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Parenting
Have you ever yelled at your kids?
I mean really yelled. The other day DS#1 was throwing a garden variety 2-and-a-half-year-old tantrum. Normally, I just deal with it because I realize it's normal and irrational. But the other day I was really stressed out due to some other things, and I just snapped and yelled, "ENOUGH!" I felt awful. It didn't help a bit, by the way. He just yelled louder.
Later that morning, I told a lady I know who has grown kids how bad I felt about it. I think she was trying to make me feel better, but she told me that she thought that was one of the worst things you could do as a mom, and equated it with hitting your child. That thought had never crossed my mind, and now I feel worse.
So have you ever yelled like that at your kids? Do you think it's as bad as hitting them?
BTW, I later apologiozed to DS, and he's totally cool now. I don't think he'll even remember, but who knows?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Have you ever yelled at your kids?
Um, yeah, I've yelled. In fact, I've had a mommie-dearest type meltdown (think the "no wire hangers" scene) where I literally screamed at him so loudly that my throat hurt for days afterward and strangers stopped outside our house to see if we needed help.
My DS is happy and well adjusted. And he's really good at saying he's sorry since I've modeled it so well for him (heh heh). Try not to worry too much. We're all human. We make mistakes. I don't think there are many parents out there who haven't yelled at least once.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
I am not a yeller, so the times I have yelled at DS definitely made him pay attention.
I think if you do it a lot it has little effect (eventually) on the child's behavior, but plenty of impact on the child overall.
keep in mind that verbal abuse can be a whisper -- it's really about intent and content and not yelling per se.
that said, I grew up in a 'yelling' family but knew it was mostly noise. however, I did marry a quiet man...and I love him and his quietness!
Yes, please, show me that person.
Me with my littlest.
Is this a serious question?? LOL.
Yes, of course I've yelled at Jackson. Do I feel good about it? No. Do I think it worked? In some situations, yes. In some, no.
Anyone who claims they've never yelled at their kid is lying. Or is on some heavy drugs.
Oh yes, I have yelled. Not too long ago, DD1 was in one of her new found temper tantrums, and I yelled "SHUT UUUUUP!!!" at the top of my lungs. I'd just had it. Afterwards, I felt bad, and apologized.
IDK, I guess it's not as bad as hitting, but it depends on if it's a regular habit. Sometimes that can do as much damage.
yes, I yell at DD. I am getting better. But I would NEVER equate my yelling at DD with child abuse. NEVER. And I think that was insanely rude and out of line of that woman to say that to you.
Seriously, unless you are Michelle Duggar and talk 24/7 in that creepy calm voice that makes me think she's really gonna loosehershit at any second, I think every parent has raised their voice at some point.
Christmas 2011
I never yell. It's just not in me. I can't recall the last time I have raised my voice at anyone.
How could someone do that? I mean, it's so ridiculous and mean spirited.
And you should apologize asap and know that you have really messed up your kid. Probably for life.
This!
You can have the drugs --- I don't take them anymore!
The vodka --- I'm not sure I'm too keen on sharing tonight. Let me think on it.
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Ah, well, hell! It's you --- of course I'll share with you! Cheers!
<---- you KNOW that's vodka in that glass! 
I almost believe Jodi.
I have only scream yelled one time and it just made her cry/whine more. I raise my voice more than I care to admit.
LOL...first of all, I think the lady who thinks yelling at your kids once in a while is "one of the worst things you can do to them" needs a reality check. Kids really know how to get under your skin, and sometimes just "Stop, please," or "Okay, I'm going to count....1....2....3" doesn't cut it.
I have yelled at them. It doesn't happen that often, but I don't let myself feel badly about it. More often than not, it's after a warning or two to be quiet/stop what they're doing, whatever. I do not think it's as bad as hitting them, and certainly not one of the worst things you can do to them. I do think it's a bad habit to get into if it's a daily thing, but once in a while? It's fine. And I have apologized to my kids, but not if I feel that the yelling was justified. It's mostly to get them to just stop doing what they're doing and listen, and as the parent, I don't usually feel the need to apologize for that.