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Ok, so I know I am not married...

RedHeadedLeo85RedHeadedLeo85
in Blended Families

 Just to clarify to you ladies (not being snarky...)

...but SO and I have discussed a wedding and we do plan to get married. I have a ring on my finger, but it's a promise ring. He hasn't officially proposed to me because we currently only have one income and we have bills and other things to take care of first. THAT'S why I don't call him my FI. We are "technically" engaged to be married. The topic of a wedding comes up often like him asking where I want to get married and what I want for a dress and what not, but it's not official. IF asked, we would would both say, yes, we are engaged.

When he does officially propose and get down on one knee and ask me, I will post and let you ladies know. 

 

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RSVP Date: 2/28/2011
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Re: Ok, so I know I am not married...

  • DREWLILYDREWLILY
    I think most of the regulars on here prob already know this about you. But the judge won't know all the details and isn't going to ask either, so don't flaunt the bump and do dress professionally. And you better post your engagement on here!!!
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  • luckyangelluckyangel member

    imageDREWLILY:
    I think most of the regulars on here prob already know this about you. But the judge won't know all the details and isn't going to ask either, so don't flaunt the bump and do dress professionally. And you better post your engagement on here!!!

     

    Yeah!  DItto on all this!

    accordingtoabby.com" "From of suffering emerges the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahlil Gibran
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  • mom2onemom2one member
    Talking about marriage and actually being married are worlds apart. FWIW You can get married without a wedding or a dress...there is a reason it can be done at city hall. The judge knows this, as well as everyone else. There is a vast different between unmarried and pregnant...and married.
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member

    Unless you mention it, it would be pretty classless for the judge to ask you if you're pregnant or to make an issue out of it at all. If your ex or his attorney tries to bring it up, I'd shut it down immediately. Maybe they can compel you to answer, I don't know.. but I fail to see how it has any bearing on why you're in front of a judge.

    If you have to answer questions about your living situation, maybe just say that it's a long term relationship on the path to marriage. You should be able to answer honestly without delving into specific details.

    When I had to go to court to finalize my divorce, the judge asked me zero questions about my life. All he wanted to know about was why my marriage was fell apart, if there was any chance of reconciliation, and if I would do my best to promote my son's relationship with my ex. 

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  • J+RJ+R

    I didnt mean to make you feel bad... Honest.  I guess I see TOO many out of wedlock kids being born "with the intention" of getting married... I am old school I guess - I feel that it is sacred to have children with your husband, not various men... BUT - that is my own opinion. Lots differ and in todays world, a person is considered "lucky" to only have kids with one man (which I find very sad...)

    But we will be waiting for your proposal :) Then you can listen to me give you wedding ideas! haha :)

     I do love ya Pita.

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  • RedHeadedLeo85RedHeadedLeo85
    imageJ+R:

    I didnt mean to make you feel bad... Honest.  I guess I see TOO many out of wedlock kids being born "with the intention" of getting married... I am old school I guess - I feel that it is sacred to have children with your husband, not various men... BUT - that is my own opinion. Lots differ and in todays world, a person is considered "lucky" to only have kids with one man (which I find very sad...)

    But we will be waiting for your proposal :) Then you can listen to me give you wedding ideas! haha :)

     I do love ya Pita.

    I know you do. I love you too, hunny.

    It does kinda hurt to hear (knowing it's true in many eyes) that my children were born out of wedlock. It just sounds like they weren't made out of love and they will be treated differently and not loved the same because I wasn't married, ya know?  DF and I were engaged as well. He proposed, got down on one knee, the whole bit. But events of life had turned that around (SOOO glad for that). I was only 18 and was young. I am not saying that I am young now (24) but I sure know a hell of alot more now then I did then...

    ~*March 26th, 2011 - The day I marry my best friend*~ Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers image 44 Invitations sent out!
    image 70 guests are joining the celebration!
    image 11 friends are sad they can't make it
    image 20 people are procrastinators!
    RSVP Date: 2/28/2011
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  • paris.inthe.springparis.inthe.spring
    I def. think that the pther posters in the thread made good points. Don't be shocked if the judge gets annoyed by the pregnant not married thing, so the more put together you are, the more gathered and professinal you are, the better. And as stupid as it may seem, I would def. be wearing a ring on that left finger-hopefully he will just think it's an engagement/wedding ring and not even think about it.
    Good luck in court. When do you go?
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  • RedHeadedLeo85RedHeadedLeo85
    imageparis.inthe.spring:
    I def. think that the pther posters in the thread made good points. Don't be shocked if the judge gets annoyed by the pregnant not married thing, so the more put together you are, the more gathered and professinal you are, the better. And as stupid as it may seem, I would def. be wearing a ring on that left finger-hopefully he will just think it's an engagement/wedding ring and not even think about it.
    Good luck in court. When do you go?
    The first week of Dec. Due to the publicness of this board, I am not mentioning an actual date.
    ~*March 26th, 2011 - The day I marry my best friend*~ Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers image 44 Invitations sent out!
    image 70 guests are joining the celebration!
    image 11 friends are sad they can't make it
    image 20 people are procrastinators!
    RSVP Date: 2/28/2011
    Report Reply
  • Karma1969Karma1969 member

    I didn't read the other post yet, but I wanted to add (and I have shared this before) that in my case the Judge would not allow my Step Son to spend the night at my house until I was married.  We had a ring on my finger, a wedding date set, etc.  So, every time my DH had my SS he had to go to his parents with him and they would spend the night there.

    FWIW....Judges don't beleive that any topic is truly off limits. 

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