- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
2nd Trimester
Unmarried, but not a single mom!
Is there anyone on this site who is unmarried, but not a single mom? I have been in a wonderful relationship with the person I want to spend my life with for the past 2 1/2 years and we are thrilled to be starting a family together even if it didn't match our master plan for marriage and then kids. I would love to hear other people's stories!
Here is our story-Paul and I worked together and were friends for many months before we started dating. Once we started dating we fell fast and never looked back! After a few weeks of being together, I told my sister that Paul was the guy I was going to marry. We moved in together after 3 months and some people thought we were crazy, but I never doubted the decision. We talked about getting married and having children in the future pretty early on. It was one of those things you hear about- you just know that person is the one for you. Well, it was/is so true- when you know you know! We have been living together for about 2 years now, happily, and still very much in love and committed to each other and our life together. As far as love goes, I have felt like the luckiest woman in the world since being with Paul. I also feel lucky to be having a child with a supportive and loving partner who I adore. We didn't plan it, but we welcome it and wouldn't change a thing. We are both very happy excited about "our Little Bun" as we call it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Unmarried, but not a single mom!
I'm in the same situation. We're not married..yet..but it doesn't mean I'm a single mom. It's kind of annoying when people look at my baby bump then directly to my ring finger. No there isn't a ring on it as of now, but there will be one in the future!
Jim and I have been together for.....a year-ish? It depends on what date you go from (the "official date" or the date we started seeing each other).
We figure we're just doing things a little out of order. We're both SO happy to be having our LO and wouldn't have it any other way.
Yea, I never felt like that finger was so naked until now haha! The thing is there is no formula for a happy family and life. I have known people who are unhappily married and bring children into the picture. Marriage does not equal bliss or make someone a good mother or father. And of course, there are those who are happily married, and everything in between! Babies come into this world in many ways, and I think what matters is that they are loved and provided for and that is the bottom line! Congrats to you guys! Plus, we get to have the babies/toddlers in our wedding, how stinkin cute will that be!
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
"><a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"><img border="0" src="http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/825/1820/8251820.png" /></a><p style="text-align:center;width:420px;"><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - Free <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com">Calorie Counter</a></small></p>Yea, that's another thing, some people don't plan to get married and who says you need to! I know from growing up with parents who were unhappily married that marriage does not necessarily represent the love two people have for each other or their children! I am just glad my baby will have parents who love, respect, and support each other! Good for you guys and congrats!
I'm in a similar situation--I have known my FI for over 2 years and I've always liked him--we've been together about 7 months, and have lived together for about 3 months, and are 15 weeks pregnant. I'm sure it seems so fast to anyone outside of the relationship, but he is everything I have ever wanted, and vice versa, and we just knew from the start that this was it for us. We also knew we wanted kids asap (he's 38 and I'm 31) so we never really prevented pregnancy and ended up pregnant right away. I love him so much tho and couldn't be happier. We are both soooo excited for our little baby--who we refer to as "he" lol. We are engaged but no wedding date set yet, tho we'd like to get married before baby gets here. It may not be the "ideal" situation, but he is my ideal guy and I've honestly never been happier.
Nice! When people refer to Jim as my husband (sales people/people who don't know us) I don't correct them.He pretty much is anyway. All his young cousins call me his wife because, "You have to be married to have babies" we just laugh and go with it.
I am not married but living with my boyfriend...or babby daddy as I know call him (I teased girls who had one, so I now I get to use the term lol). We have been off and on for nearly three years. We met through unusuall circumstances. My first love was best friends with his first love. I became friends with his GF at that time and HATED him. They were together for three years and all three years I loathed him. We were forced to plan a trip together and in the midst of it him and his girlfriend broke up. She hadn't spoken to me for like a month and him and I clicked. She hates me and is crazy but I wouldn't trade him for the world. I did apologize to her for breaking the ultimate girl rule but at this point there isn't anything I can, nor want to do about it.
In regards to the ring thing...I grew up in a very strict church and was a very strict christian myself. I have strayed (obviously) and won't get into the story but I get and got a lot of"Oh! Your pregnant! Are you getting married?" Instead of saying it is in our future I say no to see the look on their face. It shouldn't matter. But that's the first thing they say.
