Parenting

My dd has never eaten a fruit or vegetable or meat.(LONG VENT - anyone in similar situation?)

She's turning 4 next month. Seriously. We have given her a f/v on her plate for almost every meal since she was 18 months old. She has yet to put one in her mouth. We've tried ONLY giving her fruit or veg for a meal or snack, and she just won't eat. She's gone two days without eating before. She'll watch us eat ice cream for dessert yet still refuses to do anthing but lick the fruit or veg (and tell us she doesn't like it).

Occasionally she'll eat a chicken nugget, but not very often, and only when prodded. Never eaten any other meat.

She ate fruit & veg babyfood, but refused to eat it as finger food. We stopped giving her babyfood at 18 months because we figured she'd never eat it if we kept giving her baby food.

We've had her evaluated- apparently she has sensory processing disorder. They tell us we are doing everything right. Well, if that's the case, why the heck isn't she eating these things by now.

We took her to a naturopathic doctor who said she has food intolerances- they may be causing her to feel bad which results in her not wanting to try new thngs. Well, we've taken out dairy, egg whites, and wheat. Yet, she still doesn't eat anything new.

It makes me angy and sad and leaves me feeling hopeless. The worst part is other parents judging me and assuming that I've made her this way.

As her 4th birthday is approaching, I cannot believe it's been another year with no improvement.  She gets enough supplements that I am not concerned about her general health, but I do I worry for her being the 'weird' one. It makes me really sad.

Just needed to vent.

 

Re: My dd has never eaten a fruit or vegetable or meat.(LONG VENT - anyone in similar situation?)

  • I am so with you!  Michelle will eat a banana once in awhile...chicken nuggets is the only meat she will eat but wont eat regular chicken.  and no veggies either. 

    I do give her the V8 fusion juice but still its not the same thing.

    Josh-10/1/87, Brittany 3/9/91, Mandi 7/26/92, Michelle 9/11/06 image I'M GRAPE JELLY- ALWAYS AROUND & ALWAYS THE SAME If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me. For I must be traveling on now. Because there are too many places I've got to see. -Allen Collins & Ronnie VanZant My favorite verse!
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  • That must be frustrating. What does she eat? My cousin's kid would only eat hotdogs for a long time. He eventually outgrew it, but my cousin is still kind of bitter about people who just assumed it was HER fault the child didn't have a balanced diet.
  • I'm sorry! :(  that has to be really hard!

    what will she eat and drink?  

    maybe time to see another specialist...maybe they'll have other suggestions. :( 

    Sisterly love--Sophia (1/14/07) and Baby Margaux (7/13/10) image Doctor in training! :)image
  • ((hugs))  I can only imagine how tough that is for you.  Sounds to me like you are doing everything you can.
  • i am really sorry. would she qualify for food therapy? my friend's son has been in food therapy for over a year and it's been a slow -- but successful -- process.

    about her being 'weird' -- we're all weird! it's best to let 'your weird-flag fly!'

  • My 3 year old is the same except she does eat meat. She has some sensory issues as well. I know my friends think it is my fault but we are doing the same things you are. Hang in there. I have no advice and I've really quit hoping it will get better.  Just do the best you can.
  • If she doesn't eat fruit, vegetables or meat and youv'e removed dairy and wheat from her diet, what on earth does she eat?

    Also, have you heard of Ellyn Satter? She has a website and several books, all of which I've heard absolutely great things about. It might be worth seeing if your library has any of her books- I think that this would be a good one to start with: 

    https://www.amazon.com/Child-Mine-Feeding-Love-Sense/dp/0923521518/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258474152&sr=8-2

  • imageEliseB0323:
    That must be frustrating. What does she eat? My cousin's kid would only eat hotdogs for a long time. He eventually outgrew it, but my cousin is still kind of bitter about people who just assumed it was HER fault the child didn't have a balanced diet.

    Here's her list. She likes cheese & yoghurt as well, but she's on a no dairy/wheat/soy diet per the naturopath.

    She?ll eat wheat free/dairy free varieties of the below:

     

    bread / toast (no nuts/seeds)

    cold cereal (several types)

    muffins/quickbread (no nuts/seeds/fruit chunks)

    french toast with syrup

    pancakes with syrup

    french fries, ketchup

    mashed potatoes

    potato / tortilla chips

    Knorr Autumn Vegetable soup (the only soup she'll eat- has dairy but we still give it to her sionce it's also the only veg she eats)

    pasta with margarine (no sauce)

    ice cream (vanilla only)

    peanut butter / sunbutter

    cake, icing (no sprinkles, etc)

    candy: gummy bears / lollypops /marshmallows only

    Cookies (no chocolate chips, nuts, etc.)

     

    very rarely:

    chicken nuggets  

    boiled/baked potato

    rice

    fruit smoothie

     

    drinks: Almond milk, juice, water

     

  • How is her weight?  If her weight is good, I would not worry too much.  Just keep serving.  My DD hates to chew.  Everyday, she gets a smoothie made with a fruit, peas, and peanut butter.  She pretty much lives off peanut butter.  She eats no meat and very little grains or veggies other than the peas in her smoothie.
  • imageCleoKitty:

    If she doesn't eat fruit, vegetables or meat and youv'e removed dairy and wheat from her diet, what on earth does she eat?

    Also, have you heard of Ellyn Satter? She has a website and several books, all of which I've heard absolutely great things about. It might be worth seeing if your library has any of her books- I think that this would be a good one to start with: 

    https://www.amazon.com/Child-Mine-Feeding-Love-Sense/dp/0923521518/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258474152&sr=8-2

    Yes, I've read her books, and are following her methods. (Which is why we are told we are doing everything right).

