else can--comfort and food. You can't replicate that kind of comfort by using a bottle.

- Seeing her get bigger, stronger, and what I call "pudging up". I'm so proud of her baby fat rolls, in a way that I don't think formula feeders could ever imagine. And I'm sure its diffeerent for EP, too.

As for pros for EP, the only ones I can think of is that you can be a little more independent from your kid.

The pros for EBF are endless: It's way more convenient than bottles: bottle washing is a giant pain in the ass. We only wash one bottle a week, to cover while I work from the house part time, and it SUCKS. Babies get 8-12 bottles at the beginning--that's a LOT of extra work. Not to mention the sterilizing of the pump assemblies. And also, there are beneficial nutrients in breast milk that stick to bottles and bags, so your baby won't ever get those nutrients unless you feed her directly from you.

Yes, it's hard to find a place to breastfeed when out in public sometimes, but it doesn't compare with having to store and transport breast milk. One less thing to carry with EBF, since you have to bring your boobs along anyway!

One final thing: just because you're hearing other people have these problems, doesn't mean you will. And granted, it won't be without its challenges, but EBF is so worth it if you can put up with those few challenges. And I think you can; after all, has pregnancy been perfect?

This was so encouraging to me. I have planned to ebf when ds arrives from day 1 because I know it is best for him and it makes the most sense (after all, our bodies were designed for this), but I have always thought bfing was weird, scary and a little gross. I have been reading a ton of books to educate myself about all different aspects of parenting and all of them are very pro breastfeeding which has helped. I am starting to think less about how weird it is and more about what a wonderful experience it can be, and your post was perfectly inline with that. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to encourage some of us moms-to-be

lizardct · November 2009

Don't be terrified! Ben and I had a fantastic experience with BF right from the start, and I didn't wean him until he was 20 mo and my pregnancy made nursing too uncomfortable. I never had a problem with cracked nips, infections, or biting. Pumping is definitely a PITA, and it seems that pumping and bottle-feeding from the start is a slippery slope that makes it hard to continue. Having a LC help you out within the first day or two after the birth is really a help- so is bringing your boppy or extra pillows to the hospital so you can get DC up to the right height to nurse. Of course it can be challenging to be the only person who can feed your baby- but the breastfeeding relationship you develop is unmatched.

brainwashxx · November 2009

I think everyone has different experiences too. Some babies will latch and have almost little problems BFing and mom will produce enough milk and have no problems. It just depends. I would recommend atleast trying it

daisybride** · November 2009

Don't be terrified. There are some people who have an easy time and some who have a hard time. I had a really hard time with DC#1 but I still am BFing DC#2. After the initial rough patch, it was all SOOO worth it - I wouldn't trade it for the world!! Just give it an honest try and try to relax!

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