BrittAny Nicole
hello. im also unmarried but not a single parent (to be)
my story? itll be a long one.. *smiles*
i met amador back in 2002.. we were both in VERY serious relationships at the time.. but i met him on a dark rainy night in an ally in in downtown Los Angeles.. lol.. (we used to go to parties at this one building) we were both wearing the cutest hoodies.. he was wearing a yellow bart simpson sweater with the hood being bart's head.. i was wearing a snoopy hoodie with the hood being snoopy's head.. lol anyway, i saw him standing in line with his GF but what caught our eyes was the hoddies we had on.. we became friends instantly.. months later both of our relationships were going to crap.. and we were there to vent for one another, i knew there was an attraction there, but our hearts were somewhere else..
long story short, too many problems were arising due to us having contact with one another, so in 2004 we stooped talking. ( my 6yr relationship had ended in 2004) and then he found me on "my space" in 2006... i was living in Palm Springs at the time, well actually moving to PS... i found out his 5yr relationship had also gone sour.. we started to talk again, then near the end of 2006, i invited him over for the weekend.. and he never went home.. lol...
we planned on getting married Dec of 2008.. but things didnt go as planned. My maid of honor broke her leg early December, and my dad passed away a couple of weeks later.
After December, we had a lot of problems. We took a break from each other in Feb. because my dad passing, was just too much for me to deal with. even if i did have someone by my side. but i had seen how unfair i was being to him and i just wanted to be alone. we would still talk and hang but we were no longer living together. in June, we decided to put all BS aside, no more childish games and if we wanted to be with one another, then we were going to be together for real. no more break ups.. make ups.. etc. i figured im 26 and im ready to move on with life. whether he was in it or not. i was ready for the next phase of my life.. i didnt know what it would be, but i was ready for it. apparently he felt the same way.. needless to say, we made up, and hello new phase.. PARENTHOOD..
we plan on getting married, but im just not sure when. we want something very simple.. but my wedding gown doesnt say "simple" its more of "hey!! look at US! were getting married!" and i dont want to buy another dress..even if its simple..
well, thats the story of us.. lol sorry if it was boring.. or way long..
haha I always refer to Paul as my baby daddy too, which my friends always laugh at. I am thinking of changing his name in my phone to "baby daddy." It's funny because before I was ever pregnant we used to refer to each other as "future baby mama/daddy," I think we even wrote it in a few cards to each other! I am amazed that people are surprised by not being married and having a child when most people have done the deed before marriage! It only takes one time haha
I'm unmarried. Me and the boy have been together for 3 1/2 years (will be a little over 4 when the baby comes) We live together and were planning on getting married and having kids anyways, now we are just on a different schedule. We are planning a wedding for January because we figured its going to be easier doing the wedding now then doing it with a newborn. Oringonally I wasn't keen on the idea but the more I thought about it, the better I felt about it.
You are no alone!
Unmarried does not mean single mom 
Unmarried, but definitely not single. Bun and I have been together for almost 4 years (Thanksgiving is our anniversary!!) and we do not intend to get married. He is my life partner. We decided 2 and a half years ago that we would be together for the rest of our lives, and my family at least considers us "married", in heart.
Don't let prudey wenches keep you down!
Thanks! The way we look at is that marriage is just a piece of paper...that's it. You can be completely commited to each other with out a piece of paper. Now with that said, I think the only way we would officially get married is if the kids asked us to.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
"><a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"><img border="0" src="http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/825/1820/8251820.png" /></a><p style="text-align:center;width:420px;"><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - Free <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com">Calorie Counter</a></small></p>I'm married, but that's because DH wanted to be married. I didn't care, and I also don't really like that most of my friends aren't legally allowed to marry the people they love. It's so sad that society is caught up on a person's status of being single or married... I agree with you ladies, what matters most is "happy" and there is no formula to guarantee that!
Same here! S/O and I planned on getting married before having kids. I was actually planning our wedding and he was planning out the engagement, but we put it on hold for awhile longer.
I have been friends with S/O's cousin for years. I am from Maine and so is his cousin. We went to elementary school together. Well one night my friend's family was throwing a going- away party because he was leaving for the air force. S/O, his parents, and siblings are all from VT. We met for the first time there and stayed up all night drinking, hanging out, and talking. It was awesome. We hit it off right away. He had to leave for VT and I stayed in ME, but 4 months later I moved down to VT to be with him and a few years later we are still inseparable! He is my world and I love him dearly.
I am actually engaged but nevertheless, unmarried.
Nate and I got engaged 3 days before I found out I was pregnant. We have been together for 8 months and I will spend the rest of my life with him whether we are married or not, it doesnt matter. Our twins will be loved just the same as any married couple.