  • imageJOEBunny:
    How is her weight?  If her weight is good, I would not worry too much.  Just keep serving.  My DD hates to chew.  Everyday, she gets a smoothie made with a fruit, peas, and peanut butter.  She pretty much lives off peanut butter.  She eats no meat and very little grains or veggies other than the peas in her smoothie.

    Her weight is actually a bit better since we started the restricted diet- now she almost always gets something she likes for a meal since she can't always eat what the rest of us are eating. She was hovering around 31/32 lbs for ages but since August when we started the new diet, has gotten up to 34/35 lbs. 

    She would literally go all day at daycare without eating because she didn't like what they were serving. I refused to send any special food because she needed to learn to eat what they served. Now that I send food for her every day, they are amazed at how much she eats.

     

  • THANK YOU EVERYONE. I am already feeling better.
  • Right there with ya!  DS has food intolerances and had frequent EIs as a baby, which the occupational therapists told us made him afraid of food and a bit sensitive to textures.  He is still pretty afraid of food, which is so sad to me. But, we have had good luck with food chaining in order to get him to adopt more foods to his diet.  He mostly eats just chicken nuggets, turkey bacon (that's a recent addition), sunbutter or soy cream cheese and strawberry preserves sandwiches, buckwheat pancakes and french toast.  He used to eat apple sauce, but won't touch it now.  From time to time he'll eat a fruit puree popsicle.  I even give him baby food from time to time, but he won't really touch that anymore. He used to eat melon, but won't touch it anymore.  Although, if I put it in a mesh feeder, he would.  He has never eaten a real veggie.  But, he decided all on his own that he wanted to eat pasta about 6 mos ago.  so, we're making slow progress.

    Honestly, I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it gets to me.  I just refuse to fight about food in our house.  Other things are much more important to me.  His ped says he's healthy and that is what is important, right?

    ETA: DS is about the same weight at 4 y/o, so she's doing pretty good.  =)

    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • My son was the same way.  He grew up barely eating any variety of foods.  He is 4 now and the rule is that he cannot get up from the kitchen table until he takes one bite of the veggie or whatever it is he hasn't touched on his plate.  He gets a treat after dinner if he eats a good portion of his meal.  He is a terrible eater so this has been working for us.  My argument is how do you know you don't like it until you have at least tried it?  My husband grew up never having to eat any veggies and to this day he won't touch them.  I don't want the same for my kids.  I want to at least expose them to it.  When my son was younger I used to buy the veggie nuggets and he ate them thinking they were chicken.
  • imageSaraSmile:
    My son was the same way.  He grew up barely eating any variety of foods.  He is 4 now and the rule is that he cannot get up from the kitchen table until he takes one bite of the veggie or whatever it is he hasn't touched on his plate.  He gets a treat after dinner if he eats a good portion of his meal.  He is a terrible eater so this has been working for us.  My argument is how do you know you don't like it until you have at least tried it?  My husband grew up never having to eat any veggies and to this day he won't touch them.  I don't want the same for my kids.  I want to at least expose them to it.  When my son was younger I used to buy the veggie nuggets and he ate them thinking they were chicken.

    I know you're trying to help, but this does not work on kids with food/texture aversions.  It's just excrutiating for them to make them eat something that doesn't appeal to them or that they are afraid of. 

    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • imageSaraSmile:
    My son was the same way.  He grew up barely eating any variety of foods.  He is 4 now and the rule is that he cannot get up from the kitchen table until he takes one bite of the veggie or whatever it is he hasn't touched on his plate.  He gets a treat after dinner if he eats a good portion of his meal.  He is a terrible eater so this has been working for us.  My argument is how do you know you don't like it until you have at least tried it?  My husband grew up never having to eat any veggies and to this day he won't touch them.  I don't want the same for my kids.  I want to at least expose them to it.  When my son was younger I used to buy the veggie nuggets and he ate them thinking they were chicken.

    We have forced her in the past, DD cries while she's chewing and usually ends up having to spit it out into the garbage. She just can not get herself to swallow.

  • It sounds like maybe she needs sensory therapy.

    Also, I would definitely give her the purees (or make smoothies or whatnot) if that is what she will eat!

  • What is she getting for nutrition, then? You mentioned taking out dairy, egg whites, and wheat... what IS she eating?

    I have a friend who was in a similar situation with her DD. Turned out her DD was allergic to, like, everything. Milk, eggs, wheat, soy, tree nuts, peanuts, shellfish, seafood, apples, pears, rice... the list was HUGE. She exclusively breastfed her until she was 3.5--she felt like she had no other options because even hypoallergenic formulas contained some of the stuff her DD was allergic to. At 3.5 her allergy tests showed some of her allergies were gone (soy, apples, pears, rice), and slowly she started to try eating food.... At 5 she now eats 2 "meals" a day but they're like the size of DD's typical snacks, and was BF until about 4 months ago... totally not what her mom had planned on doing but it was that or IV feeds.

     I know you mentioned a neuropath but has she been tested for food allergies? I'm wondering if she might have a hidden allergy there (perhaps something like corn that is in everything)...?

     The SPD could be an issue, though. And also, some blog I read recently of a mom with twins with feeding issues said she was told that after 1 year, self-feeding no longer becomes something innate but instead something learned, so it takes more time to develop.

    I'm sorry you're going through this.




    ETA: Sorry I missed your list above when I wrote this! 

    Mom to J (10), L (4), and baby #3 arriving in July of 2015
  • Sorry I should have read the entire post.  I am not too familiar with food aversions. 
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